Deaf EarsI have been going through a type of mental overload for the past few years. I've asked for some mental health support and people look @ me like I'm an alien from outer space. Either they don't have anything useful to offer or they're not interested unless I'm going to kill someone or myself. Why does it have to be only those extremes. Do I have to kill someone or attempt to kill myself before someone will listen and HEAR me?
I'm overwhelmed by my life and the responsibilities that have been placed upon me. I've asked for help over and over and it falls on deaf ears. So I'm stuck in my situation. I explain it over and over and people always say the same thing, just state my position and that's it, my family will have to accept it. The problem is, they don't. They ignore my pleas and my situation continues. I'm trapped and my only way out is to move away somewhere that no one knows me to start over if that's even possible in this day & age of electronic tracking.
So now I'm having side effects from my stress. I've begun to have dementia. I forget things I KNOW. A little while later it comes back but not when I need it. I've learned to hide it. People depend on me. I can't have dementia or possibly Alzheimer's. That's what it is like. I'm hiding my confusion and disorientation because what will those who depend on me do when I can no longer handle the responsibilities that they have placed upon me? They can't handle it themselves, that's why I'm doing it. Only so many tasks can be outplaced to other people. I would love to hire a personal secretary to help me. I probably can't afford it. I wouldn't even know how to go about it. I've never before been an employer. Yet I really need the help. I'm sure my dementia is going to get worse if I do nothing to improve my situation.
Again my screaming for help falls upon deaf ears. Its not THEIR problem, I haven't said I'm going to kill someone so its not important enough to pay of any attention. I have said I've wanted to kill myself, over and over. Unfortunately this statement only attracts people that want me to join their church & pray to their god so he can fix me. Or doctors want to hand me a bottle of pills to make those feelings go away. What about give me some options on how to handle my stress? How about that? Deaf ears again. No one knows anything about that and so I stay stuck. Slowly mentally withering away.