Disowned For Seven Years

My children turned against me in the worst way after I went to a battered women's shelter with the two younger ones seven years ago. My ex was very vindictive and reported the children missing and my children were torn from me at the shelter. I believe this traumatized them in many ways. I was not allowed to see them and my ex brainwashed them to despise me. My ex is a sociopath, very likable and charming to many...most sociopaths are brilliant at lying and manipulation. I fought to see my children for years. To make a very long story shorter, my ex got primary custody of them and they live with him. My two younger ones won't see me unless I buy them things. Their dad discusses the court case with them and was ordered to pay a small amount of support to me. He tells our kids that he has to pay support. My kids can be very abusive, and they have no conscience. If they don't like an adult, they make false accusations against them to get them in trouble. My kids turned into dangerous people, very stealthy, and learned my ex-husband's ways. The kids hate me and say that I am taking daddy's money so I should buy them things or they won't see me.

My oldest child is 23, from my first marriage. I divorced his dad when he was little, and remarried my current ex. He was cruel to my son, and I always defended my son in arguments. What will always perplex me is that my son turned against me too. He will not speak to me despite letters, calls, emails. He claims my ex (stepfather) is his true father now, and my ex has him living with him and our children. They seem like one happy family, and I am the bad mother exiled from the family. In addition, my own mother disowned me when this all started and took my ex's side. My father has been dead for over 17 years. No one who cares in my extended family....they have lots of problems and this campaign against me from my ex and now my children, infected everybody.

I know things will never be the same. As a displaced homemaker, I made good use of this time and earned a nursing degree. People who know me and my children told me to let them be that way, and don't chase them anymore. My friends say I am a good person, mother, etc. and that my children do not deserve me. I know they are right, but the hole in my heart is always there.

The only member of my family who never betrayed me was my first husband. I was a fool for divorcing him. He loved me very much and I left him in a terrible way. I was only 18 when we started seeing each other, got pregnant at nineteen, married just after I turned 20. I was young and immature and hurt my first husband very much.

I apologized to him when this all went down seven years ago. I told him he was a good man and that I was very sorry for hurting him. He said he appreciated that.

Didn't mean for this to be too long, but this is essentially my experience. Despite holding a nursing degree and working very hard to turn my life around (I was homeless and hungry for years), I still feel sad. It is with me every waking moment. Sleep is a temporary reprieve. I have friends who are good to me, but it's not the same without your family. From this website it looks like I am not alone. Thanks for letting me share.
omega813 omega813
Sep 11, 2012