It's Tough

my mother died from ovarium cancer last year. things happened so fast as she was hospitalized for only 2 weeks before she passed away. i was 16 years old and an only child of a single mother.
i remember feeling so lost and so out of control. i still do every now and then. nobody care about me the way she did. she was the only person i trusted and now i can't even see her or hear her voice.. i'm not a native english speaker so i don't know how to express what i'm truly feeling so you would understand. All i know is that i feel so alone right now i need people who understand what i'm going trough to tell me how to get through this.
An Ep User An EP User
2 Responses Jan 11, 2013

I lost my mom to ovarian cancer. I thought I was young 28 but you are so much younger. I know how you feel. I wish we wernt in the motherless club. I close my eyes and think of her when I get lonely and sad. I think of her baking in the kitchen, singing in the morning, and how she always waved goodbye at the window until you were out of site. I miss her, I hold her in my heart. It hurts but I'd rather have the hurt then lose it. I hope you can live your life but always keep her close. To move on doesn't mean losing her. It means you keep her close and live everyday like she was still alive. I know it will get better. Listen to your heart. Her words of advise and love will follow you forever. I cry when I need to and I also write a diary to her. Telling her whats going on. I hope when I'm 80 I'm still writing to her.

Hi there, almost half a year ago my mom went thru a biopsy to check for lung cancer. After the procedure, she couldn't breathe by herself anymore and within 24 hours she passed away. Everything happened so quickly. At that time, I really wished I knew what was happening, I wished I could have spent more time with her. Even half a year after her death, I still cry everytime I think about her. But I knew, my mom would like me to move on with my life. She was the type of woman that wouldn't want her loved ones to cry because of her. That's why I told myself I will live my life as happy as I could, because one day when the time is right, I will be able to see her again to share with her my wedding, my kids and my life she missed out. I have to say it's not easy, but if to find things to do to occupy your life like get a new job or find new hobbies, you can fill that emptiness. I do have a picture of her in my wallet, so I can see her and talk to her whenever I miss her much.