I Know I Am Not Good Enough But Am I That Bad....

I remember the times when I was a kid i was a believer ... I was a free spirit..I did things which i felt like I said things which I felt like saying ...trying to score goals(even from offside) among big guys....trying to get good grades (even when i was not the smartest)...announcing to world I like that girl(even if she was way out of my league).... driving bike as fast as I can(even when my feet could not reach the ground)....I believed in myself.and then college happened ..and w/o any over dramatic circumstances..it slowly dawned upon me that I am nothing and then I stopped...my life stopped..I shutdown myself from the world and presented a fake me... I didn't find any great friends..just pretended to lead a normal college life..Left college jobless(even when i tried really hard to get a job..kicked out of 20 odd intrvs).... tried my luck to do postgrad..but couldn't get admission to decent enough B school. Struggled again with low jobs (lucky enough to find that one) and then got decent enough job after 2 years. I thought that I can do it(life) but even after it is such a big struggle today.... the feeling of disgust when I get up every morning... I know what I need to do but procrastinate things.I will say one thing in the morning and end up doing exact opposite in the evening...All I want is the same feeling which I felt as a kid to come back again and find what I really want to do with my life and get over these constant disappointments in my head..
avin22 avin22
26-30
1 Response Nov 28, 2012

So you say.... you know what you need to do... and yet you still prefer to whine about it... You know... as you say... it will not end until you start anew.