Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

Can't Seem To Get Over My Exwife

It was like a roller-coaster ride in 2006 meeting my ex-wife when I moved out of town. She was everything I
looked for in a woman and I just had to have her. A year later we were married and had our own home and a child
on the way. Then in 2009 things just came crashing down on me, finding out that my ex-wife no longer loved me. 
I was devastated. We got divorced and I just lost it. Just the thought of not being able to be with the love of my
life just made me crumble all to pieces. Some say it was a fast move, but I can describe everything in perfect clarity,
she was my everything, still feels like my everything.

Most stories on here only describe a few months gone by after a divorce where they miss their ex, but it's about gone on 
two years for me. I've tried everything in the book to forget about her. I've tried hobbies, throwing myself into work, even meeting
up with different women to try to form new relationships. It just won't let me be and it breaks my heart every time I think about
how she's doing. I can't keep stable, feel completely unwanted, and get the impulse just to drive on the interstate and just
get out of dodge for awhile....tried that as well and it didn't work. I ended up traveling up and down the east coast three times
before I'm back where I started. I don't know what to do or where to go from here. I'm just completely unhappy with my life and unable
to cope with almost anything anymore. 

So what do you do? What steps do you take when all else fails. I love my ex-wife and I probably always will.

Thank you if you read my story. It's just taken a long tole on me, already thinking of moving yet again. Thankfully I stopped myself from moving and having to start over looking for work yet again.
tiredhris tiredhris 26-30 61 Responses Jul 16, 2011

Your Response

Cancel

It's funny, everyone says to "get over it" or to "find someone else". That's nonsense. After being together for over 20 years, it's not that easy. I'm glad I found this. Everyone seems to think men cope so much better. Bullshit! I cry several times a day every single day. I miss her and that's prbably not going to change. I have no desire to meet anyone. Everything reminds me of my wife. I can't listen to music, seldom watch tv, don't go anywhere, can't go anywhere different because I wish she was there to see it, like it's always been. I spend my evenings praying to God that 'll get a terminal illness or die a sudden death. I can barely function. I keep it together at work for the most part. Killing myself isn't even an option, not a cry for help. I have a son who is pretty much oblivious to everything. Thank God 13 year old boys still have mushy brains. Anyway, I'm glad I saw this and I'm glad to know I'm not alone. I hope one day I can snap out of this funk and start living. I'm extremely sentimental and really don't expect that to happen. Until then, I will wait and do nothing to try and help myself because I really have no desire to do anything.

Add a response...

hello everyone this really worked and i am proud to testify also. i saw a post on how a lady got her husband back and i decided to try this prophet that helped her because my relationship was crashing. although i never believed in spiritual work i reluctantly tried him and this prophet helped me and my relationship is now perfect just as he promised my husband now treats me like a queen even when he had told me before he doesn't love me anymore. well, i can not say much but if you are passing through difficulties in your relationship try him here is his email prophet.briancarn@yahoo.com of a truth he really helps again his email his prophet.briancarn@yahoo.com

I know your pain all to well, I was married to my amazing wife for 17 years. I haven't talk, txt or saw her in 5 months, since divorce date. Been out of the house for 10 months. I loved her every single day of our marriage and still do. My tears have been my food day n night. I only live 5 city blocks from her & my daughter. I feel that this loneliness will ultimately kill me. I'm a good looking & in great shape man but have no desire to find another women, and I also now because of this ultimate rejection from the most important person I ever knew Now I have the lowest self esteem. I want my wife back!!!! I miss her every second of everyday. She just fell out of love with me.

hello everyone this really worked and i am proud to testify also. i saw a post on how a lady got her husband back and i decided to try this prophet that helped her because my relationship was crashing. although i never believed in spiritual work i reluctantly tried him and this prophet helped me and my relationship is now perfect just as he promised my husband now treats me like a queen even when he had told me before he doesn't love me anymore. well, i can not say much but if you are passing through difficulties in your relationship try him here is his email prophet.briancarn@yahoo.com of a truth he really helps again his email his prophet.briancarn@yahoo.com

