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Life Is Definately Different...

My mother died early 2010. It was the WORST day of my life, and i've had some super bad days. I was chatting on the phone with her when she slipped in her jacuzzi and hit her head and drown. I went to check on her and of course found her. I was screaming and crying and just didn't know how to continue living. Of course, life keeps going whether you like it or not, and I had to face everyday since knowing that she's not going to call, and that I can't go visit her. I'm only in my 20's and sometimes i feel different and alone. I really don't feel like many people know what i'm going through, and sometimes that's all i need is someone to understand. It just sucks. A lot.
zipper42 zipper42 26-30 136 Responses Jul 7, 2010

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Hi all, just like to say sorry for your loss
My mom died 4 days ago, she was diagnosed with liver cancer a week b4 she died.
I have 5 siblings from my mom and we were all there when she passed, im the second oldest, when we were told of her condition i done reasearch to prepare myself for whats to come, the week she was in hospital i spent alot of my time in the background, didnt no what to say to her, knowing what symptoms she could possibly have and seeing them happen threw me, i wasnt quiet prepared, it was hard coz 4 of my siblings are younger than me and ive always been strong for them with whatever they go through, as i did when my mom took ill with cancer, i cant sleep, b4 my mom passed she slept alot as the end came a day b4 she died she jumped up pleading for help which keeps me awake and plays on my mind ALOT we couldnt do anything, the nurse kept giving her medication to calm her down.
i almost feel nothing, kinda numb but i have little crying bursts here n there and they are very short. Im confused and cant remember things all the time and feel like im going crazy, im dealing with these strange feelings alone and dont no how to deal with them. I feel like nobody understands whats happening to me as my siblings have broken down n yet i seem normal. I feel bad and confused as to why im not doing the same.
I feel angry at the world for getting on with things (living) but knowing thats wat we all have to do.... :-(

My mom died in 2009. I realize that She is always inside of me since I came from her. I have all that she gave me of herself, inside and out. A life, this body that gave my spirit a physical body to live in, her experiences living in this crazy world, her one of a kind love. Basically, she lives in me and is always there. I try to be as true to her memory as I can and use what she gave me to go on living the life that she have me. Spirits never die. Hang in there.

I'm so sorry,I have no idea what your going through. But around 2 year ago I lost a cousin who was a lot like a brother to me so I definitely can relate to you in some ways. If you can find anyone to talk to just hit me up on chat xx

life will get easier, trust me!

My Mom died a year ago after a year long battle with stomach and esophageal cancer. She weighed 76 pounds when she died. My faith has kept me going. I'm through the grief I guess but I miss her more as time goes on. Her little girl left with her ... I am the woman that remains. I lost my Dad too ...years earlier. I am nobody's child anymore. That's how it feels to me. I'm lonely most if the time. We were best friends and I'm trying to learn to live without her in my life. It's hard because she was such a large part of it. I'm sorry for everyone on here. I know something of your pain.

I can understand how you feel. My mom and I were best friends, my sisters estranged from her and i. She passed away this past Thanksgiving and I am lost without her. The girl I was went away with her. I want yself back, bt i cry at every little thing. My fiance lost his mom the same year on Valentines Day. He cant handle me being upset. I am disabled and he doesnt want me getting sick. I feel no one understands my loss. I just try and take t day by day, accept mself and how I feel. I feel often alone. So you are not alone....

I'm 12 and my mom died November 14, 2012. Worst day of my life. I came home from school and there was a note on the table. it said Don't go in my room. I guess she didn't want me to see her dead. I just wish I hugged her extra before school. I was screaming. I was up till 4 in the morning. now I am suffering with depression. I feel lonely without her.

I'm sorry.

I know exactly how you are feeling. My mother died in 2010 also, when I just turned 27- she died of cancer only a month after diagnosis and I never got to say goodbye because she wound up coding in the hospital (where I also work). It is true that no one knows how you feel until you go through something like this. I know I could not understand until it happened to me. I have also been different since it happened, probably more seclusive...but at the same time I try to enjoy every minute of being with my family and not to hold grudges because you never know what will happen.

iam sry2hear this/ bt who can fight against was god"s will/my mom died i know how u feel she died´╗┐ one year ago i was crying now i have just a dad but i want a mom to hug me right NOW i am crying:::}:coz mother is very important,,,

