Frustration. Im Over People Saying "i Just Dont Get You..."im exausted. im so focused and single minded that i've driven so many people away. The idea of a relationship.. even alot of friendships (ive had soo many bffs) seems restricting. The idea of "our relationship is the greatest thing on the planet" make me laugh/really irritated. Has anyone SEEN the great wall? The GRAND CANYON? A BEE??? Bungee jumped?? Hitchhiked nude? (in a trusted community) Has anyone tried new foods??
I want to go and live. Experience. Enjoy. Cry, cry alot.. cry over stupid ****. Cry about being abandoned by the side of the road, by being ditched by a traveling partner. I want to laugh, laugh until I pee (I have cousin who does that, shes great!) Laugh, alot. I want to be afraid, and I want to make love. Passionate, intense, perverted, risky, uninhibited, fetish sex. And the next night do it again... and do it again for a week. And then wake up and have sweet, tender sex. Were we sweat and I might cry, and we cuddle, and get take-out and eat it in bed.
I want to LIVE. And it's very lonely. I am not perfect. &I def. wasn't born out of the womb saying "I know what I want. And I'm going for it. And damned be you all if your not coming for the adventure..." No way. I get scared and shy alot when I travel around and put my self out there.
ALOT of the time. ALOT... but damnit.. I want to live. I am a bit fragile, I cry when I watch the notebook and uncnciously say "like" in every other sentence. I am a bit shy with guys.. once bitten twice... but damnit. I want to live. Beyond my comforte zone. Beyond small ****.
As in.. no more trips to the theaters and knotts! LETS SWIM WITH SHARKS, you can do it in flordia pretty easily, LETS HIKE THE A.T TRAIL, I've had friends who do it...
Yes. This is me. This is me.. [:
rant's.. end [: