They Never Knew the Real Me.

sometimes, i find myself tired of pretending. trying to be better in front of them, so that i won't let them down. so that they will be proud of me. the truth is, i hope that they will love me for who i am, not because of the one they wish i could be. i am the second daughter, and compared to my sisters, i'm totally different. i like to be away from home, so that they will feel at ease, and i would not feel the tension of not being understood by the whole family. maybe this is what people call ' the phase' of which i try to find myself, and i try to get rid of everything that blocks my way..
hazsha hazsha
18-21, F
4 Responses May 30, 2007

i was feeling like you so i can understand how you feel. if i had to tell sth to help you find a solution is that noone will understand how you feel so you have to face the problem alone. it will be hard but you should do it;)

Do you still find yourself pretending to be someone you're not?

Well if it's a phase, than i am still going through parts of that stage. I'm sorry that u feel like u have to stay away from your very own home so you can feel content and so you don't feel like you are stressing people out. Since i felt the same way you did, i made the choice to leave my parents home as soon as i finished high school. i worked my way through University and paid my own way by living in an apartment with 2 other girl friends AND it felt GREAT. Even at 45 i am still very much considered the black sheep of the family, so i rarely, if ever, see them and i am creating my own family!! Right now i have two very close friends and i actually refer to them as my sister and brother. So don't worry, phase or not, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, until you get there, hang in and be well!!

You don't have to pretend just to please other people the most important thing is that you know who u are and that despite everything u know which right road to take.It's really difficult to meet other people's expectation but as long as u are doing ur best in everything that u do that something u have to be proud of urself.Just be urself& be strong......