I saw this post pretty late, looks like this is from 2011. However i felt compelled to say something, I am going through a really tough situation, I married a woman (August 2014) from Switzerland, a girl I thought was "the one" I loved her so much and still do. I sacrificed all of my things, my car, my job, my entire life here in the US to move in with her and start a new life together. I thought she wanted the same things. I remember telling her before we married that if she didn't want to do this, we could wait a while longer. But she assured me that marriage was what she wanted so we could be together. Then just after xmas 2014, she acted funny. Something always seemed to be on her mind but she would never ever tell me, she would blow it off. Then after xmas i told her we need to talk because I felt something was wrong, she finally admitted to me that she didn't want this marriage, she felt it was too soon, that she has no love for me, but only love as a friend.. i was shocked and heartbroken. It's been a month since after the separation, I had to leave on new years, she barely speaks to me on the phone, she won't tell me what made her change her mind. She refuses to give me any answers to any questions. I feel lost and I feel so sad and intense anger for her. I came back to the US and now i have start all over with no job, no money, no car, no property.. no home. Nothing... I had to come back and live in with parents. I don't know how I am going to get through this. I've been taking courses online, Ive been looking for jobs I know i can get to by walking or by public transportation, but I still have her on my mind. I decided to stop contacting her for good. No more texting and calling to nag her for information. but still I am so angry and sad. I feel like I'll never get over this sad feeling I have. But I am trying to move on, i am making steps to do it. I just feel betrayed and lied to. as far as i know she isn't with another man, but I still feel like I did so much and go nothing in return. no love back, which was all I wanted.. it was nice to view your story, It felt good to know I am not alone. I don't know if since then you have finally moved on from her. But if you have, maybe you can give some advice? I hope you see this message. Anyway, take care and good luck with things.

It's more of a day to day basis. You know? Good :)
If a relationship were to suddenly drop into my lap, I'd be cautious, but I'd still give it a go if I thought we were compatible. That's where I'm at now. The ugly reality though is that it's taken forever for me to bounce back from what I had. I'm doing ok for the moment, doing work and putting what I don't pay in bills in the bank for when I finally decide what I want to do. That's the main part. I've finally reached my goal of the amount I wanted to save up in order to move back to be near my kids, going from my story, but I'm still putting more back so when the time comes I'll be able to stay on the right side of town and be happy instead of being in a run down section I know I could afford, and be around people I'd rather not associate with. Not hard on their luck like us type people. The bottom of the barrel is what I'm avoiding.

You're going to be angry and sad. It's not "just going to go away" in a short time period. Hell, I still get it from time to time, but I've experienced it enough to know it for what it is, and know I did everything I possibly could to stay together. Some things just don't work. Talk with others on here about how you feel. Also, don't just stick with one social medium if that isn't enough. Go to the others. Facebook, Mocospace, Reddit, or even find a group nearby or someone that's willing to just listen to you (just don't make it a close friend, because what you want is a whiteboard for ideas, not a friend that gets tired of what we're dealing with and avoiding you). Men just don't have the same emotional support that women do, so we can't just go to our friends like they do to constantly get support. Do positive things for yourself. Hobbies. Things you enjoy. This is all about you now. You're single with no commitments. It's a blank slate just waiting for you to write on it! :)

Dunno if that helps. I do try to get on here when I see a response in my email. I was really upset back when I first found experienceproject and hope that you can find your coping mechanism that works for you until you can get past the worst of the hurting.

It's been 5 years since me and my exwife split up and I can't let her go, like you tried everything, moved out of town, had other relationships. I recently moved back and financial circumstances lead her to let me move back in with her and my kids. I sleep on the couch and she said that while she has feelings for me, she doesn't want a relationship, she's happy how things are. I thought I could handle it, but it's destroying me being under the same roof, interacting with her and not having her lover me. I don't know what to do...

I'd get an apartment. Find somplace nearby to where you can see your kids every chance you get. Trust me. Moving out of town again would make it difficult to see them, as I'm still having this problem. The woman you loved? She no longer exists. Someone with the same looks and actions, who shares kids with you. At least that's how I think of my ex now.

Then there's the other option. Be observant. Watch your surroundings and learn from it. If she's having trouble with something, don't ask, just do it. Hectic schedule and no time to clean the house? Just do it. Don't tell her you did it to be nice. Don't expect a response. Do it because you know how tired she gets when busy. You don't have to cook for her, but you could "accidently" make too much and put leftovers in the fridge (storage containers). Other than being a team player, keeping the house running while there. Just be yourself, the true you. Not the panzy wanting her back. We're men that take action. We do what we enjoy and make the most of what we've got.

