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Life Is Definately Different...

My mother died early 2010. It was the WORST day of my life, and i've had some super bad days. I was chatting on the phone with her when she slipped in her jacuzzi and hit her head and drown. I went to check on her and of course found her. I was screaming and crying and just didn't know how to continue living. Of course, life keeps going whether you like it or not, and I had to face everyday since knowing that she's not going to call, and that I can't go visit her. I'm only in my 20's and sometimes i feel different and alone. I really don't feel like many people know what i'm going through, and sometimes that's all i need is someone to understand. It just sucks. A lot.
zipper42 zipper42 26-30 136 Responses Jul 7, 2010

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Hi all, just like to say sorry for your loss
My mom died 4 days ago, she was diagnosed with liver cancer a week b4 she died.
I have 5 siblings from my mom and we were all there when she passed, im the second oldest, when we were told of her condition i done reasearch to prepare myself for whats to come, the week she was in hospital i spent alot of my time in the background, didnt no what to say to her, knowing what symptoms she could possibly have and seeing them happen threw me, i wasnt quiet prepared, it was hard coz 4 of my siblings are younger than me and ive always been strong for them with whatever they go through, as i did when my mom took ill with cancer, i cant sleep, b4 my mom passed she slept alot as the end came a day b4 she died she jumped up pleading for help which keeps me awake and plays on my mind ALOT we couldnt do anything, the nurse kept giving her medication to calm her down.
i almost feel nothing, kinda numb but i have little crying bursts here n there and they are very short. Im confused and cant remember things all the time and feel like im going crazy, im dealing with these strange feelings alone and dont no how to deal with them. I feel like nobody understands whats happening to me as my siblings have broken down n yet i seem normal. I feel bad and confused as to why im not doing the same.
I feel angry at the world for getting on with things (living) but knowing thats wat we all have to do.... :-(

My mom died in 2009. I realize that She is always inside of me since I came from her. I have all that she gave me of herself, inside and out. A life, this body that gave my spirit a physical body to live in, her experiences living in this crazy world, her one of a kind love. Basically, she lives in me and is always there. I try to be as true to her memory as I can and use what she gave me to go on living the life that she have me. Spirits never die. Hang in there.

I'm so sorry,I have no idea what your going through. But around 2 year ago I lost a cousin who was a lot like a brother to me so I definitely can relate to you in some ways. If you can find anyone to talk to just hit me up on chat xx

life will get easier, trust me!

My Mom died a year ago after a year long battle with stomach and esophageal cancer. She weighed 76 pounds when she died. My faith has kept me going. I'm through the grief I guess but I miss her more as time goes on. Her little girl left with her ... I am the woman that remains. I lost my Dad too ...years earlier. I am nobody's child anymore. That's how it feels to me. I'm lonely most if the time. We were best friends and I'm trying to learn to live without her in my life. It's hard because she was such a large part of it. I'm sorry for everyone on here. I know something of your pain.

I can understand how you feel. My mom and I were best friends, my sisters estranged from her and i. She passed away this past Thanksgiving and I am lost without her. The girl I was went away with her. I want yself back, bt i cry at every little thing. My fiance lost his mom the same year on Valentines Day. He cant handle me being upset. I am disabled and he doesnt want me getting sick. I feel no one understands my loss. I just try and take t day by day, accept mself and how I feel. I feel often alone. So you are not alone....

I'm 12 and my mom died November 14, 2012. Worst day of my life. I came home from school and there was a note on the table. it said Don't go in my room. I guess she didn't want me to see her dead. I just wish I hugged her extra before school. I was screaming. I was up till 4 in the morning. now I am suffering with depression. I feel lonely without her.

I'm sorry.

I know exactly how you are feeling. My mother died in 2010 also, when I just turned 27- she died of cancer only a month after diagnosis and I never got to say goodbye because she wound up coding in the hospital (where I also work). It is true that no one knows how you feel until you go through something like this. I know I could not understand until it happened to me. I have also been different since it happened, probably more seclusive...but at the same time I try to enjoy every minute of being with my family and not to hold grudges because you never know what will happen.

iam sry2hear this/ bt who can fight against fate.it was god"s will/my mom died i know how u feel she died´╗┐ one year ago i was crying now i have just a dad but i want a mom to hug me right NOW i am crying:::}:coz mother is very important,,,

Im so sorry for you, I wanna give a big big hug! I do understand ur feelings,my mom died 18 days ago...I miss her a lot, life has changed and never will be the same<br />
She will always be with you,watching u,guiding u, please be strong!

hello everyone i would just like to say thank you for your time of comments. it has been 31/2 years for my mom passing and i tell you all it never ends{all the pain} i think that for me keeping busy helped but doesnt really solve anything. if i could give any advice id say to enjoy the memories you have when she was liv ing that is sure what my mom would want. thanks everyone hope you all find peace:-}

My mother passed away in July. I was her full time carer for ten years or so. Mum had chronic arthritis and many other medical problems which crippled her in her last years. I am her son, so for a man it was sometimes very difficult but we got thought it all OK.<br />
<br />
I found mum collapsed on her bed she had had a huge anerism which was enough to make the end very quick. The house is now so cold and empty with her sitting in her chair watching TV. She had a twinkle in her eye and a love of the one line joke. She is missed by everyone who knew her. Mum now rests in a better place with no pain.<br />
<br />
All I can say to other children no matter how old or young you are try to pick up the pieces of your life remember your loved one with respect and love remember the good times not the bad. For me now living in this shell of a house its time to move on. I wish you all well in the future

My mom died of cancer last may. She died at home surrounded by her friends and family. It was awful. That's all I have to say.

You never get over it, but it becomes less painful in time. <br />
You will always have your mother in you. It will come out in a thought " Mum used to say......." or when passing memorable places. Her genes are in you, your behaviour imprinted partly from her. The tragic way she died where you were a witness but unable to help must have affected you. Have you considered some professional counselling? <br />
I wish you peace.

my mom died when i was 12....and i'm 15 going on 16 on the 24th....and i'm totally different. me and sister don't speak anymore because she use to abuse my mom. me and my dad completely hate each other....and when my mom died....it happened 6 day's after ...7th grade had started. and my whole 7th grade i was bullied. i got called 'dogface' 'ugly' '*****' and i just wanted to die. before my mom had died.....she was an alcoholic ...and she would always go in these rages....she died of 'accidental overdose' WHICH is not what i believe because...she was suicidal ...and she took the same medication for over 2 year's and would take the same amount that she had to take...so ALL THE SUDDEN , she just forgets? ...no...that doesn't make sense. and another thing ...she was getting evicted ...and she had her stuff packed up ....but she had no where to go. ...her and my dad were divorced.....she could only see me on the weekends....my sister didn't want anything to do with her. she would always hit my mom......she also would hit me too. so that's my story ...i'm sorry for your loss.

I lost my mum 7 years ago and I still miss her like crazy I lost my Dad. 5 years ago and somedays life just sucks

I don't know what it's like, but I hope this hug will help a bit. *HUG*

I would be curioused if there would be the other. A mother's death is one of the most important, and one of the most sad and shaking event. It must change everybody.

I hope you're ok now :)

That breaks my heart. My sincerest condolences and I pray you have gotten strength since then. Just remember life goes on."this too shall pass" xoxo

My mother was acting strangely when my older sister came to visit on Jan 17 2012. On the 18th we took her to local hospital thinking she might have had a stroke - er thought so too, until they did a cat scan - we found out she had a brain tumor - they sent her to Saint Louis University Hospital. The next day we found out she had stage 4 lung cancer. They did brain surgery to try an remove one tumor. We took her home a few days later. She started radiation. She had 4 treatments left and she collasped. They thought she was dehydrated but she never really came around like she should. It was the cancer too they said. We took her home and called hospice. We took her to ER on 2/23 - she wound up passing on 3/2 - it has been so hard. Everything has happened so so fast.<br />
I feel like kicking and screaming and throwing things. <br />
I wake up sometimes forgetting she is gone - that sucks.<br />
I live right next door to where my mom and dad live - it is so hard sometimes being there and she is gone. Plus stupid Poplar Bluff MO will not give out anxiety medicine unless you are dying.<br />
I wake up sometimes having severe panic attacks.<br />
Sometimes I think I am ok and all of the sudden it hits that she is gone.<br />
Now I am a Christian and know she was too and believe she is in Heaven but still it is hard.<br />
She was my best friend.<br />
My sister in law said I will tell you something no one else will (she lost her dad a year ago) it will never get easier.<br />
I believe her - it's been almost 3 weeks and it kills me

*HUG*

im so sorry! :(<br />
I dont even want to think of this day but i know its ineveitable. My parents are the best angels in the world and things just wouldnt ever be the same on earth ,<br />
I lost my little girl and losing a child is something NO PARENT should ever have to suffer. It blows! Gentle hugs

Awww. That sounds so terrible for you. I hope you get through this and know that you are not alone. Your mother is still alive in spirit. You will see her on the other side. Sorry to hear you are suffering.

