My World Will Never Be Complete Again

Twas Aug 14, 520 AM, my husb woke me up to hand over a call fr my bro, he just told me ' mom passed away'. shock, disbelief, maybe twas a nightmare, i would wake up and find everything was fine, my bro asked me to leave immediately. The trip to the airport, the flight, then the ride home, passed off in a daze. It was only when i entered my street and saw the crowd outside my home did i accept that I had lost the most imp person in my life. She lay there cold, waiting for me to arrive and have a last glimpse, her day used to begin at 5am and she wdnt rest until 1 am the next day and here she was lying oblivious to time and everything else, she had made coffee and bfast for everyone that morn. The regrets, feelings of guilt will never go away, havent been able to cry properly since that day, maybe there was something i cd ve done that wd ve prolonged her life, mom never believed in health check ups, she believed that someone with an active lifestyle taking care of the house and garden was fit. Maybe i shd ve insisted and forced her to come to the doctor, i last spoke to her 2 days before her death, on the previous day, i was busy at work and thot i wd call her up on 14th aft, God never gave me that chance, Tis been a month, we are all absorbed in our work and stuff occasionally remembering mom, but it hurts to see dad;s loneliness, unexpressed, unspoken. She died in his arms in the car enroute to the hospital, how can he ever erase that memory ! dad is with me now, away from his home which he and mom shared, Never thought the absence of one person would change the essence of a home so much, I cannot bear to let him go back there and live with just memories, The ceremonies were so painful, while she was alive, she could never manage to come to my place, my city and live iwth me.
Why is it that we dont value people and relationships while they are alive and are condemned to a lifetime of regret when we lose all thats precious.
Momwasmyworld Momwasmyworld
36-40, F
1 Response Sep 19, 2012

Don't feel like you could have stopped it. That's the hardest part having no control.i was with my mom to the end and I could do nothing but watch her die.