It Doesn't Feel RightI was 12 when my mum was diagnosed with bowel cancer and secondary liver cancer, it was Friday 18th December 2009. It destroyed out Christmas. It destroyed our new year. It destroyed our everything. She started her chemo in January and it was starting to make her sick, so they put her on a new course which reduced the cancer cells by 60% in the bowel and 40% in the liver. They then recommended a new course all together which will blitz the cancer completely. But they said you'll need to wait till after summer to receive it. It was my 13th birthday, my brothers 21st birthday and my mum and dads wedding 25th wedding anniversary during that summer. It was a big year. We had planned going to Florida, but that was destroyed because my mum was getting really sick over the summer and was unable to fly. The doctors told her she didn't have long to live. My mum choose not to tell me this because I was 13 and it would destroy me. It was a Sunday. Sunday the 29th August, 2010. I woke up and went downstairs to watch a movie called Minute men. This movie was about people who could travel forward in time exactly 3 minutes and change what was going to happen. This was ironic because if I had this device, I would of found out my mummy was lying upstairs. My dad came home from golf, and he went upstairs. About half a minute later an ambulance pulled up outside and my dad shouted to send them upstairs. I did as I was told and I heard one of them say to my dad that he can't stay here while they are doing their job so he headed downstairs. I was at the bottom looking up. It was the second most horrible sight I've ever seen. My dad crying. It actually pained me. About a moment later the paramedics came into the living room saying the words that changed my life. 'We couldn't get her.' I still had no idea what was going on and I had to have my dad explain to me. I was actually destroyed. And there is never a day that passes when I don't think about my mummy. I'm 15 now, and I still call her mummy because I lost her when I was a little innocent girl who hadn't found her place in the world yet. It's been the hardest 875 days if my life. I count every day. I cherish every memory. I miss my mummy so much I feel that no body understands me. :(
It just doesn't feel right.
ripmummy 13-15, F 2 Responses 0 Jan 20, 2013