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Why Do I Want My Ex Back ???

 after being married for almost 18 years its been right at a year that my divorce was final ,my ex and   I were seperated for a year befor that but did have a relationship,we searched out counciling and attended for several monthes, and i, in my thinking did everything i could to "save " our relationship i did  all the projects we were assigined  but my ex did not still i pressed on trying to work things out attended our classes but end result was nothing was resolved and we went away bitter and 3 monthes after that i was served with divorce papers all the while thinking things were going to work out ,this made me very angry ,and hurt very much i called  her immediately after  and we argued ,at first i accepted it and went on with things ,recently i tried a relationship with another woman but swiftly found out it was a mistake id found myself in a situation id been in befor .In a passed relationship she was the jelous, abusive type id came from a relationship like this several years ago and this is how i came to be with my exwife she was also in an abusive relationship when we had gotten together,this new woman  in several convesations and arguments kept saying "go back to your ex "or saying "your still in love with your ex ",,,,i didnt realize it but i  kept thinking  or thought can this be true my emotions took hold and i got depressed and very sad i couldnt stop crying   for a week, so id called my ex and told her i still loved her and that i missed her  and still wanted to try to work things out   but by this time she was also in a new relationship. but the next time we saw each other while dropping the kids off from visitation she approched me held my hand and hugged me ,and said that she still loved me and always would and that she knew how i felt about her  but had to think about things ,so she somewhat agreed to talk and go to dinner and we did several times with and with out the kids as time went on id set up a weekend for her and i to be alone  we'd  talked about this and she promised she'd go but she balked on me and went to the new relationships house instead on the weekend we'd agreed on ,recently i'd done somthing stupid i'd seen her phone ring with the name of a man i didnt know knowing it was her new boyfriend remembered the number  and have been texting or calling him saying bad things about her to him telling him all the  issues that caused us to seperate and ultimately divorce  ,jelousy took hold and i couldnt resist  for about the last 8 years of our relationship we argued almost everypay week shed been arrested for credit card fraud and bad checks and was in trouble in her last job for  misapproation of funds ,im i crazy to want her back why am i feeling this emotion i cant stop thinking about her and her new relationship and i dont know why .recentlyit was reveled to me she is in financial trouble again maybe why she "set me up for a fall "i dont know stupid me i gave her money again,all i know is  i love my children with all my heart and she uses that emotion to "push "a button .................................... any insight or help is welcomed
tataku tataku 41-45, M 2 Responses May 10, 2012

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man I'm sorry to see the way thing are going for you. My wife left me on may 1 2012,for another man, its only been 4 1/2 months she moved my two kids in with them. we were married 18 1/2 years. i really didnt think i was going to make it on my own, but i hope you do know there is help out there for free, seeing as most of those "get your ex back" e book are good for **** paper, i know because i bought most of them. If you do a search for "getting over a brokenheart" or "getting over your ex" you will probably be better off. i found one thing to be true in dealing with my breakup, and that is you cant go back and you cant make them love you, so all you can do is work on yourself and if your there for your kids they will know and they may not live with you but they will be there for you, i know because my kids came back to live with me. I hope all the best to you and i want you to know your not alone i still love my wife too.