Why When You Say The Words Out Loud Disabled To You Feel Shame?

The doctor says to me "the chronic pain in your body has left you tired and just plain wore out". We will make you as comfortable as possible and therapy will help. Does the pain take your mind? Sometimes yes it does. Not well educated except in the school of hard knocks called life,and I have lived it.
My life has been one whirl wind after another, and even thou I have had a lot of bumps in the road it has been a fun ride.
Now I feel like part of me is dead already, I don't know about the rest of you, but this scares me, I mean really. 
I have always been the go to person for everybody, friend and family. What can I be to any one any more? A half way want to be writer with hopes I might help some body, I don't know? I can't even say it out loud, and when I am forced to say DISABLED I cry, as I am crying now. 
Lord give us strength as the journey unfolds, help to manage the pain, give us joy.