I Want To...
So I'm intoxicated in my kitchen listening to the same song on repeat.
Three years ago today my best friend died of the swine flu. [supposedly] ¬¬
and it got me thinking.. about him.. our lives.. our conversations.. our plans of our future.. and where I find myself now.
I love my children. but this wasn't on my ****** list. Washin dishes as a housewife .. 'bout to go through a divorce.. with so much uncertainty ahead.
We were supposed to be great. The both of us. Do something meaningful with our lives. How the **** did I get here? So unfulfilled and wasted.
I wanted to help the hungry..the thirsty.. the needy.. the poor.. the sick.. the oppressed.. the suffering. I have such a passion for it.
and here I am .. washing dishes.. cleaning counters... stressin over laundry.. in this fragile traumatized state of mind.
I used to be such an extrovert. So social and carefree and determined to make a difference..
I want to break out of this.
I owe him that much. I can't let my life ... this valuable time .. to go to nothing..
Cosreal 31-35, F 0 Sep 25, 2012