Why Now?

brian237, I have had Cancer twice. I think we could have quite a conversation. I would like to talk to you using PM's when you are ready. I know where you are at. I know what you are feeling. Take a little breather, and let's talk.

I have terminal cancer. Its the way i was ment to go. So i get on with it. But sometimes i find it hard to believe that its really going to happen. Nobody really thinks there going to die. Everyone feels imortal and death happens to others and not me

Thanks Suz, I expecially am interested it that part about sex. lol

mewold, I believe that you are living life to the fullest, what a lucky woman your wife is to be so loved by you! More people should have your outlook on life.......I hope that your heart behaves and you get to complete your bucket list....luv Suz x

Sweatheart, It isn't a terrible thing at all. There are things I still want to do, but I have had a great life and I'm not afraid of death.

this is just tooo heart breaking . i have the heart irregularities as well. just don't know what to say ....hugsss and tears!!

lufrednow, thanks for the comment. I didn't know it had been featured in anything. I never recieve EP Newsletters. But I also consider it upbeat. We are all going to the end of life, and why let it rob us of our now. I believe in God. So why whine and cry about death?

This story featured in the first EP newsletter I have been sent, since joining EP a few weeks ago. I'm not sure if they only include sad stories in this, but all the ones I've seen have been a bit depressing.



Actually, you are quite up beat. I suppose one consolation is that, when it happens (and it is 100% certain to, one day), it will be quick. Whatever your beliefs, every account I have read about people surviving near death experiences suggests that the actual moment isn't scary at all. These people have lost their fear of death, because of what happened to them.

nomomisery, I did not mean that answer the way it came out. I do have a juicer and am keen to use it. I think that is a great idea, even for me. My wife can't eat lettice, for example. I don't know what else she has problems with. And I am only talking about raw veges. Thank you very much for your comments.

Thunderwalk, thanks for the words of kindness. When I leave this world, it will be with excitement to see what is next.

My love for you has never lessoned, keepthefaith247. I have even written two stories about you in the experience group "I am a male Mother". They are about your young years and some of the fun we have had.

Bravo . My heart goes to you , when you leave this world I truly believe we will hear a roar of defiance. God hears you , my heart says he is pleased with you. ( Just keep doing what your doing you will never lose ) Winners like you are the best people.

If anyone deserves a new heart it is you my friend as you have given of yours faithfully all your adult Iife , {probably longer, I can only vouch for age 22 to now :-) } Your gifts of wisdom, taught by example to a lucky few, by your stories by those fortunate enough to hear; have spread through this world in ever increasing circles of good...I've witnessed this truth.



I know it's hard when you have done your best raising four children.. but only three decent ones result. As you said you did your best and that is 100% mewold. I think you are beautiful.

I understand what you are saying ans I think you are probably right. But I am a little long in the tooth to be changing my total lifestyle now and my sweet wife cannot eat raw veges. because of severe sores in her stomach.

What a great comment. DrewMac, yours is also a great view of life and I thank you for sharing. And I will not forget to breath out. :- )

Being funny about death????? Why not.

lololo

RainDancer, I like sunny days. lol

Coyotegray, those are beautiful words you are sending my way. I thank you.

i was trying to make it sound good remember the clouds hear everything

RainDancer, we meet on the other side and my hand is all you want to shake? I am doing something wrong. lol

Death will take care of itself - we don't have to worry or anticipate. It will come for us all when the time is up. All we can do is take care of the days and minutes of our lives. The dying is the only given.



I know you know how to enjoy life - to laugh and to wonder - that is a gift you've shared will all of us - and I hope you keep right on sharing it as long as you can.

Sara, thank you my friend. I think of you every day with love also. (and maybe a little lust) LMAO!

when you go and when its my turn wait for me on the fast lane just so I will pass by and shake your hand

Just writing to tell you again what a fantastic friend you are, mewold, and how I think of you every single day, with love.

Andrew Penney......My very good Friend..... You can take my stories anywhere you want and I will go along for the ride. You have had a life very different from mine, yet, in a strange way it has also been very simular to mine. And you have developed great strength of character. My hat (and my clothes lol) is, as always, off to you.

mizzen123, Thank you for your support. There are other times when fear (not of death) grabs me. I am going to write a story about it today.

sweetmeisje, you seem to really *get* it. Thank you for the support. I wish I had your character at your age.

Hello again, mewold. What sweetmeisje wrote really resonated with me, and I am grateful to her for writing it. My father died unexpectedly at 50, after a very brief illness. Three weeks later, his father-in-law passed away at the age of 95. At my maternal grandfather's funeral wake, I was receiving condolences from people who were only just learning that my father had died.



Inevitably, people here in Singapore concluded that the death of the younger man was a tragedy. "So young... only 50..."



I don't know. For most of my childhood, my father came home from work at 4.00pm. And he would play with us. He lived well, he loved well (ahem...), he had no enemies or hangups, and he got on so well with his parents that he raised his family under their roof.



After his death, people -- mostly his former students -- kept coming up to us to tell us something good about him. The amazing thing is that they recognized us; my father brought my brother and me to work with him every day in his heart, when we visited him at work his students and teaching colleagues always seemed to know everything about us. Those strangers felt like they knew us... and they *did* know us. I recognized myself in the "me" my father had brought to them.



Mike, I like to think that my father lived a complete life within the span of his 50 years. I am trying to do the same. His death came without very much warning; mine is already an old friend (and sometimes, old enemy).



My Stunt Nephew (aged 4+) is being brought up by us in the same spirit. He is gifted and gets things done very quickly and efficiently, but he also enjoys stopping to smell the flowers and *think* and day-dream, just like the grandfather he never knew. I am not a "huggy touchy-feely" kind of person, but that little man converted me. He will be okay, whatever lifespan Fate might give him. He lives fully, and he lives well. Even though he is only four, I can already tell that he will turn out well. He is emotionally resilient, compassionate, and also very very strong and confident. I know that he doesn't need me around to be okay, and that brings comfort to my heart.



There has been an absurd amount of happiness and joy and love in my complicated life, and I'm glad I was born.



Sorry for this hijack!



*hugs and love*



Andrew

Mewold,your story and your apprroach to life and mortality is humbling.



I wish you everything you could wish for.



Mizz x