Begging doesn't work. No one likes a beggar. She didn't date you for starting off as one and it won't change things now. If your there for awhile like how I mentioned, being happy and enjoying life, trying to make the most of the cards your dealt, then I'd still say move out.

"You got to know when to hold em. Know when to fold em. Know when to walk away. Know when to run..."

I completely know your pain my friend ...just came home today from seeing her as I drop my son off to her for the holidays and again in summer so I see her about 6 to 8 times a year she lives 6 hrs away ....for me we've been divorced for 10 years but we're still great friends I'm with someone now who I love but not in love with cause Im still I'm in love with my ex .we have 2 wonderful children together one lives with me and other with her girl and boy ...if you ever figure out how to get through it please let me know ....good luck sir and all the best

I have a very similar story. I worked very hard after university to establish a quality of life for my wife and I until I felt 'ready' to have a child. The problem was, by the time I was ready she had been having an ongoing affair and left me for the other guy. I was devastated and I still am because I very much love my wife. I know it is unfair but I have begun a relationship with someone new just to try to get over her. So far it hasn't worked and I spend every day wishing I could have my wife back. I am very afraid that I 'll spend the rest of my wife wishing I could be with her again.

Thats almost exactly my story except we were married longer and had our first son die and almost our second. But it has been two years apart now and i feel like i love her even more now. And she still rejects me.

That's exactly what I am going through, she divorced me and now wants to be friends and I have so much hate for her, and still miss her daily ..

I know your story is old, but it came up while I was Googling my situation. My wife left me in June, just finalized the divorce two weeks ago. I was doing well, no contact for months prior to the hearing. When I saw her at the hearing, we had lunch after and it was amazing. Old feelings came back(for me anyway), it was like we first met, we talked, laughed, had a fantastic time. Now I can't stop thinking about her. Why I married her. How beautiful she is. Our marriage became toxic from many things the two worst were money and communication.

I honestly don't know what to do. I hooked up with two different women out of sheer loneliness and I felt like **** after.

I am doing all I can to keep it together and not breakdown.

I am completely alone with my thoughts. She barely says anything to me.

Anyway, I can relate to your story. I hope you've since resolved your issues. =)

Best of luck to you.

Look away dawg,, shes takened now

I do not know about any of you, but personally I am tired of people dismissing this and saying I will move on and find someone better for me. And I am sick of being met with pitiful glances just because I am a man.

Of course I can find someone with whom I would have an easier life. but that is besides the point. Those people have no idea how real love works. It is not a simple mechanism you can shut off, it does not exist simply because it is convenient or even because it is remotely useful. It exists because of hormones, neurotransmitters, experience and circumstance. And once it is, it forever leaves you changed beyond recognition.

I am sorry for everyone's loss and I am sick to my soul in the same way all of you are. In spite of the intense emotional abuse I suffered and my own grave mistakes in the relationship... she was, is and always will be my deepest love.

I know this post is old but I ha e to also say your story is just like mine but we met in 2005 got married in 2009 and divorced in 2012. I miss her so much she cut all ties with me so it seems like she let go but I can't she was my everything and only thing. Everything that I always wanted to do I did for her and now that we are not together I have started school and work all the time I have one day off a week and it still doesn't help I do not know what to do I miss her so much even though I know that I could never get her back . Everything I do and some people I see just remind me of her I don't know if you got over it and if you did I would love to know how. I have only been on two dates since the divorce and it is not a matter of trying it is just I haven't been able to pick up woman like I used too. I even went on a dating website no hits on there either if someone could help me that would be nice.

My heart goes out to you. I am in more or less the same shape as you. I'm not a bad looking guy, I'm pretty smart and creative, I'm not poor, etc. But I just do not want anyone else, not really. And that is something women pick up on. There will be some out there who will want to be with you to heal your broken hear. But you'll be project to them most likely.

