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Will Love Her Forever

I still love my ex wife after being divorced for 8 years..Yes 8 years,but I still love her and I always will.She is with someone else but i see her once a week to pick up the kids.I have had a few other relationships but I have finished them all because of my feelings towards my ex wife.

JAL6369 JAL6369 46-50 28 Responses Jun 20, 2009

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Jal6369
It has been 5 years now.. we just spoke a few min about school and all that our little girl is learning, she is now 9.

Some or should I say many have told me to move on. I say to them, I guess you have no idea how it feels to BE IN LOVE with someone. Oh sure I do.. I told them, no you know what it is like to Love someone... am I wrong? I do not date anymore. and have not given my heart to another.. I tried, but it feels as if I'm the one cheating. How can you give your heart to another, when you truly feel you have no more to give.

I'm so tired, people come to me with all there problem's, and say please help... I tell them why me? What can I do or say that will help you.. Because you know what Loving someone means, and what has that gotten me? He said Friends.. I can count on one hand how many friends I have, many more when the hand money..

I say to them, We'll set down, and I will tell you a story of a man with (A hidden Heart) that will always be in Love.

I feel the same, despite all that she's put me through, all of the guys she's thrown in my face, some despicable behavior, I still find my self head over heals. We have a child together as well and been divorced close to 4 years, and married for 4 years.

I have read a lot about "narcissistic victim syndrome" lately and it resonates a lot with me and could even be why I am so into her.

Can some of you look into it and see if you relate?

It's just not normal or self respecting to be treated so horribly and still be clinging on to the perpetrator, who shows not even a smidgen of remorse and limits admittance of any wrongdoing.

Love is so confusing and so gut wrenching.

If someone I loved dearly were to betray me then that deep love would turn into loathing. Have some more self respect.

Self respect does not exclude forgiveness and unconditional love. "If you are wrong in the way you are right, then you are still wrong even if you are right." -James MacDonald.

I'm turning 40 in 2 hours. My wife left me 3 weeks ago. She's had an emotional affair brewing in the background for a few months now, that she assured me was her just chatting with a friend from high school. She started by telling me she needed space. That quickly evolved into wanting to live a new life she created for herself. I love my wife so much even though she's started dating the other man before we have become leagaly separated. My daughter turned 8 last week... my wife has chosen the absolute worst time to do this, not that any time would be good. Honestly I thought about ending my life to make theirs less complicated... I was talking to a very good friend of mine in another state, and my brother showed up to stop me (She Facebooked him while I Was on the phone with her) I know I can't just leave my daughter, now that I've had a couple days to think it through more, but my mind is so confused right now about how to move forward. I can't imagine ever losing the love I have for my wife. I love her now as much as I have ever loved her. I saw her today and it was all I could do not to grab her and kiss her and try to remind her of what we had together. I can't understand how one person in a relationship can change so quickly, when the other still has such strong emotions. My daughter is holding up very well. We talk about our feeling every night and has started writing in a journal. I hope this can help her through this. I doubt I will ever be able to love anyone the way I love my wife. I doubt I could ever trust another woman. I was told by a therapist to not lose hope. When I told my wife what he said, she looked at me like a man with no arms or legs trying to climb a tree. I'm lost without her.

amen,,,my ex and i have been divorced for 30 years now, ive had a few relationships and hended them all,slowly as to not mess them up as bad as myself. when we married in oct of 1983, she was the love i wanted ,then i screwed up really bad.it all ended in divorce,which came from a panic attack as i call it at 4:30 in the morning,will neverthe moment that my mouth went to running and could not shut up...ive hated myself eversince,,i betrayed her and the love and trust we had,then i paniced,,a lot of reasons went in to this ,,, however 30 years later she now calls and is in need ,,a real need,,and now i git a phone call once in a wile and a visit,,we had a 4 hour lunch and it dawned on me i should have done this back then,,man let me tell you how good that lunch was,,,so without dreaming,,im possibly back in the game,,,and maybe she will understand how much ive hurt for so long because of what i did...and still carrying my wedding band on my keychain as a constant reminder to never do these things again..she was what held me together and then i fell apart....all i can say is hang in there,,,,something is bound to happen sooner or later,,,,and try to be what she needs not wants,,,that wouldbe love ,careing and stability...and remember that memories are a tough thing to git over,,,,8 years is a long time to wait ,,ive waited 30....and after 30 years she was hurting really bad cause of some injurys, so i tossed her in the bed turned the lights off ,locked the doors and turned off her phone,,,she slept fot 13 hours,,,she woke up happy as ive ever seen her,,,,,so we never know,,,,,,,,again hang in there like a hair in a biskit,,,,,something will give eventually...........

