Define Myself Threw Lies

All threw our teen age years we are told to be unique and be ourselves, don't let anyone else define who we are.

But what if I define myself threw lies. How am i supose to know who to be. I am getting to the point where i am not sure if I can live with myself and my lies anymore.

My friends and family all know me as this one person. A person i make myself out to be threw lies. But inside i know the real me. I have been lying to myself and to others since atleast grade 5 or 6. I am now grade 11. We are told "highschool is when you are supose to have fun and just live your life".

I can not live mylife threw lies anymore. But if I tell the truth, what will people think of me. Some people are already starting to see threw my lies. Others try to believe i wouldn'd do that.

I have 17 months till i can go away to University and define myself WITHOUT lies. Be myslef. Re-invent myself.

But what if can;t live with myself till then. What if my secrets get out. What if my life becomes something worse that it already is.

Lies..... What i thought was the greatest thing... Now the worse.

I just want to be a kid again.

pro36 pro36
18-21
8 Responses Feb 24, 2009

it must be hard feeling like no one cares, but you have to remember that unless you love yourself you cant expect anyone else to

i lied about having a boyfriend that was 3 years older. i lied about having sex and him wanted to get married. <br />
I didnt lie becausei wanted to fit in, to be like everyone else, i think i lied because i wanted the attention. to know that someone cared and to tell me that i was doing the wrong thing. i guess....

From what I read, you must be thinking your "truth" is bad, - therefore you find it hard to be honest. You are saying "if I show the truth, what will people think of me " ?<br />
<br />
So, what is so bad about your truth ?

P.S. Be positive ! Look at one of your lies, and then think what you would like to replace it with.<br />
<br />
Is it all about pretence ? Are you pretending to be someone you are not ? <br />
Was that useful to you at any one point ?<br />
Socially perhaps ? Did you maybe want to match other people, - be like others in order to fit into the group ?

Can you give me an example of one of your lies ? Or is that too private ?

Type your comment here...

no, like I have made up lies about how i live my life and now it is falling apart under me. and when i think about myself i dont know who i am without these lies and what defines who i am.<br />
I dont know who i am without these lies

I am not sure what you mean. You mean, when you tell the truth about yourself, you would come out as "a bad person" or something like that ?