On Top of Bipolar, Social Anxiety, Etc. Etc.

I don't make it easy to get to know me.  It's not that I don't want meaningful relationships; I do, so badly.  I just don't know how.  I'm socially inept, very shy, insecure.  People seem to think I'm weird.  I think I always say the wrong things, or I word things strangely, or maybe people just aren't interested in the stuff I talk about.  I really don't know.  All I know is that I have always felt alone and misunderstood, and I long to be so comfortable with someone that I can share everything with them, and completely be myself, and they'll accept me as is.  That's what I want.  Does anyone have that or is it just too unrealistic?  Is everyone an island, or just weirdos like me?
eromreven eromreven
32 Responses Nov 18, 2007

Everyone is different, but I can't lie, conversation is not my strong point.

Read my story mate !

its scary 2 think people wont accept u for who u r im the same got social anxiety n am a bad recluse hope ur better now eromreven

You're probably not as strange as you feel. Most people don't think about others all that much anyways, most people think about themselves. There's so many people in this world that we all fit somewhere. I hope you find your place and find a way to feel comfortable enough to be yourself. I used to be kinda shy and always worried what others thought of me until I realized that nobody thinks about me as much as I do. If people think I say strange things then cool. At least they'll remember me as interesting. <br />
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For most of my life (I'm 34 now) I have tried so hard to hide the fact that I'm bipolar. I have a man who loves me very much just the way I am and he's not ashamed of me and I'm not really ashamed of myself either so I'm not going to hide it anymore, I will try to educated people I meet on my condition. I've just been too lazy or afraid or something to tell people. I find that hiding it creates shame. The fact that it's like a big secret I have makes me feel like I should be ashamed but I'm not really. I don't really have anything to hide. If people get to know me and they think I'm odd they are probably right but I like me, they can suck it if they don't want to get to know me, cuz weird is cool. Stay cool.

I am exactly like you. I have days where I want to be around alot of people, but when I am, I tend to go unnoticed because I just dont know what to say to chime into a conversation. When I do say something, it comes out weird or not right or sometimes delayed because I get strange looks. So usually I sit back quiet. Because of this, I feel so dumb and I get depressed that I just want to stay home alone. I have a boyfriend now but I think he is starting to thing Im weird too. Its like the words are perfect in my head, sound right to me when they come out, but distorted to the person listening. Im in tears now thinking Im affraid I have some kind of mental issue.

i feel the same way. I've been "shy" for as long as i can remember'it's always been really hard for me to make and keep friends because i'm always second guessing them and myself like if they really like me or are they just my friends because they feels sorry for the socially awkward,quiet girl. I also have a horrible time starting and keeping conversations going and i know i have try to make friends and be social or else i'm going to totally alone for the rest of my life but it's just sometimes seems impossible because of the horrible fear of rejection and me just being awkward,weird and unattractive.

I didn't think anyone else felt the same was as me until I just joined the site and started reading. I have been shy my whole life so it was always hard to make friends. I am horrible at starting conversations or even keeping them going. I just feel awkward. I only had a couple friends throughout school who I thought would be there for me all the time - and as time keeps passing the people who were my best friends disappeared. I feel so alone.. I have no girlfriends to talk to or hangout with, And specially now being in college, I made no friends there either. I try so hard but I just feel like no one could like me

you are not weird at all we all have something to deal with i felt like you years ago now with meds i feel fine i have ocd and anxiety i accept ppl as ther are hugs vinny

I recommend reading this:<br />
<a href="http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Have-Aspergers-Syndrome/1656315" target="ep_blank">EP Link</a><br />
Then, if that sounds familiar, this:<br />

Looks like there are more people like you than you know =) and just as many eager to help, I'm an easy person to talk to just as another offer if you want to take it ^.^ x

I think the hardest thing is that other people don't understand, so when something happens that they don't know how to handle, they run away. I have a similar problem to you, and it's cause me abandonment issues and half the time I'm afraid to say anything because people are just going to end up hating me.

Everybody is an island, but most people are similar islands. Personally, I prefer discover new places!!!