My heart goes out to you brother. I have been there. I have been divorced and separated for almost 2 years now. I betrayed my wife then she took me back but ended up giving up after a year. My heart was broken and I thought about giving up and ending my life. Last I heard she was with someone else and doesn't talk to me. I have been working on myself and trusting God. I still love her and pray for God to heal us and restore us every day. I encourage seperated/divorced spouses who still want their marriage restored to check out Rejoice Marriage Ministries. Charlene Steinkamp and other spouses standing for their marriage have wonderful testimonies how God can change things. God bless.

My wife left me on January 2, 2010 and moved directly into her boyfriend's house. I was heartbroken, but it hurt even more when I found out she was pregnant by March. It hurt more than I can even say, but I'm sure you know exactly how much it hurt. I ended up losing my job because of my depression and hate for women, but I just didn't care. At the age of 25, I was moving back in with my mother, I lost everything I owned, filed bankruptcy, and attempted suicide. Finally, after I worked myself out of the depression, in July of 2011 I finally filed for divorce. We are divorced now and I finished up my community college education. I sent her an announcement because I thought it was the right thing to do; she was there with me for 44 of my credits so I thought it appropriate to notify her I was graduating. Now I'm working on my Bachelors and getting ready to apply to law school. Long story short, I still miss her so much. I have a girlfriend now but I should end it because it is wrong of me to lead her on like this. I want my ex-wife back so bad but at the same time, I know it cannot happen because of her new daughter; that was supposed to be my daughter, not his. I could never ever ever love that kid... it doesn't help the situation that we had been trying to have a daughter before she left (thank God we didn't). Every time I saw that kid, I would remember the pain.

You know what the sick thing is? I went back to school because I thought that maybe, maybe, if I could get my degree and a good job she would come back. I wouldn't care if she was coming back to be with me or my money, but just to have her back would be fine with me. Now THAT is insane.

I was married for 9 years & with her for just about 12 years. I have now been divorced for 5 years yet I still love my Ex wife with all my heart. I think about her often & I dream about her about 1 time a week.On our 10 th year of being together I had surgery to remove a tumor in my colon. After surgery Drs gave me pain meds & I became addicted to pain pills & I hid it from her very well. But then bcuz of the pills I started to become Sumone else & due to the guilt I told my wife about the pills. Well I started to get better but on the 11th yr my wife separated from me. She eventually divorced me & I was crushed. She began to see another man&after 1 month of my divorce being final she remarried. The hurt& pain that I went through over missing her & my kids nearly killed me. I cryed myself to sleep for 6 months cuz I missed my family& my wife so bad.It really hurt me after being with me for12yrs& making a family with 2 kids that she could remarry so fast like I was nothing to her.At anyrate I'm way better now but I still think of her often&i miss her as well.Time heals & the tears to go away. What happens is you learn how to live with it better but my love for her is always&forever

How can you still love the person who divorced you, who betrayed you, who lied at your marriage when s/he promised to love you and stick with you in the good and the bad till death! and yet with the first or the second hurdle went on to greener pastures!<br />
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I have been through it! Married my first (and last) wife for 10years, have three kids from her. I thought or believed that I would be her third and last husband, that she learnt from her mistakes and would do everything to keep our family together.<br />
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Yes, after 4 years, I admit I cannot go over it. Not because I love her! But because I despise her. I hate her so much that if I wouldn't risk to go to jail, I would personally pull her heart out of her chest!<br />
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No! the pain shall never go away! The hopes I had! to see my children growing inside a family I built, to be there for them, to see them every day.. and now? Months, years pass and all I am worth is to pay alimonies only. No! who betrays and deceives you deserves only your deepest hatred - nothing else. I wish my prayers would come true one day! even if I lost hope.

