Life...someones Sick Joke!

Do you ever sit alone and think? think about your life, all the good and bad memories. I feel like i have missed a lot in life, passed up a lot of opportunities. i really wish i would have done some things they might be small things but it doesn't matter. like i wish i would have had more fun did more things while i was "young and stupid". I was never stupid, i am a very responsible organized person. I have been like this since i can remember. Why does everything have to be perfect its not for public its for me. I do like being independent but it gets hard when people depend on you for everything. I'm so sick of doing things for people, that might sound mean but i have been helping people all my life its like what i do. You need someone to babysit for you...sure, you need a ride somewhere... yeah. Its always the same thing. I know some people do like me and don't want to use me. I am busy most the time so i don't really hang out a lot and its sad because i want to i just am tired from my life. I cannot fix the past but i will try and think before i decide to do anything, make sure i have some fun before its to late. I think about the future and it seems so far away, but too close. I don't want time to fly and it has, my life is like a huge blur. What am i going to do with my life i haven't really thought of it. I want to stay in college forever, i like learning new things anyway and work isn't to hard. I do not know why we are here, all we do is deal with bullshit and work and then deal with more bullshit and then what happens? We all die get buried, burned or whatever but our "souls" go nowhere that's it life is over. Its sad to think about it but its true. I will live my life to the fullest before that happens.