(quoting) "I think I always say the wrong things, or I word things strangely, or maybe people just aren't interested in the stuff I talk about."<br />
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Step back and look from another perspective. They can't or won't try to understand what you've said, because it differs from most of what they're accustomed to. They're used nodding along with with the usually spoken collection of ambiguous phrases and references, "ya' knows" and filler fluff like "Well if you ask me" "To be perfectly honesty" "Well, I heard" .... and the list goes on. <br />
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English has a flexibility that is rare among languages. We can often rearrange elements of a sentence and still be perfectly correct. I venture a guess that you take advantage of this.<br />
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It is you that have interesting things to share, not they. Just because many of us are wired a bit differently doesn't mean we are wrong or defective. "In the country of the blind the one eyed man is king."

You are definitely not alone. It seems, to me, that everyone feels this way at times. Some more than others. I always feel alone as well.

its not asif im the worlds worst looking person or least intresting its just that i never know the right thing to say or do for that matter im a social mess i havnt had a proper convosation with anyone.<br />
all i can say is your not alone.

That's wonderful to hear. Good luck to you!

After many years of feeling that way, I have recently got together with an old friend. We have known each other for 20 yrs, and after 10yrs of not seeing each other-we just met up again, and clicked! He had always had a crush on me, and although i didn't feel the same way, i DO now!!!! We have both had failed relationships, awful experiences and several children between us, but its working-and working VERY well!!!! <br />
He GETS me, my jokes, my comments, my ideals, and dreams for the future!!!<br />
Hes built like a bear, could snap me in half in a second-but i've never EVER felt so safe!!!! I wasn't looking for anyone special, and didn't expect anyone to EVER understand me-maybe thats why it finally happened!!??? <br />
Good luck, if it can happen for me....it can happen to anyone!!!

I Ditto everyone (almost) =D.

Some people aren't smart enough to recognize wisdom. Don't take it personally.

I am the exact same way.

****** if I know. (but yes, I agree)

Nope, just weirdos like you. The ones that are hard to get to know because they are complicated, unique, quirky, and unpredictable. And much more interesting. The boring dumb@$$es are much easier to get to know.

I feel the same way you do but people still refer and act like my friend. I always wonder if they really knew who I was would they wanted to have anything to do with me. And I get so surprise when people I don't know speak to me. I am thinking, "Do they really like me?" Also, I have a hard time saying Hello to people I know when we walk pass each other. I will contemplate whether or not I should say something to the person.

I feel the same way!

I hate saying it (all ducks in a row), but, me too.<br />
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Though in answer to your question, I have found one person who completely understands me, and I can be totally at ease and myself with, and it's wonderful. (happens to be my partner - which is good). <br />
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The only problem is, that I can tend to rely on him more than I should, so I feel I need to be careful of that. Also, I still really do want a 'girlfriend' that I can share things with, now maybe THAT'S the myth!... even if it's not, I rely on others' being the one's to 'chase' me to get close, (just because I don't know what to do/say to make friends with them) and most people aren't willing to do that..... vicious cycle, because, everyone seems really shy when it comes to developing close friendships - I suppose that just means it needs to happen naturally. I don't really know.<br />
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Anyway, I know how you feel, aside from the feelings of inadequacies, it's just plain lonely.....

We couldn't be more alike. That's exactly the way I feel...

I'm the same way.

I've just joined and picked a random story. You are different, vive la difference. Be you. Dont feel you hace to 'conform'. I dont know you and if I did I may not like you. So stuff me! Why would what I think necessarily be right? Hea, you might not like me!

i always feel like an outsider.. and if I'm not into some things i can't act like i am... not a pretender .. i tried but couldn't last long.

i have the same thing.. i talk wierd, think weird, look weird. nine months at college and i havent made any friends- not even hung out with any one. it's too hard for the "normies" to be around me, i guess

You are certainly not alone, I feel that exact same way. I think it's very common for people with psychological issues to think this way. Part of it is that we ARE different, quite a bit different from most people. Which is good in that we are unique but makes us feel like we are always on the outside. One thing that I keep in mind is that some of the most brilliant people who've ever lived were bipolar or were thought to have likely suffered from the illness. Look it up on wikipedia, it lists tons of famous bipolar people. There's such a fine line between madness and genius.

i would like to be that person ... because they would be a very lucky person 8D