Im so sorry for you, I wanna give a big big hug! I do understand ur feelings,my mom died 18 days ago...I miss her a lot, life has changed and never will be the same<br />
She will always be with you,watching u,guiding u, please be strong!

hello everyone i would just like to say thank you for your time of comments. it has been 31/2 years for my mom passing and i tell you all it never ends{all the pain} i think that for me keeping busy helped but doesnt really solve anything. if i could give any advice id say to enjoy the memories you have when she was liv ing that is sure what my mom would want. thanks everyone hope you all find peace:-}

My mother passed away in July. I was her full time carer for ten years or so. Mum had chronic arthritis and many other medical problems which crippled her in her last years. I am her son, so for a man it was sometimes very difficult but we got thought it all OK.<br />
<br />
I found mum collapsed on her bed she had had a huge anerism which was enough to make the end very quick. The house is now so cold and empty with her sitting in her chair watching TV. She had a twinkle in her eye and a love of the one line joke. She is missed by everyone who knew her. Mum now rests in a better place with no pain.<br />
<br />
All I can say to other children no matter how old or young you are try to pick up the pieces of your life remember your loved one with respect and love remember the good times not the bad. For me now living in this shell of a house its time to move on. I wish you all well in the future

My mom died of cancer last may. She died at home surrounded by her friends and family. It was awful. That's all I have to say.

You never get over it, but it becomes less painful in time. <br />
You will always have your mother in you. It will come out in a thought " Mum used to say......." or when passing memorable places. Her genes are in you, your behaviour imprinted partly from her. The tragic way she died where you were a witness but unable to help must have affected you. Have you considered some professional counselling? <br />
I wish you peace.

my mom died when i was 12....and i'm 15 going on 16 on the 24th....and i'm totally different. me and sister don't speak anymore because she use to abuse my mom. me and my dad completely hate each other....and when my mom happened 6 day's after ...7th grade had started. and my whole 7th grade i was bullied. i got called 'dogface' 'ugly' '*****' and i just wanted to die. before my mom had died.....she was an alcoholic ...and she would always go in these rages....she died of 'accidental overdose' WHICH is not what i believe because...she was suicidal ...and she took the same medication for over 2 year's and would take the same amount that she had to ALL THE SUDDEN , she just forgets? doesn't make sense. and another thing ...she was getting evicted ...and she had her stuff packed up ....but she had no where to go. ...her and my dad were divorced.....she could only see me on the sister didn't want anything to do with her. she would always hit my mom......she also would hit me too. so that's my story ...i'm sorry for your loss.

I lost my mum 7 years ago and I still miss her like crazy I lost my Dad. 5 years ago and somedays life just sucks

I don't know what it's like, but I hope this hug will help a bit. *HUG*

I would be curioused if there would be the other. A mother's death is one of the most important, and one of the most sad and shaking event. It must change everybody.

I hope you're ok now :)

That breaks my heart. My sincerest condolences and I pray you have gotten strength since then. Just remember life goes on."this too shall pass" xoxo

My mother was acting strangely when my older sister came to visit on Jan 17 2012. On the 18th we took her to local hospital thinking she might have had a stroke - er thought so too, until they did a cat scan - we found out she had a brain tumor - they sent her to Saint Louis University Hospital. The next day we found out she had stage 4 lung cancer. They did brain surgery to try an remove one tumor. We took her home a few days later. She started radiation. She had 4 treatments left and she collasped. They thought she was dehydrated but she never really came around like she should. It was the cancer too they said. We took her home and called hospice. We took her to ER on 2/23 - she wound up passing on 3/2 - it has been so hard. Everything has happened so so fast.<br />
I feel like kicking and screaming and throwing things. <br />
I wake up sometimes forgetting she is gone - that sucks.<br />
I live right next door to where my mom and dad live - it is so hard sometimes being there and she is gone. Plus stupid Poplar Bluff MO will not give out anxiety medicine unless you are dying.<br />
I wake up sometimes having severe panic attacks.<br />
Sometimes I think I am ok and all of the sudden it hits that she is gone.<br />
Now I am a Christian and know she was too and believe she is in Heaven but still it is hard.<br />
She was my best friend.<br />
My sister in law said I will tell you something no one else will (she lost her dad a year ago) it will never get easier.<br />
I believe her - it's been almost 3 weeks and it kills me


im so sorry! :(<br />
I dont even want to think of this day but i know its ineveitable. My parents are the best angels in the world and things just wouldnt ever be the same on earth ,<br />
I lost my little girl and losing a child is something NO PARENT should ever have to suffer. It blows! Gentle hugs

Awww. That sounds so terrible for you. I hope you get through this and know that you are not alone. Your mother is still alive in spirit. You will see her on the other side. Sorry to hear you are suffering.

