Deaf Ears

I have been going through a type of mental overload for the past few years. I've asked for some mental health support and people look @ me like I'm an alien from outer space. Either they don't have anything useful to offer or they're not interested unless I'm going to kill someone or myself. Why does it have to be only those extremes. Do I have to kill someone or attempt to kill myself before someone will listen and HEAR me?

I'm overwhelmed by my life and the responsibilities that have been placed upon me. I've asked for help over and over and it falls on deaf ears. So I'm stuck in my situation. I explain it over and over and people always say the same thing, just state my position and that's it, my family will have to accept it. The problem is, they don't. They ignore my pleas and my situation continues. I'm trapped and my only way out is to move away somewhere that no one knows me to start over if that's even possible in this day & age of electronic tracking.

So now I'm having side effects from my stress. I've begun to have dementia. I forget things I KNOW. A little while later it comes back but not when I need it. I've learned to hide it. People depend on me. I can't have dementia or possibly Alzheimer's. That's what it is like. I'm hiding my confusion and disorientation because what will those who depend on me do when I can no longer handle the responsibilities that they have placed upon me? They can't handle it themselves, that's why I'm doing it. Only so many tasks can be outplaced to other people. I would love to hire a personal secretary to help me. I probably can't afford it. I wouldn't even know how to go about it. I've never before been an employer. Yet I really need the help. I'm sure my dementia is going to get worse if I do nothing to improve my situation.

Again my screaming for help falls upon deaf ears. Its not THEIR problem, I haven't said I'm going to kill someone so its not important enough to pay of any attention. I have said I've wanted to kill myself, over and over. Unfortunately this statement only attracts people that want me to join their church & pray to their god so he can fix me. Or doctors want to hand me a bottle of pills to make those feelings go away. What about give me some options on how to handle my stress? How about that? Deaf ears again. No one knows anything about that and so I stay stuck. Slowly mentally withering away.
4vrUnique 4vrUnique
2 Responses Apr 12, 2012

my cries for help have resulted in me being in hospital overnight, the nurses looking at me in disgust because i've wasted their time them having to bandage up my self harm and take blood tests from overdosing , all because im obviously some attention-seeker who isnt at any high risk at all. They then make you wait a few hours the next day until a "mental health support worker" or "psychiatrist" is able to see you, and they ask you if you feel the urge to attempt it again. You say yes, and they suggest you go to your gp for anti-depressants. NEXT

Exactly, they want to fix you Daisypie with their pharmaceuticals instead of help you learn how to deal with the stress you don't know how to handle. I don't understand why that assistance is unavailable?

I want to be able to stand up and do something. People start protests and campaigns for all different reasons...I just dont know where to start, though. Maybe we could both make an internet campaign/petition raising mental health awareness? I dont know...I personally want to raise awareness for my borderline personality disorder also, as thats what ive been diagnosed with..but its nowhere near known enough. The amount of judgement I have had to put up with because of my traits was awful, and I want more people to know about it.

That sounds like a plan, but I don't know how to do it. @ least your condition has a name, I have no idea what mine is called. No, I don't want to spend my life's savings figuring it out either. I completely understand about being judged for my disorder, its so difficult hiding it, its a daily occurrence. I'm sorry I can't remember what I just said 10 minutes ago. That's why I love print, then I can just reread it. No remembering required.

the short-term memory sounds serious. Surely its not dementia? And it does help a lot to get a diagnosis. The one thing I benefit from is the free health care over here...but honestly it doesnt make it much better wether I pay or not. I have been on the waiting list for DBT, a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help bpd sufferers cope..but I have never got it. The one priority is my anger, I want to fix that because its the thing thats ruining my life the most, but you have to pay for anger management here too. Would you care to read my experience? I feel the same as you in many ways...

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Exactly. Prevention is cheaper and more effective. The health care system definitely needs an overhaul. When & where? Who knows if it'll ever happen.