She Is My Greatest Gift, I Owe It All To Her

As I pen, tears flow freely as they have for 38 months, since my extraordinary, incomparable, best friend, greatest love, my cherished MOTHER joined God.
Her passing has left me among the living dead, the person I was when we were together long buried and replaced by someone I don't recognize. Intense grief counseling has proven futile, yet weeks ago I began anew seeking assistance with the help of a psychologist. Medication enables me to get out of bed even as I never want to and only want to join my family. My treasured angel was the last of my living relatives, today I have no kin anywhere in the world. Family was, is, will be the core of my being, my reason to breathe.

My adored parents, Holocaust survivors, were the very essence of motherhood and fatherhood. Their unselfishness, devotion, dedication, honesty, courage and heroism, unmatched. I have never heard an untoward word said about either my worshipped mother or beloved father. Even as they lost most of their family in the Holocaust, they did not allow their suffocating pain to interrupt their love for me. Our home was always filled with kisses, admiration, songs and enormous respect for each other. I never walked into our home whether living with my sacred parents or on my own that music didn't fill every corner. To this day my passion for music is a gift from my adored parents.

Even when funds were scarce, my greatest loves ensured that we lacked for nothing, nothing that mattered and mattered only our love for each other.
My memories are filled with my blessed mother's smiles, my handsome father's gorgeous melodic voice and his whistling song after song. I had a childhood filled with nurturing and always was made to feel I was the center of my treasured parents' lives. All that I am, all that I have, I owe to all to my incomparable parents, to a unique mother, unique father.

As an only child, I didn't have to share my parents' love and today miss it more by the second. I have been visited by chronic loneliness, by suicidal thoughts running rampant, by a proud desire and need to reunite. My feelings are numbed to others, my ability to care for or about anyone but my family including my four-legged children does not exist. But for my adored children, I would long have ended unrelenting suffering. I can not get used to being alone in the world, separated from my adored father and magnificent mother.

My darling mother's and father's hearts are unmatched, their goodness and kindness toward family, friends and strangers overwhelming. My parents were only happy when giving, when doing for others, when making others' lives happier. My adored mother is known for her volunteerism and charitable contributions as is my heroic father, as they are remembered for their sense of humor. Between my glorious parents' numerous contributions to others and to me, and their unparalleled honesty, I have impossible shoes to fill and never will.

Once upon a time I was the richest person anywhere and everywhere, I had invaluable treasures in the form of my adored mother and father, auntie and grandparents who left too soon, gone too soon. Once upon a time life mattered and was filled with excitement. Today is the 14th, my exceptional mother passed on the 14th, I am devastated more by the minute.

DARLING ANGELS, I give thanks that you suffer no longer, that you are at peace at last and pine that SOMEDAY WE'LL BE TOGETHER.
                                                                                                                I MISS YOU SO, I LOVE YOU SO
                                                                                                                                your grateful and proud daughter

musicalityny musicalityny
61-65
3 Responses Jul 14, 2010

wow we never really are the same again are we? My mom was wonderful, talented, loving and always giving also and she died on Nov 14 6 weeks ago.<br />
<br />
So i cry, feel lonely and can't find anyone to match her. I love music also but don't feel like playing my keyboard much. I so miss her and her smiling face and advice.<br />
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Lord have mercy, i feel your pain and its alot like mine. My mum was from scotland. <br />
<br />
Hugs Debbie

Hi,<br />
<br />
Life is like this, though I don't have a words to explain my situation but similar to what you explianed happened, when I lost my mother, after that i left my well paying job come back home to see that no one to whom I can coorelate myself with or with whom I can share my heart like I use to share with my mother. life is completly devastated but now learning to live on my own.<br />
<br />
Regards you, I can say that you have one brother on whom you can rely upon and can discuss or open your heart if you wish to.<br />
<br />
Regards,<br />
<br />
Chetnya

May God bless you.