Bless your heart. I understand, totally. I was married 28 yrs to the love of my life, and I was the one who filed and left. However, it was not my choice to do so. Ive been gone over a year and divorced 10 mos. I have someone in my life that I am content with but its not the same. The evening shadows fall and its more than haunting.Theres a ripping away, a death, a loss, a chasm and an abyss. I am estranged from my adult girls and miss them terribly. I mourn what could have been and wasnt. Thank goodness I am with someone who understands and dries away the tears. He wipes away the pain of those "lost" memories that never were. He cares about the fact that I totally loved and gave myself to someone who couldnt not wouldnt but couldnt love me the way I loved him. I miss my ex husband coming home from work and me having dinner ready and us eating together. I miss Friday night date nights, I miss taking walks and getting biscuits in the morning with our puppies. I miss the smell of his cologne when he would leave for work and kiss me and it would linger until mid morning. During our divorce, I lost my Mother. The grief and pain have been so immobilizing, I can literally feel my heart breaking. They say time makes it more palatable. I am quite sure that those who say that mean well, but experiencing this is beyond any pain any one could imagine. My advice to you would be this, Honor your grief. Do not skip opportunities for growth and acceptance. Learn from this, be grateful for the chance you had to love and give love. Celebrate life today in small ways: a cup of coffee, a journal entry, a walk in nature, a song. Most of all, learn to fall in love again with the person who counts.....you! You are a beautiful,bright and caring person. When you begin to love yourself enough to believe that there will be enough love left to share!

Wow...your story is just like mine, which is probably why I had to read more than once. And "Yes" I miss her so much..that it seems like a never-ending cycle. Even after 2 yrs that we have been divorced..it's hard to get right, like I was when we where together. I was so sure of things..now I have no clue how to get to the place..that I was once at..happiness left..2 yrs ago...and yeah..I will always love her...she was the one..thanks for listening

Have you visited EXaholics.com? It's a great resource for trying to work past divorce. Good luck. http://www.exaholics.com/2014/01/24/how-to-recover-from-a-break-up-part-1-validation-2/

Wow this sounds just like me! I'm not sure of anything anymore or what I am going to do with my life. I miss my ex-wife so much!

My love for her never really went away, just the emotional aspect. It's completely changed my Outlook on women and harder to find the right one for sure, but it's because I've changed since then. I no longer care about money problems, I just work through the bills I have and rid of the unnecessary ones. So no dreams of a white picket fence, though I might be tempted later on as long as I'm the one building it. More letdowns since then from women I've met, but know I'm weeding out the ones that wouldn't work out allot faster than in the past. I'm my own man, make my own decisions, and finding the right woman to share the journey will be all the sweeter for taking my time looking for the right one. Work. Treat yourself to out of the way restaurants. Waffle house kept me company instead of alone at 3 in the morning lol. Expand tastes on music, literature, movies, social sites online. Set your standards high, and always know you are far more worth than people think you are. I took a low wage job willingly for the first shift hours doing car maintenance. Not much money, but love working on cars and I keep learning something every week at least lol. Have a toolbox full of tools that keeps growing and better at doing more cars faster than when I started with just owning a few wrenches and an air guage. Im always moving forward man. Not stopping to look back at what cant be changed. Just do what interests you, have fun with ot, and learn from the process. So much to say but not enough time to do so. That time will be spent sleeping then getting up to eat with the others at the local pub. Lot of interesting stories from the older folks. Lmfao

I understand how you feel and i am so sorry on behalf of your ex wife. because i was cheating my ex husband too but because of he is too much depending with his family and ignoring me. Long story short..we divorse for about two year already now.. and i believe she still love you but in other way. My advice is always praying for your self and love yourself more then ever... God always there to comfort you...Believe me...I will always love my ex husband for the rest of my life.

Ex Mrs Lai

Have you visited Exaholics.com? I found that community really helpful. Was great to have a safe place to talk to people who really get it.