Remember she is in a better place now , you need to be strong <br />
<br />
sometimes it may take you a little time ... been 7 years since mom passed away ,I watched her died in front of me ....you may know the feeling <br />
<br />
don't like to remember her because I can not handle that idea ,I found out all you need is to count on your self , no matter how people support you or be by your side , when they don't u will get sad , don't let your feeling depends on others <br />
<br />
some people never understand you may find them cruel , cheer up life will goes on whatever you like it or not<br />
<br />
focus on your life , and I wish you all the luck

Wow... That story was simply heart-wrenching for me to read. I can't even find words to express my feelings right now. I am truly sorry.

My mother passed away in 2001. She became sick and lived with me for 8 years. I took care of her, she passed away at home. I found her in morning and tried to revive her, but I knew she was gone. I miss her everyday. I planted a garden in my yard for her with an angel in the middle. I also keep a picture of me and her at my bedside. I talk to her all the time, it makes me feel better. I still do special things that I always did for her. For her birthday I get balloons and write notes on them and let them go to heaven. My sister lives out of state so we do this together at the same time. I still go to her favorite candy shop and get the truffles she used to like and drop one off at the cemetary and I eat one and mail the rest to my sisiter. Those little things I do make me feel better. I do belive she is with me and someday in God's big plan I will be with her again. In the meantime I enjoy life because I know my mother wanted me to be happy. I know what you are going through.

thats so sad, im sorry. what a horrible thing. just remember, your mother's watching over you and she wants you to be happy. :D

Even if my mom is still with me, i fully understand... For me, i am always in fear of losing her because I dont know what i will do if that ever happens. I just cant take the thought of her gone. Sometimes i weep just with the thought of it. Right now I see white hairs on her head. It drives me crazy knowing she is old and one day she might be gone. I think i understand how you feel. I just hope you continue living and hopefully, you will have your own family in the future and u will become a mother/father yourself. and maybe having children someday, you will realize that in the future you would not be alone.

first of all, you CANT understand because you still have your mum so really, don't say you can understand! and secondly, that is a good piece of advice of someone who lost her mum at ****** 9, except of thinking about your mums death, ENJOY her presence and spend time with her and say that you love her. don't think about this that is so ****** stupid- for real

first of all, my advice was not for you but for the original poster. i'd like it if he/she was the one insulting my advice. don't listen if you think there is no wisdom in it but i assure you it was sincere and came from the heart.
secondly, my mom is with another man who is not my father and when that happened i felt like i lost her. so she is in this world physically but i dont feel much of her presence anymore. we dont have those mother-daughter moments and we live in separate homes far away from each other. but i think about all the memories of us in the past when i was a little child and that strikes a chord in me everytime and thinking that she might one day pass makes me so sad like im back to being that little child who had her mom by her side all the time and then losing her. and thinking that she might pass and there's this big gap in our relationship now makes me sadder. it's not easy to say i love you anymore because everything has changed between us but i try to. so thanks for the advice and your sarcasm but it's not that easy to "ENJOY her presence and spend time with her".

Sorry for your loss. My mother died while giving birth to me (so I;m told) so i never knew her or my father but moving on is the key. wallowing in the past wont help and the future will get better for you

I'm sorry that I didn't read all the comments... but my mother died just last year in September. It was really unexpected (a very easy operation that failed). <br />
<br />
How did you go on with your life? cause I just don't know how anymore... everyday I think about suicide... <br />
<br />
For the record, I'm only 23...

It's amazing. I JUST woke up from a nap and I had a short dream (again) about my mother passing! She died 12 years ago in her home as all the family and the preacher was by her side, assuring her and helping to meet Jesus on the other side. <br />
<br />
Losing one's mother is by far the most painful and difficult task to overcome. BUT she as your mom will always be there with us. Not in flesh, but as a spirit that will remind us of everything they taught!<br />
<br />
.....Never be afraid of tomorrow, Jesus is already there!

I can assure you that you are not alone my mother died may 26 2011 and i was 17 years old it hasn't even been a year yet it was a terrible unexpected loss. The worst part about it was that she passed away a week before my high school graduation. I know exactly how you feel and some days are better than others. I always try to keep myself occupied so i won't think about it as much but that doesn't really work that well because running from it is worse than just facing it. I love her and miss her tremendously! Life truly is not the same for me either.

