Feel Like Im Going Nowherei decided to write about this because at the moment i am feeling extremely disappointed in myself and i need to get it out somewhere.
Last year i went through a pretty severe bout of depression, and everything fell apart. Before this i was a good student and friend; a good daughter and was working towards something, even if i didn't know exactly what that was.
Now that i am out of the depression, i just cant seem to pull myself back up to where i was before. I am failing or almost failing most of my courses, i dropped off of the gymnastics team, and i cant seem to pick myself up and get myself going again. i constantly just find myself sitting around thinking about how worthless i am and how im never going to get anywhere.
Another thing that weighs heavily on my mind is that all my friends are applying for colleges and getting in and are all excited about it, and theyre getting jobs and cars and scholarships and everything..and im not doing any of that, and i feel like im missing out on a huge part of my life..but i feel like its too late to do anything about it and im very disappointed in myself because i know that if i try i can do those things.
For example, i am supposed to be doing a paper and project right now..but i am in a "im worthless at everything" mood and i dont think that i can get it done on time, which puts my passing grade in serious jepoardy. I just feel like its pointless to try.
Maybe i need professional help to get myself going.
Megalomaniac 16-18, F 3 Responses 0 Jan 1, 2008