A big thanks to DR atakuma, who brought back
my
ex girlfriend. My name is samson Benard, from
Canada. Last year, August
26th 2012, I proposed to my
ex girlfriend and she agreed to marry me then we both planned for the wedding. Our wedding was
to hold September
30th. We had a little
misunderstanding and she left me for another
guy. I almost committed
suicide; I never knew there was hope for me, a friend of mine would always advise me to be
hopeful and that one day she will
come back to me, Some
times I will go to her house to ask for forgiveness
to come back to me because she
really means a lot to me and I love her so much and she will ask me to leave her alone and I
should never come to her
house again. I found it
really hard to fall in love with another girl, months
passes by and I was
waiting patiently for her to come back to me but in my heart I was still going through hell, there
was a big hole in my
heart.
* *One morning I received a call from my friend
and he told me to come to
his house immediately, I quickly put on my clothes and ran to his house because I felt he was in
trouble, when I got to he’s
house, I met him on
his computer system and I ask him what the
problem was, he said when he was
browsing through the internet, he came across some testimonies on how a spell caster brought
someone’s ex husband back.
I was angry with him
because he frightened me and now he’s telling
about spell caster. I told
him to forget about the matter because I never believed in spell casters, he asked me if I really
want my ex girlfriend to
come back to me and I said
yes so he said I should give it a try because if you
really need something
that is very important to your life, then you go for it. I agreed to what he said and I took the spell
casters email address
and I emailed him, few
minutes later he replied me and asked what can
he do for me so I told him
what I wanted and he asked me to do what ever he asked of me which I did. He told me not to
worry that my ex girlfriend will
come back crawling on
her kneels asking for forgiveness as soon as he
cast the spell so he cast
the spell and the following day my ex girlfriend came back to me, right now I and my girlfriend
are happy. This is the reason I
decided to put it in
writing so that anybody that is hopeless will find
the reason to be
hopeful. If you are in the same situation, DR atakuma is the right spell caster that will solve
your problem, You can email
him
on: atakumaoracle@gmail.com. try and
see what he can do

Hello I am Joy Micheal ,I am out here to spreed this good news to the entire world on how I got my ex lover back.I was going crazy when my love left me for another girl last month, But when i meet a friend that introduce me to DR GREAT OSOBA the great messenger to the oracle that he serve,I narrated my problem to DR GREAT OSOBA about how my ex love left me and also how i needed to get a job in a very big company.He only said to me that i have come to the right place were i will be getting my heart desire without any side effect.He told me what i need to do,After it was been done,In the next 2 days,My love called me on the phone and was saying sorry for living me before now and also in the next one week after my love called me to be pleading for forgiveness,I was called for interview in my desired company were i needed to work as the managing director..I am so happy and overwhelmed that i have to tell this to the entire world to contact DR GREAT OSOBA at the following email address and get all your problem solve..No problem is too big for him to solve..Contact him direct on: greatosobaspelltemple@gmail.com. and get your problems solve like me..... ONCE AGAIN HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS: greatosobaspelltemple@gmail.com

Man, I am struggling as well, met my wife in college and knew instantly she was the one, dropped everything for her got married a 1 1/2 yrs later, been married 18 years now. I will admit I have alot of the blame for the upcoming divorce, I am a recovering gambling addict and she stuck with me through that, had an affair during the 5 years of my gambling addiction crisis, she stayed with me there, all the financial ruin she stuck through. Have to beautiful teenagers, but she's done, I have told my last lie, she grew up, I did not. We have been separated for 2 months and let me tell you that in those 2 months I grew up super fast..being alone away from your family is a killer. We had a business that was failing and I lied to try to hide the economic struggles we were having, until bam they caught up to us. She couldnt handle anymore lies...I understand her justification for separation and divorce. I'm trying to win her back, but I think her heart is still in protected mode. Trying to give space and not obsess about where she is and what she is doing me in very difficult. We are living 45 minutes away from each other, so when I am at work it is easy, but the weekends with the kids and not her are brutal, I am a very controlling person, and am trying to end that...any ideas?

Yeah its awful guys.

Recently broke up a month ago after 5 years. We have a son together too.

We fought a lot. She had control issues but she never accepted she was to blame at all. Never admitted fault. It was all my fault according to her, and her family back her and blame me. None of them no the truth, but families stick together.

We'd fight and she go over the top. She'd start a fight about being 10 mins late and then like normal people do you make up in an hour she'd be like "i never wanna see you again, i'll call the police your harrassing me". Absolutely over the top.

Her sister never wanted us together. We had a stupid fight over nothing and i took her bike until she gave me what i wanted. I had stuff at her house she wouldnt' give me. We broke up over that and after she told her sister we were through. No chance. Im evil and nasty to them all and the worst person on earth.

She was married to a guy before me and had 2 girls. He cheated on her non stop and she still to this day has a bizarre relationship with them that she just says "is for the good of my girls". I never cheated on her and was loyal till the end...yet im the bad guy. I'm a personal trainer. I coulda cheated with over 100 hot girls. Yet i'm a loyal, loving guy and never cheated at all.