I am so sorry to hear your sad story. I cannot begin to imagine what you must have gone through / are going through. I can only let you know that people are thinking of you and that support is there (here!) if you need it - never be afraid to ask for help!<br />
x

Hi, I'am new to this website but I know exactly how you feel my mom died in nov. 2010.. and I'am in my 20's and definietly feel alone.. my mom died in a car accident and when I found out at work is was the worst day of my entire life.. I dont go a single day without crying or thinking about her. I know feel like life is bitter sweet, like everything I do is bitter sweet.. again I know how you feel and it does suck.

let me say first that i am so sorry for your loss and that many of us definitely do understand just how you feel. to say it sucks is putting it mildly and foe me it still sucks after losing my mom 22 years ago. in some ways it's even more difficult on me now than it was in the early years. i have so many question now, for example, that i didn't have when mom was alive and not being able to ask her just tears me up.

let me say first that i am so sorry for your loss and that many of us definitely do understand just how you feel. to say it sucks is putting it mildly and foe me it still sucks after losing my mom 22 years ago. in some ways it's even more difficult on me now than it was in the early years. i have so many question now, for example, that i didn't have when mom was alive and not being able to ask her just tears me up.

For all of you who lost someone... here's my advise... don't remember they are dead... remember that they once lived.. think about it. You will understand.

growing up my mother was an alcoholic and very abusive.i learned in time how to deal with it.all those years i did not care about the things she did to me or the things her boyfriends did while she was passed out.none of those hurt as much as it hurt when she died.no matter what she did i loved her with all my heart..i find it very hard to live with out her.i have no friends. i lived all my life in my mothers shadow.i lived my entire trying to please her.i never could. i,m 60yrs. old now my life is about over. i just hate the fact i will go to my grave knowing my mother hated me.

growing up my mother was an alcoholic and very abusive.i learned in time how to deal with it.all those years i did not care about the things she did to me or the things her boyfriends did while she was passed out.none of those hurt as much as it hurt when she died.no matter what she did i loved her with all my heart..i find it very hard to live with out her.i have no friends. i lived all my life in my mothers shadow.i lived my entire trying to please her.i never could. i,m 60yrs. old now my life is about over. i just hate the fact i will go to my grave knowing my mother hated me.

I lost my mom 6 weeks ago and it is very hard, gets easier as time goes by, the 1st two days were the worst, next 2 weeks were horrifying, now its 6 weeks and i am getting better and stronger but still cry for her and miss her alot.<br />
<br />
Try to keep busy. You are in my thoughts and prayers.<br />
<br />
Debbie

I know what you mean about feeling different and alone. Its so hard isn't it? I lost my mom 6 weeks ago and i am devestated. I am by myself, my kids are grown and gone. I cry alot and miss her so much.<br />
<br />
I hope with time we all get betterand see a brighter future. Like you said the whole thing is hard.<br />
<br />
Prayers for you.<br />
Debbie

Honey, I just lost my mom last month, its scary not talking to her, i was very close with her. I am 52 years old and i brought her to NJ and the nursing home she was in did not properly care for her. <br />
<br />
I know how scary it is, I described how i felt tonight on www.grieving.com its a good site to share loss with others, try it.<br />
<br />
I so understand you, I am scared at my age because she was my everything. If we would have stayed in calif this may not have happened. I took such good care of her and she was a great mother when i was younger, always worked and put my needs before her own.<br />
<br />
I will pray for both of us. the holidays are really hard and some days i just don't know what to do without her. No one compares. I am doing a masters degree which helps and i play piano. I could barely eat after she died. I was in shock, I thought she would be here forever. We are here to help you cope. Debbie

flying....to have someone die, in an accident, there, right before you...that is not an emotioanal trauma that easily dissolves..And for this person to be your mom, well.. you have a huge burden to bear..It is such a helpless feeling to have someone you love, be hurt, and there is nothing you can do to repair them, to make them well, to keep them safe from harm...to bring them back...<br />
<br />
I am very sorry that this happened to you...And so perhaps this is part of your quest to be a nurse...to help others, to make up for the inability to help your mom...Your mom knows you loved her...Your mom knows the heartbreak her passing caused... i wish you the blessing of healing, and the knowledge, that you know there was nothing you could have done to change the outcome...Let go of all the if onlys ...and now concentrate on all the if onlys that need to happen, to allow you to have the loving and happy and healthy life you deserve..It is time for you to move forward and simply be you and live...<br />
<br />
With love and hugs<br />
your friend<br />
Sherry

I lost my mom much later, when I was 46, and 4 years later I still miss her every day. It doesn't get easier exactly, but I've somehow learned to deal with it. Your story makes me cry for you. As you can see, you're not alone.

.I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom .i lost my mom almost ayear ago and fighting hardly to over come my loss .life is different but whenever i remember here i tried to pray for here .god bless you .every thing in life takes time try to be with people who will give you joy and happiness...

