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Difficult?

I don't even know if anybody knows me. If i were someone else i wouldn't want to get to know me, or maybe i would at first. I'm very submassive, which attract people whatever their intentions are, but in the end i'm alone. The dominent/submassive game of sociality tires me out.

I guess that's the way things are, the strong needs the weak ones to stay strong. If everybody was strong no body would be, because no one would know the difference. I'm interested in others, who they are and what they believe in, what motivates their actions. But i'm scared of people interested in me, because that's just wrong. If i were anybody else i wouldn't be interested at all. So it's just a forced feeling that it's not genuine.

I guess that's why i'm difficult, among other things. A lot of other things.

I admire those who make up their minds about something and complete it, because i don't get the process. One day i grow passion about something, making it my life's goal and then to turn it around the next day not even remembering why i cared in the first place. I constantly make up new beliefs about everything, never standing my ground. Maybe because that nothing is absolute. Not even fact. The earth was flat several hundred years ago, that was a fact back then. We make our own reality, and our beliefs is what guides us. And i believe that no body knows nothing about anything, exept ourselfs.
Imjustalone Imjustalone 22-25, M Jun 17, 2012

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