Anyway toward the end it got nasty. I thought she may have cheated so stuck my iphone in her car. She went to the police and i was arrested. She told them awful stuff that i was stalking her and harrassing her. Dude! we were on/off in a relationship, just arguing and i wanted to know if she was cheating. Every partner has a right to know that. I never hit, fought, attacked her. Yet when i go over to see her to ask or work out whats going on...she cries harrassment.

I couldn't even see my son after i was arrested. Strange stupid laws in australia put the entire family on the restraining order at first. Had to go to court to get him taken off it. So hard after seeing my son everyday of his life. We have a special bond, more so than my ex and him. I'm certain as he gets older he'd choose to live with me over her.

She played the "ill hurt you through our son" trick for a month before going to court and letting me see him. She also said she's "thinking about dropping the charges but leaving the restraining order on her also. Her bizarre behaviour continues. She had a choice not to see me at all. Yet she wants to meet at the front of the police station for handovers. My lawyer says its strange too. She hates me so much though that at our first handover for our son today...she wouldn't even look at me. Were not meant to talk at all.

Jus so hard going from your best mate in your life 24/7 to not having them around in the blink of an eye. We did everything together and shared a life and a son.

Ive had bizarre fluctuations in emotions.

At first i was devasted, the end of the world and my life. Got really dark and awful. I was so low and needed help. You can't eat or sleep. You finally sleep and have nightmares you have broken up , then you wake up and realise its all true.

Hard part was she loved me so much and hates me so much now. She can't even talk to me she's so angry. Despises me. I can't even talk to her to tell her she's wrong. I didn't do anything i just wanted to find out what was going on and if she was cheating. Once she involved her family...that was the end. They will disown her if she goes back with me. She uses the anger as a excuse to break up and said "she wants to be a role model to her girls".

Its only been a month but ill remember and love her the rest of my life. Wish i had just one more chance. All the speical things we did together are the hardest losing. Going places without her etc.

I get sick imagining her having sex with other guys. Ive had sex with girls since. Ive tried to forget her that way. It doesn't work. You feel good only till the next day.

A few things ive noticed:

It helps to talk about it. Places like this.

I tried to get someone to take away my loneliness. Too soon. I must have looked desperate and it backfired...twice lol

The best revenge is to have a good life. Get a goal then a plan then do it. That helps.

Try to make money. It helps a lot if your making money and busy.

Being a Pt i'm relatively fit and id consider myself good looking. This weekend i went out on few dates from a dating website. It's a crap shoot though. Last night i met 2 girls who were crazy about me. That got my confidence back and i felt great.

Today i saw my ex to get my son and she refused to look at me. She was all done up and looked gorgeous at 9am lol I felt sad and lonely and my date tonight was a disaster. Straight away i wanted to cry and thought about my old life and what i had lost.

Its an emotional rollercoaster.

They say you shouldn't... They Say a lot. Truthfully I Say to you, Do not underestimate the power of good old fashion hate. The fist 8 or so years it gave me a reason to get out of bed very morning. I have been divorced from her for 15 years and remarried to a wonderful woman now for 8. I still think and dream of my first wife today, but am a whole lot less angry than I was. Today I don't "Hate" her But for a long time... well it did force me to better myself out of spite to have a better life than her and I planned. :-) and when those old feelings begin to creep back, I Cloak my self in hatred towards her and in a few days I actually forget about it and begin to re appreciate the life and wife I have now.