Hi zipper42, my dad died in 1981 at age 51 I was 17 the day he died, worst day of my life to. this week he would have been 88. so yes I do understand. hang in there and talk to people like you have, talking to people has helped me. and take care of yourself, people do care about you. fill free to talk to me if you would like.

I want to cry but I'm too tough to cry. I have water filled eyes. Because I love my mom because I have never felt any other love so strong from any other person in my life. I understand the love you have for your mother but I don't feel your pain,I wish I had the power to take away your pain I hate to see or hear people in misery .But It's good to see that you have a lot of people here that do feel your pain and know exactly what you're going through. Stay sane you'll be ok.

That story actually brought a tear to my eye. I could barely read it.<br />
Such an unfortunate accident. :(

My mother also passed away in 2010, but in august, it's so hard to carry on when you still have questions with no answers remaining. It's hard to go on with life when there always feels like there's something missing ... You just have to be strong and know that they wouldn't want you to be anything less than you are

I'm really sorry to hear about your loss, I can't imagine the emotional turmoil you went through being the one to find her. I lost my dad when I was 15 & I still miss him as much as I did the first day without him- you were right ... Life goes on. But keep your memories and treasure them, and don't forget that she is always closer than you think.

I am 52 years old, my mother passed in 2006. When we lose a loved one it never gets easier to deal with. Only others who have lost a beloved parent/sibling understand. I still cry at times, I'm glad I do because I loved my parents so very much for what they did for me. When I miss them I'm glad because they were so special. It's sad when others complain about their parents/siblings, make amends is what I say. Be able to accept them for who they are, not what you want. Tell them you love them, give them a hug, write them a letter of why you love them. Live with no regrets. A life full of great memories is a gift to you and others. Live a life where people will miss you too!

I'm so very sorry for the loss of your mom. I know how it feels to lose a parent and its not easy to deal with.. I lost my mom a little over 2 years ago -- August 1, 2009. I had just turned 20 in July. I remember the phone call the day after she had passed away & I collapsed into tears. I didn't want to believe it. So if you ever need to talk you can message me.

Sorry to know about your Mother. may god give peace to her soule and sent into lovely heaven. Where she will say to other fellows of heaven see people this is my son .See how much he loves me .I am lucky that I had son like him .She will be proud of you..As you sad life gose on whatever you like it or not ,it's true that no one can replace her But you know when you will get marry and will have your kids, a very caring wife. then your new life will be start ..and your love and cares will be divert <br />
May God give you the patience.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

No matter how old we are losing a parent is hard, time heals and makes it more bearable, but still we miss them<br />
<br />
Welcome to PM me anytime

I'm here if you need to talk. I'm 20 yrs old, and my dad passed away last year on May 4th. He was diagnosed with cancer, and just... Shriveled. It was like he was dying before my eyes but he was still living. He ended up dying of a heart attack, which some say is a blessing. I say a blessing would be if he was still alive and healthy right now. I miss him everyday

My heart & soul goes out to you my dear. All blessings love and peace & comfort to you & your family.

i would not know how i would know since i have never lost a parent but if u ever need someone to talk to i can

Condolences to you and to all of those who have lost someone.

I lost my mum on 19 june 2011 I am so sad every day I am sad. She died suddenly or heart failure and I thought she was healthy and noone expected it. My dad found another girlfriend before mums ashes even cooled down. She is chinese and she wants to get married to him after only knowing each other for a week. Gee I wonder what she is after. My dad had many affairs on mum and made her life hell she suffered so much stress and I think my dad helped kill my mum with stress because he gave her such a terrible time. I just want my mum to come back and I know this is not possible. I dream of her a lot and I hope she is in a better place because her life on earth was not happy

Hi Zipper42,<br />
First I will say, I am sorry for your loss of your mom. My mom passed away on Halloween, 1996 and I was extremely close to my mom. For most of my life, she was my best friend. We had a very deep love, friendship and connection. Cancer took her just 3 short weeks after she was diagnosed. I was devastated, and so was my 3 sibling.<br />
<br />
There are no easy answers, I suggest that you not let anyone tell you how long you should grieve - or that you should get over it. Everyone handles grief differently, and each person requires a different amount of time to deal with the situation, and how the passing of that person has changed your life.<br />
<br />
I still miss my mother deeply.<br />
<br />
My most sincere prayers go out to you and your family. Reach out to God and ask him to help you with your grief, God sure did for me - when I asked for it. You need to find what works best for you when it comes to helping you heal and deal with the passing of your mom.<br />
<br />
Rejoice in the good times you had with her, and know that she lives on and her spirit is in you.<br />
<br />
May our Almighty God comfort you in your time of sorrow. Stay strong and adjust to it all, at your own pace. God speed.

