I had it all planned today... My sister is in surgery, right now, getting a tumor removed from her neck. The good news is that it's not cancerous... but she was afraid, as this is her first surgery ever. I had went to therapy and planned to go straight to the hospital afterward, staying there for moral support. I wanted to be there for her, when she wakes up, all smiles!
But... when I got to the waiting room, there were over forty people waiting there too. Two women looked at me and laughed. I felt the panic rising, my mother and Mr. Bernard saw that I was ready to cry, and he drove me back home. Damn... I feel so very useless. I know, it's going to take some time to overcome my anxiety disorder, I am in therapy for it. We've just only begun on it, today... and my new therapist came up with a cool idea, of me going to group therapy too, just so I can get use to a room with more than two people in it. I am seriously considering it!
But, I came back home, hiding my tears. I feel so very lost, at the moment. I just wanted to be there for my sister, I know she will understand it, but I hate this! Why was I even born this way. I don't fit anywhere... :-(