Remember she is in a better place now , you need to be strong <br />
<br />
sometimes it may take you a little time ... been 7 years since mom passed away ,I watched her died in front of me may know the feeling <br />
<br />
don't like to remember her because I can not handle that idea ,I found out all you need is to count on your self , no matter how people support you or be by your side , when they don't u will get sad , don't let your feeling depends on others <br />
<br />
some people never understand you may find them cruel , cheer up life will goes on whatever you like it or not<br />
<br />
focus on your life , and I wish you all the luck

Wow... That story was simply heart-wrenching for me to read. I can't even find words to express my feelings right now. I am truly sorry.

My mother passed away in 2001. She became sick and lived with me for 8 years. I took care of her, she passed away at home. I found her in morning and tried to revive her, but I knew she was gone. I miss her everyday. I planted a garden in my yard for her with an angel in the middle. I also keep a picture of me and her at my bedside. I talk to her all the time, it makes me feel better. I still do special things that I always did for her. For her birthday I get balloons and write notes on them and let them go to heaven. My sister lives out of state so we do this together at the same time. I still go to her favorite candy shop and get the truffles she used to like and drop one off at the cemetary and I eat one and mail the rest to my sisiter. Those little things I do make me feel better. I do belive she is with me and someday in God's big plan I will be with her again. In the meantime I enjoy life because I know my mother wanted me to be happy. I know what you are going through.

thats so sad, im sorry. what a horrible thing. just remember, your mother's watching over you and she wants you to be happy. :D

Even if my mom is still with me, i fully understand... For me, i am always in fear of losing her because I dont know what i will do if that ever happens. I just cant take the thought of her gone. Sometimes i weep just with the thought of it. Right now I see white hairs on her head. It drives me crazy knowing she is old and one day she might be gone. I think i understand how you feel. I just hope you continue living and hopefully, you will have your own family in the future and u will become a mother/father yourself. and maybe having children someday, you will realize that in the future you would not be alone.

first of all, you CANT understand because you still have your mum so really, don't say you can understand! and secondly, that is a good piece of advice of someone who lost her mum at ****** 9, except of thinking about your mums death, ENJOY her presence and spend time with her and say that you love her. don't think about this that is so ****** stupid- for real

first of all, my advice was not for you but for the original poster. i'd like it if he/she was the one insulting my advice. don't listen if you think there is no wisdom in it but i assure you it was sincere and came from the heart.
secondly, my mom is with another man who is not my father and when that happened i felt like i lost her. so she is in this world physically but i dont feel much of her presence anymore. we dont have those mother-daughter moments and we live in separate homes far away from each other. but i think about all the memories of us in the past when i was a little child and that strikes a chord in me everytime and thinking that she might one day pass makes me so sad like im back to being that little child who had her mom by her side all the time and then losing her. and thinking that she might pass and there's this big gap in our relationship now makes me sadder. it's not easy to say i love you anymore because everything has changed between us but i try to. so thanks for the advice and your sarcasm but it's not that easy to "ENJOY her presence and spend time with her".

Sorry for your loss. My mother died while giving birth to me (so I;m told) so i never knew her or my father but moving on is the key. wallowing in the past wont help and the future will get better for you

I'm sorry that I didn't read all the comments... but my mother died just last year in September. It was really unexpected (a very easy operation that failed). <br />
<br />
How did you go on with your life? cause I just don't know how anymore... everyday I think about suicide... <br />
<br />
For the record, I'm only 23...

It's amazing. I JUST woke up from a nap and I had a short dream (again) about my mother passing! She died 12 years ago in her home as all the family and the preacher was by her side, assuring her and helping to meet Jesus on the other side. <br />
<br />
Losing one's mother is by far the most painful and difficult task to overcome. BUT she as your mom will always be there with us. Not in flesh, but as a spirit that will remind us of everything they taught!<br />
<br />
.....Never be afraid of tomorrow, Jesus is already there!