My dad died in the car when I was 8..I felt like i wanted to hop out of that car,so I could go with him. I wanted to cuddle up with my mom and cry for life. I miss him. But i guess you have to know that your mom wouldnt want you to be depressed. She would want you to live your life and be happy[:

I am so sorry to hear about that! I cant imagine your pain or how you felt other than devastated and filled with loss. My mother is my world and i have no idea how ill handle that day when shes not with me anymore. I dont think ill be able to go on living, shes the only reason i still want to be here. Youre in my prayers and if its possible to send joy your way, i hope you recieve all of it.

My dad passed away last year and it was the worst day of my life too. Of course we all grieved through out the entire year but eventually we all have to move on whether we want to or not. Don't worry, there are people who understand EXACTLY what you're going through, a few of them that have already commented on your story. Whenever you miss her, just sit near her grave and talk to her as if she was alive, tell her about the latest news and even laugh when you feel like it and i promise you she will be with you all the time. If you have an aunt from your mum's side then hug her and you might feel your mum's spirit in her since they share the same blood. These are two things i do whenever i miss my dad, maybe they wont bring him back but at least they help me a lot. Stay strong and try talking to someone close about what you feel and you'll feel much better then. I'm always here for you too. xx

I can relate to you .i lost my mother 33yrs ago she had cancer i was only 17yrs old your never ready to lose your mother . with my mother it was expected the doctors gave her 1yr to the day she was diagnosed it was in stage 4 and she had chemo but it was to late i know with your mother it was unexpected that must have been a terrible shock . that will be your worst day ever if anytime you would need someone to talk to i'll be there . i will keep you in my prayers in time it will a little easier for you <br />
signed cupcake 11925

I am so sorry for you and the loss of your dear mother. I too have lost my mother. She had been living with me for quite a few years since she was no longer able to care for herself. I was also the one who found her when I went in to check on her first thing in the morning. It was such a shock because I had just talked to her a few hours before and she was doing fine at that time. But then just about 6 hours later she was gone. The Dr. said that her heart had just given out after years of being sick and in pain.<br />
<br />
I was in my 40's when I lost my own precious mother and my heat goes out to you losing your mother at only 20. The pain of going in and finding mom had passed away still hurts so much and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss her. Everyone says that it gets easier with time but for me it has been several years and I am still waiting for the easier.

Its difficult to lose your mother at any age, but at age 20, it is especially difficult. My best wishes are with you to gain peace, and in time, you will. It hurts the most strongly for a year or so, then you'll move on.

This quote comes from a site for people that are grieving. The site is secondsfirst. It is on FB. I think it would help you through the time you are going right now.<br />
I was walking down the street, and all of a sudden I saw a woman who resembled me. <br />
At first I was startled. <br />
She looked just like I do but she talked and smiled differently. This lookalike woman had never experienced the devastating grief. <br />
In fact he was never part of her life. <br />
She had never met him. <br />
And that's when I realized that there was a fork in the road, long ago.... Knowing what I know now, if I found myself back on that fork. I can surely say, I would have traced every step back to all the years that led me to who I am today. <br />
Because without her, I would have never been born.<br />
.<br />
Please take time to check out second first site, it is a great site for any person grieving or have lost<br />
Best to you

My Mother died when I was 13.... that was a good few years back now, she is my best friend and always will be my Mother, have a wee word with her every day, let her know how your feeling, one thing for sure your Mother will be listening to you and from time to time when you think you can smell her or feel her presence around you. you can be sure that will be your Mother sending you love and support.<br />
She is there for you and wants the best for you as always ..

I know what you mean. It's been ten years this past may since my dad passed and life is never the same again. God bless you

Your mother will forever be with you in your heart! I bet you lOok just like her don't you; its gonna get worse before it gets better but just know that she raised a strong minded young woman and you can get threw this just have faith and more importantly believe in your self

Wow Im so sorry for your loss. I have never lost a parent, well if you don't count my absent father. I have only one Mother and only ONE parent. I wouldn't know how to continue life either. Guess you just have to take it one day at a time. And she is your mother, she will always be with you in many way. Touching story.

I'm so, so sorry for your loss.<br />
~sbr

I had 2 kids by the time my dad died and I was and still am so busy trying to keep things going and pay my bills every month that i never had time to get upset. I guess in some ways it's good to work hard and be busy but I wish I didn't have to work 2 jobs my whole life to get by. Maybe you need to find something that needs doing to take your mind off it. I mean eventually you have to move on. I'm not saying forget but just don't dwell.

