Never Had A Girlfriend, Feel Like I Never Will

I have had some one night stands - nasty, ugly experiences with women that were very poor choices. I am not ugly - far from it - but my online personals go almost entirely ignored. At 44, in a big city, I have never dated anyone for more than a week. And I'm not the one breaking it off. Even finding a partner has been extraordinarily difficult. I haven't been laid in years. I am average build, wear clean clothes, have good hygiene ... and must give off some weird vibe that acts like exceptional girl-proofing. Even the ugly girls don't approach me. In a couple years, it just won't matter anymore. I will be fifty, and past the heartbreak that I am feeling now. If Ms. Right hasn't found me by then, she can stop looking. Whatever we may have had will be as dead as my broken dreams. She's fifty and the dream will have been dead and gone for years by then. Even on an antidepressant, writing about my emotions is making me feel so blue, that I gotta stop. Love is a damn dirty lie. "Someone for everyone" is hurtful. I believed that there was someone many times, and ... there's no one. It hurts.
sunlitwaves sunlitwaves
41-45
3 Responses Aug 13, 2010

There is no mr or ms right.<br />
only idiots who make themselves believe that.

Hugs to you...don't give up because there is someone out there for you...

Keep your heart open...never give up!