I was married for 25 years, dated for 5 years prior to us getting married. During this 30 year period of time my ex was so consumed with his rights that he rarely noticed any needs the rest our our family had. He walked out on me 7 times to manipulate me and to demand his "rights" be met. At our 23 marriage year mark I had had enough and started treating him as he treated me. This escalated into divorce, him filing, he couldn't take the crap he was dishing out. Since our divorce he has wanted to get back together and is full of sugarie talk. He is in incredible debt and just needs relief by coming back as he did the previous 7 times. His sugarie talk means nothing to me, it sickens me because I have bought it 7 prior times and he thinks he can hood wink me yet again - no dice. So ... the reply where the man discusses being patient, being nice, working on yourself to improve yourself, versus blow more BS (how you say you have changed yet truly haven't) is the only thing that is going to melt your ex's heart. And, any women over the age of 30 knows your BS so if your ex doesn't take you back it is in your best interest to truly figure out why things went bad to begin with, own your part and work on the things to truly fix YOU. Contrary to what some of you men think, we are not you, we don't get into that crap about wanting what we don't have - we are looking for a person who is a good partner with integrity and maybe we didn't recognize the red flags when we were 20 but boy oh boy we see them at 30 and run the other way. So the Mr. Smartie pants on here discussing play hard to get, while you don't want to do the fake surgerie talk you definitely want to show any woman you are a man of caliber and what you say is not just blowing smoke up a woman's a** - that worked when we were 20 but it doesn't work beyond 30 unless of course you find yourself with a desperate woman - so if you are blowing BS and she knows it and still wants you, you get what you deserve. While I did love my ex for many, many years to a depth that can not be explained, I no longer love a person who truly does not love me (he thinks he does but his actions truly speak otherwise). Going 4 years post divorce, some days I am sad but is mainly about the thought of what I have done to my offspring and what I THINK I am missing out on which is love. But, I just have to remember our past and it is easy to see he did not love me despite his BS speak (words mean nothing) as love actions were never there so the sadness is more about what I THINK love should be not what I lived. Happily divorced.

I hear a lot about actions speaking louder than words and I wonder who keeps track of the good and the bad? I always tried to look at the positive in my relationship, but now see she always looked at the bad. I think a marriage is what that person puts into it. If someone is happy in their marriage, it is because they want to be. If someone is not satisfied, it is because they let themselves. I will explain. If a husband misses his wife and says he loves her. He does. Words aren't always empty. If all you think you are hearing is lies and deceit, that is all you WILL hear. People do change, but it takes time. Most people who do the leaving tend to feel negatively about it for longer than those they leave (article I read I will have to look at the site to source it). Things can get bad in a relationship, ask my grandmother, she was married 64 years. However, she said no matter how bad things could get, she knew together they would make it through. I love and miss my wife every day. Things we could have done better are clear now. I could have listened better, and she could have told me what was wrong sooner. Sometimes we assume others can read our minds, and it would be better if they could to be honest. Once trust is lost, it is almost impossible to get back. The fact that someone tries is a testament to actions speaking to what they want. If a man tries to sweet talk you he wants you back. Regret is a part of life, it lets us know when we made a mistake. Most people think healthy skeptacism is important in a relationship, but honestly, it probably kills more relationships because we reflect our own intentions and actions onto the other person! Once it is done, most people look to the other person for blame, but sometimes it only takes some deep self reflection to understand who is to blame. For me, I am to blame. She left though and there isn't anything I wouldn't have done to fix the damage I caused. Relationships are two people, and I can honestly say we messed things up good. But if she ever wants to come back, I am OK with a better plan so there is balance and harmony.

Read your story and have to agree also with various comments that have been left.

Its not fair to get into a new relationship or even worse , marry someone new until you are truly over your ex.
The person in your life doesn't deserve that and it will only make you suffer more too inside with even more mixed up emotions.

Its true you must move on, but that is easier said than done.

Councilling may help but I feel talking to friends is worse because you only hear what you want to hear from them.

I wish you luck and also I have been through all this and still not out of it yet.

Hello I am Joy Micheal ,I am out here to spreed this good news to the entire world on how I got my ex lover back.I was going crazy when my love left me for another girl last month, But when i meet a friend that introduce me to DR GREAT OSOBA the great messenger to the oracle that he serve,I narrated my problem to DR GREAT OSOBA about how my ex love left me and also how i needed to get a job in a very big company.He only said to me that i have come to the right place were i will be getting my heart desire without any side effect.He told me what i need to do,After it was been done,In the next 2 days,My love called me on the phone and was saying sorry for living me before now and also in the next one week after my love called me to be pleading for forgiveness,I was called for interview in my desired company were i needed to work as the managing director..I am so happy and overwhelmed that i have to tell this to the entire world to contact DR GREAT OSOBA at the following email address and get all your problem solve..No problem is too big for him to solve..Contact him direct on: greatosobaspelltemple@gmail. com. and get your problems solve like me..... ONCE AGAIN HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS: greatosobaspelltemple@gmail. com