My dad died suddenly when I was 22, and my mom was diagnosed with cancer and buried exactly 2 months later, when I was 31 so I can understand your feelings. Every year that passes will ease the pain and your grieving somewhat. I am sorry that you are going through this while you are so young, but please know, others do understand, and it will get better.

That is rough, oh no, I am sorry that your mother is no longer here. I couldn't even bare thinking about losing my mom. I would be devastated

Your right most the people have no idea what to say or do to help you. I remember as if it was five minutes ago not twenty years this August that I was informed of my wife's tragic dead. I called my mother and she said i know what your telling me but who is this? I felt as though I could feel every individual cell in my body. My five year old son was with her and was very seriously injured himself. The first days were minute by minute and it took along time for that to change. <br />
<br />
Weeks later I would run into people who knew my wife and I quickly realized I ended up comforting them not the other way around. About a year latter my son and I were at a McDonald's and he was watching children with their mothers and started to cry and asked to leave. When we got outside alone he said dad, please tell me want to do I miss mom so much, do you understand how I feel. My answer was no I don't son as you lost your mom which is different from me losing my wife. I never felt more lost as a parent even to this day. <br />
<br />
It's clear you already understand that this event has and will alter the balance of your life. My heart goes out to you and I can tell you what survives over time is the love you shared. It's a lifelong journey, but you adjust and survive and that is what your mother whats for you. The love does not disparate into thin air but sustains itself and grows, it can never be taken away! She lives on through you.

Your right most the people have no idea what to say or do to help you. I remember as if it was five minutes ago not twenty years this August that I was informed of my wife's tragic dead. I called my mother and she said i know what your telling me but who is this? I felt as though I could feel every individual cell in my body. My five year old son was with her and was very seriously injured himself. The first days were minute by minute and it took along time for that to change. <br />
<br />
Weeks later I would run into people who knew my wife and I quickly realized I ended up comforting them not the other way around. About a year latter my son and I were at a McDonald's and he was watching children with their mothers and started to cry and asked to leave. When we got outside alone he said dad, please tell me want to do I miss mom so much, do you understand how I feel. My answer was no I don't son as you lost your mom which is different from me losing my wife. I never felt more lost as a parent even to this day. <br />
<br />
It's clear you already understand that this event has and will alter the balance of your life. My heart goes out to you and I can tell you what survives over time is the love you shared. It's a lifelong journey, but you adjust and survive and that is what your mother whats for you. The love does not disparate into thin air but sustains itself and grows, it can never be taken away! She lives on through you.

I lost my mother few months ago and it's the hardest most heartbreaking worst thing which could happen to me, she had cancer and I knew that she was in critical condition but still was hopping she will get better and took the bad decision not to go and stay with her sooner. I regret that and will for the rest of my live, I reached few days before she passed away as I leave in the UK but by then she was not anymore able to talk or even eat...felt so helpless and so angry at my self and still is with endless questions hunting me why did I leave it so long, I should have been there looking after her, loving her showing her how much I love her and cares about her and telling her she was the most important person in my life but I didn't .God knows why...I just hope she knows. See you are not the only one feeling that down, I hope that some day we will find peace, It's very hard for me to talk about it to my friend & family and can't help but start crying as soon as I mention my Mother, still I believe that if death leaves a heartbreak no one can heal, love leaves memories no one can steal...

I lost my mother in August of '09. I was only 19. I know how hard it is to lose someone so important. I know it's annoying to hear this, but over time, it starts getting better.

The same exact thing happined to my mother...except i was only 5 and her and my dad didant live togather. I still felt the paion of it though...im 17 now and i still remember her and i making reefe baskets and gone for walks in the woods and....i can feel it right now actually...just lookin back.....i remember when me her and my dad all went to the ocean somewhere and we all had alot of fun...i remember my dad had this big giant movie camera and was recording me and her finding sea shells in the ocean...and just a couple years back when i still lived with my dad we were cleaning out the ba<x>sement one day and found that tape...i still have it but havent watched it since that day back in the summer of 07 because....its...its just too much. but i know how it feels to loose your mother...when ever i see a kid with a mother i just think (why.....)

Hi,<br />
<br />
I can understand your feelings, though I am in my late thirties and didn't had a single comfortable day after my mother (though I do not acknowledge her departure at all), I can feel how it must be for you. Believe me, she is much closer to you now and is watching all your actions, as the bodily limitations are no more applicable on her, she is more swift with the movements and covering you from all which is not good for you. Only thing now you have to learn is a new medium of communication, as the mode and language has changed. Now your feelings and intentions will speak, instead of the words or actions.<br />
<br />
All you kiddish tricks will not work with her any more, as she is reading your mind, heart and soul.<br />
<br />
Chetnya

your very lucky because you got a longer time to spend with your mom....my mom died when i was 12 so you should be happy..........

