So Sad And Dissapointed

So I have a kind of a role model I look up to. He dissapointed me once. He showed a more immature side I didn't approve of. But after that I asked a couple of questions and he seemed genuine. So I looked pass that and accepted that everyone is after all - just a human being.
Time passed, he helped me out. I grew grateful he kept my secret. I was ignorant to all the gossip of what kind of a person he actually is. And if someone asked me, thinking we are more like friends so I would know, I told them that all the gossip is not true. I stood by his side.
Again, months went by. But I grew distant because of the feelings that appeared and I didn't want that to influence other things in our lives.

And so now I hear a new gossip that has witnesses that are not 100% sure what happened but swear that it looked like that and that everyone knows these things. I was silent. It is the last straw. I cannot stand and listen to these things not knowing if they are true or not. The only option is to ask him myself and hope that what I see everyday is not just a mask behind which an idiotic perv is hiding.

But either it is all true or he is the most hated guy around.

Both are possible. The first since he gave reason for people to believe he was like that. He acted out of order and everyone could draw a conclusion and after all - even people who know him longer have said he likes to mess around.

The second could also be true, since being smart and accomplished brings things along like envy and hatred. And also when people are secretive, other tend to make up truths they think would seem interesting.

Should I ask if all of it is true? Or should I keep silent and keep ignoring it. I am dissapointed anyway... so can it be worse if it were all true?
insanitycuresboredom insanitycuresboredom
22-25, F
Dec 5, 2012