Hello I am Joy Micheal ,I am out here to spreed this good news to the entire world on how I got my ex lover back.I was going crazy when my love left me for another girl last month, But when i meet a friend that introduce me to DR GREAT OSOBA the great messenger to the oracle that he serve,I narrated my problem to DR GREAT OSOBA about how my ex love left me and also how i needed to get a job in a very big company.He only said to me that i have come to the right place were i will be getting my heart desire without any side effect.He told me what i need to do,After it was been done,In the next 2 days,My love called me on the phone and was saying sorry for living me before now and also in the next one week after my love called me to be pleading for forgiveness,I was called for interview in my desired company were i needed to work as the managing director..I am so happy and overwhelmed that i have to tell this to the entire world to contact DR GREAT OSOBA at the following email address and get all your problem solve..No problem is too big for him to solve..Contact him direct on: greatosobaspelltemple@gmail. com. and get your problems solve like me..... ONCE AGAIN HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS: greatosobaspelltemple@gmail. com

I am going through the same situation only papers have yet to be filed and she has a boyfriend already after only 4 months of seperation it kills me everyday we also have 3 children together so I have to see her alot which does not help I dont know how to get over her

Feel ya man, was married for 8 years and I instigated a divorce and now am living to regret it. I think us guys take a lot for granted with women, I was confused and thought 8 years of fire and water was enough, come to found out I couldn't live without it. I hope all of us find the right person, maybe she wasn't and there is another one out there for me. Dating has been a side by side comparison and I always thought about Carla during sex or going to places we frequented with the other woman and it messed my head up. I haven't dated much since I dated the last 2 women after the divorce, none are in the same league and I cannot shake the stomach ache I get every time I pursue a relationship. Not sure what my future holds, I love her and always will-will always miss the nature walks and the warm glow we both emitted while together.

It has been three years for me, but it seems like it was just yesterday that I held her in my arms and told her I loved her. One minute we were supposed to go to dinner, the next minute we're arguing, then she tells me she wants a divorce, and that was it. Three years later I'm married to a woman I never wanted because I couldn't keep it in my pants. The shining light, the diamond, out of all of this is my precious baby boy. I stay with a woman I don't love, while constantly thinking about the woman I probably will always love, and I do this for the greatest love of them all which is for my child. I'm a miserable human being, but I know in my heart that God had and has a special plan and that was for my boy to be brought into this earth.

I know this is an older post but I felt compelled to reply. Your story has reached down to the pit of my stomach and ripped it right out of my body. You see I am the new wife in your story. I know what it feels like to be married a man who still deeply love his first wife. I didn\'t know this until well after we were married, but boy do I know it now. I just wish men who obsessed over their first wives\' would be fair to other women and not get involved. The new woman goes through just as much pain as you guys are claiming to be going through. Misery does not like company for the record, please be considerate of that and spread the news to other men who don\'t seem to understand that. Thank you for hearing \"our\" side of the story.

Somewhat agree with you. What I don\'t agree with is staying single obsessing only about an ex and doing nothing to get over it. Sometimes the best thing is to get out there and meet new people. My problem now is going through weeding out the rejects. Getting a guy to forget about their first true love is like pulling teeth, but yeah we have to give women we like a chance instead of only thinking about the past. Thinking in the here and now lol. Time heals somewhat.

I adore your honesty! I am in a very similar situation with my husband. We have only been together for 4 years and married for 3 years. He is and has always been in love with his first wife. They divorced over 20 years ago for crying out loud!! I do feel for you and for my husband for that fact, but playing the devils advocate here, I also feel for he women that these men get involved with. I too have been married before, however fortunately for me, I don\'t harbor deep emotionally connected feelings for my ex and have been able to move on to a much healthier place. I wasn\'t aware of how my new husband felt until much later in our relationship, but had I known, I wouldn\'t have married him. I love him dearly, but I now know that I will never ever begin to replace her or her memory. It is a very painful thing to live with. Funny thing, his ex cheated on him with his own best friend and ultimately went on to marry him (they have been married for 20 years now) yet my husband still holds her up on this golden pedestal and blames the guy. You sound like you have your head on straight though, just make sure that when you offer your heart to someone new, that you can really offer your heart. You will always love your ex, and a piece of your heart will belong to her, this is normal, but for your whole heart to belong to another woman while trying to start again with another is plain wrong. Good luck to you and thank you for sharing :)