Thank you for helping me cry.

Embrace every memory and live in her honor and when you fall upon grief, catch yourself and remember her laughter; her happiness. <br />
<br />
Much Peace to the Family.

Embrace every memory and live in her honor and when you fall upon grief, catch yourself and remember her laughter; her happiness. <br />
<br />
Much Peace to the Family.

iam so sorry <br />
<br />
u should be strong <br />
<br />
and u should always ask urself wht she wants u 2 do now .<br />
<br />
u will find the answer inside u <br />
<br />
God wih u <br />
:)

My mother died in '08. I never had a good relationship with her. She was abusive and crazy, and she nearly killed my little brother several times. Every five years or so, my dad thought it would be therapeutic for us to see her, and spend some time with her; even though he had full custody of us, and a permanent, full restraining order against her, good for 500 yards. She eventually got her life together, but it was too late. I had gone through the "Why?" phase, past the "I HATE her!" phase, and settled into the "We can't have a relationship now" phase. I didn't even know I loved her. I was somewhat uncomfortable with her presence during my graduation, and couldn't get close to her during my brother's graduation (it's a miracle he graduated, considering his mental and intellectual state; but he actually did better in school than I did). It was only in 2008, when I had gone to the store with my college refund money to buy some clothes and other stuff, that I found out - after I came back, and was all happy, - that she had died. Apparently, she awoke, got a glass of water, pretended to smoke an imaginary cigarette (all typical for her), and went back to sleep. She had some kind of birth defect, which left her with smaller-than-normal blood vessels in her head; and the doctors say that her blood-pressure spiked, shooting a blood vessel that was all the way down by her heart through her lungs, and she basically coughed herself to death. I couldn't believe how hard I took it! This woman, who left me to eat her makeup... who let me get kidnapped out of her arms... who let me wander across two busy streets, and a construction site... who smacked me around on a semiregular basis, and gave me bloody noses... who banged me into furniture, and "accidentally" burned me with cigarettes when she was angry... who starved, infected, burned, choked (with a sandwich), dropped, and in other ways tried to kill my brother when he was a baby... this woman, who tried to turn me against my dad, when I was older; and threatened to have her boyfriend kill my dad and kidnap us... she was my mother, and I was crying over her... composing freeverse poetry for her... bargaining with my rich monster of a grandfather, to pay for her cremation and the mailing of half her ashes... taking two weeks off from work, to go down to Gautier and visit her church for a memorial service... hauling her remaining belongings from her boyfriend's trailer back to our apartment... and I cracked. I went crazy. I'm still crazy.<br />
<br />
I don't know what my point is, except that I know how you feel and it will eventually get better with time. You can't dwell on how her death made you feel. Think of all the happy times you had with her, and all the wonderful aspects of your life that you shared with her. Make your life meaningful and happy, because that's what she would want for you. It's hard at first, but it gets better.

My mother died suddenly when I was a small child. I can relate to the feeling of grief combined with fear. It was so sudden and traumatic that it became like a nightmare I tried to put out of my mind. I try and think about the happy aspects of her being alive rather than the fear and trauma of her death. I keep a picture of her when she was a child on my dresser, proudly holding a book she had read.

Hello everyone!<br />
<br />
I hope this new years comes to you all and gives comfort to those who has lost a loved one in the past! I just found out that my Dad had another small stroke and he has internal bleeding somewhere in his body! As for me I just went through another surgery Friday the 7th. This makes the 13th surgery in almost 2 years on my kidneys. <br />
<br />
I know about loss and grief. If anyone needs an ear let me know! I am willing to listen to you all! If I don't reply on here you can email me at j_bird742@yahoo.com. I check it more often than I do my msn email. Just keep in mind that there are people out there that will listen and let you talk, like me. <br />
<br />
Sincerely,<br />
<br />
Mishael

Hi... I just came across this by searching for some kind of support..<br />
I am 21 years old, and my mother passed away a few weeks ago... Dec 12, 2010. She had a stroke, and was unconscious until she took her last breath. Although my brother couldn't do it, I stayed with her in the hospital, holding her hand until she was gone. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. Nothing is the same, everything makes me miss her and I feel an emptiness that is unexplainable. I don't know what to say but that you're not alone, I feel the pain you feel. I loved my momma more than anything. <br />
I hope you find strength in friendships, I hope you are inspired to live and be happy like she wants you to. I believe she's always watching over you, like my momma is watching over me.<br />
xoxo