My Beloved Maa

I lost my dearest mother on 5 Jan 2013. I am in shock and still can't believe that this has happened to me. My mother has been my pillar, my inspiration, my friend, philosopher and guide. I would call her everyday numerous times just to talk even though there was nothing to talk. She had sacrificed her whole life for us but my heart aches to think that being her daughter I have not being able to help her the day she died and I can never forgive myself.

She was ill but she has been so for all her life. She would never go to a doctor even after continuous coaxing from us. I visited her the day before she died she was having some respiration problems but none of us ever imagined that it was so serious. We discussed about consulting doctors and hospice care but she never gave us the time. The next day she was gone and we were in shock. I was not with her at that time .............I was with my in-laws. My life has changed. I think I can never get over my loss. I can never be happy again. Memories haunt me. I feel like dying but I have a family and a small kid. I just want to stop thinking about her. I dreamt of doing so much for her but I never had the chance. The if-onlys and should haves and could haves haunt me. I am lost ...........lost without my mother.
beingafriend beingafriend
31-35
8 Responses Jan 17, 2013

I know how you feel. I lost my mother in October 2013 and i missed her passing by 10 miniutes. I now miss having a cuppa and a chat with her and shopping ect and part of me feels lost and heart broken as she was only 72 and wanted to live. I am not the same person and have lost my zest. Every Sunday i feel the pain more and i try to carry on for her sake. I wish i could go into the spirit world and see her.

Hey Crow50 sorry for your loss. My Mom was only 60 and it was not her time but she left us. I still cry..........when i walk down the street i remember walking down with her , i remember chatting with her for hours. I remember every moment I spend with her. PLease take care be happy for your mom.

I am going through same phase of life. I lost my mother on 21st Jan'13. I still can't believe that she is no more with us. I don't know whether I can regain my happiness or not. This incident has created such a vacuum in my life.

But I m sure that she is watching me from heaven and her blessings are with me.

I can feel how it feels when you have such an unexpected & biggest loss of your life.

Your mother asked me to tell you to be strong and to do what is needed for you and your daughter. One day everything will make sense. Remember this.... Follow the light and respect the darkness.

hi Greeko.............I have a son. Just wanted to know are you a psychic or a healer because I would like to know if you are.I felt so good when u said that my mother wanted me to be strong . I would like to know more from you.

Hi, I lost my mother on 13 January 2013. I am her only daughter. I understand your pain, you feeling lost and also the guilt at not being there for your mum. My mum suffered for 24 hours before I went to see her again. The hospital didn't call us, I am so angry at them. I was there when she passed away, after many hours of suffering. I can't describe to you how painful it was to see my mother suffer. I did not want to let her go. I did not want to say goodbye to my mum but most of all, I did not want to see her suffer anymore. It is the hardest thing ever and when they leave, there is a big empty space in our hearts. Now I'm thinking I have to do what my mother would like me to do. It would make her very unhappy if I continue to be miserable because of her death. I choose to believe she is happier in heaven and also with my father again. She is happy but us left on earth are very unhappy and grieving but you will get through this. You will never forget your mum but you will get through. Do what she would want you to do. Love your child as she loved you. Pass on her legacy. I know that's no comfort - nothing we can do or say can bring our mother, our best friend back into our lives. I wish you all the best. Maria.

Hi Maria .............it seems as if we are sailing on the same boat. I just want to say that feel free to share your thoughts and pain with me as sharing really eases your mind .............your kind words has eased mine. Yes I will try to give love to my child and to people around me as she always used to do. She was like an angel always helped people in need . I want to be like her . You see my only regret is that we never got the opportunity to take her to a hospital. It happened so fast we could never think of anything..........we were so unexpected. I know my mother would always want me to be happy never cry and be sad for her so I am gradually trying to recover. I know that your mother is also watching you from heaven and so let us all try to be like our mothers as I believe and pray to God that one day we all will be united with our loved ones. I have added you as my friend.

My mom passed on Nov 10,2013 a part of me is gone with her forever. I have no children, so I carry on until I can no longer and I will carry on and listen to her in my mind everyday. I hear her every step and breath I take. She is here with me right next to me. It is a miracle to have had her so close in the flesh and now a miracle to have the faith and to believe that she is with Jesus and they are with me and so is my Dad and my beloved uncle they are right here, I feel this and this why I can write this to you. Look for the signs they are there my mom wrote in her journal her entire life, every single day. I found it all, even the year of my birth and the day she bore me. THe hurricane came and took her away a few days later. She was never sick a day in her life and never showed the pain she was in from being a criple she cringed and limped and always keep going I can only pray to God to be half the woman my mother is and will alway be, she is at the table of our Lord Jesus Christ. All our mothers are there for they have given us all of themselves and their love is eternal.

Thank you ellenow for your kind words. I can totally understand. My mother was my inspiration and best friend. She sacrificed her whole life for us and others. She helped everybody around her even if she was sick. To me she was a saint always worried about others but never took care of herself. The only thing i regret everyday is that I could not do enough or take care of her enough that I wanted to . I never got the time. It was so sudden and unexpected . I know i can't fight destiny but i try to forgive myself but i can't. memories keep coming back to me and i feel restless . I always felt my whole life that my mother was an angel. She was the most humble, self-sacrificing, and kind person I have ever known . I feel so lucky to be her daughter but i wanted to do more for her so I cry and ask God for not giving me that chance . I know if ever i could be half the person she was my life would be blessed. Ellenow even though you don't have a child please don't feel alone ........I can give you one humble suggestion you know you can always adopt a child . Bringing up a child and seeing them growing up will make your pain less. Please write to me whenever you feel like..........I can be your friend.

i am so sorry

God broke your heart to prove to you he only takes the best
If love alone could have saved her she would have never died
My favriot quotes
I know exactly how you are feeling my mum was called home a little over a month ago
And I know it's hard I too am having trouble it's easier said than done have you
Gotten any signs from her I am praying for a. Dream of my mum... I don't know if we
Will ever feel better but be strong and you are a amazing daughter she
I wows that you loved her and trust me she is looking
Down on you right now add me as a friend I am new here and don't know how to add
You

Thank you so much for your kind words........it feels good to see that someone understands you and believe me only someone who has experienced the same can understand you. I am blessed indeed to have a very kind and great mother but now she is gone. I have family, my father, my sister who loves me and also going through the same agony right now but trying their best to get over the pain. I am too trying but sometimes feel lost and in tremendous pain..........cant seem to control. Still trying. I would love to have you as a friend and together try to get through this difficult phase as I too believe that one day we all are going to get reunited with our loved ones who have left us.

i total understand youi know it is hardyto talkabout it.my mom passed away on october27 .13yrsago . butIknow that y our mom is watching over you keeping. you safe i can just imagin what my mom is saying about me