I'm in a similar situation. Been with my wife for almost 11 years and are currently seperated. The last five years has been hell for her because of me. I did not cheat but was abusing presc<x>ription pain pills. I didn't realize how much I love until I finally got clean, but its too late now. She told me that she still cares for me but is not in love with me anymore. When she told me tha it completely devastated me. I'm so hurt right now. I feel like the world is coming crashing down on me. I pray and hope one day I can get my wife back because I feel that she's the love of my life. We also have two beautiful kids together. I love my wife so much it hurts me not being able to hold her, touch her, smell her, and kiss her. To my wife, I'm sorry for all the hurt that I've caused and hope one day you can forgive me. I love you my wife. I love you!!!!!

Wow! Your story is similar to mine. I was married 11 years as well and my husband was verbally and emotionally abusive... he says, due to his pill addiction. I couldn't do it anymore and we divorced 2 years ago. He has never stopped pursuing me and telling me his love for me.. we have 2 beautiful kids together and so we are in constant contact. I want to believe he is changed, but the fear of things returning to the way they were is overwhelming! He says I will always be the only one for him.. but a lot has happened.. including an affair I had during and after the divorce.. that resulted in the birth of a son 5 months old. Yet he still loves me and a accepts my son... I just am so afraid to dive back in to a situation that was harmful to me and my children. Is love enough?? Can all be healed?

Im pretty sure a God that is able to raise the dead is able to heal a broken marriage regardless of the situation if we trust Him completely. I know he is able to give us the unconditional love we desire and heal our broken hearts.

I don't know if this will help anyone but it might help me close this chapter of my life. I first saw my ex in Feb of 2001 and instantly feel in love with her. We had a rocky relationship from the start but I think that might have been what I loved most about her she wasn't scared to let me know what was on her mind that's the way I am as well. I've been in the service for 16 years now so she did put up with fair share of crap from me and the US DoD. When I came home in 2006 from Iraq I had a feeling that she had changed...... Come to find out it was me. I started to think that she had been cheating on me she seemed so distant but now I know it wasn't her it was I that pushed her away. If she did cheat on me I've never been able to prove it. We got devorced in 2008 but she left in about 7 months befor that. I have been in a lot of relationships and most have ended badly. I started thinking that all females were crazy but as I age and mature I now now that I'm to blame I still love her and that stands in the road of me truly loving another. I'm in a good relationship now and she has shown me a lot about myself I'm scared to death that my love for my ex will get in the road in future. I can't say with certainty that I would or would not recencile with my ex if given the chance. I hope this all isn't an inamenent ramble from a middle aged military guy. Thanks for reading this

I met my beautiful wife almost 10 years ago. I still love her more and more everyday. We have a 6 year old daughter together. We just finalized our divorce. She said she wanted to be free, and felt like she was missing something out there, and off she went. We had stopped all communication from eachother (with the exception of texting dates and times of visitation). This went on for 9 months. I dated other women, it was never the same, after a while I just gave up with the dating convinced that I could never hold another relationship on account of the feelings that I have for her. I began to finally focus on myself and my daughter, I even began talking to a nurse that I really liked, we got along great. Then she came back in May 2011 with speak of reconciling. I agreed, broke up with the nurse, and then she backed out. since then we still see eachother on and off, always on her terms. She uses me as somewhat of a yo yo and I feel terrible. I dont even bother dating because I know what will happen. Even if its just a week I can spend with my two girls again, I will easily give up everything to do so. It sucks, I now have a roommate who is a good friend of mind, we moved in with eachother to make ends meet. I work out on a regular, even went back to school, doing great at my job, however, Im completley depressed. I still long for the life I once had, and it seems that nothing but that life can make me happy. I know she will keep stringing me along until she feels she finds someone better. But I guess for some; the sting of the bee is worth settling for if you can no longer taste the honey. I miss her like crazy everyday, she knows it and doesnt care. Yet, she still continues to sleep with me, have family outing with our daughter and ect. this goes on for about 2-3 weeks until she seems to grow bored and dump me again. only to return in another month. It slowly driving me insane.

I wish I had advice, but I don't; just a story. I also divorced my wife of 2 1/2 years due to me doing everything I could to make her happy, but her bipolar disorder and alcoholism just too much overtook the amazing side of her and turned her into someone scary and very mean; like some of you said, verbally abusive, belittling, and now that I find out the truth that she moved from Albuquerque to NW Arkansas that the man she said was a married friend from High School she actually married two months after the finalization of our divorce, that she may have also been unfaithful. She went to visit him more than once during our marriage. I met the guy when he came to Albuquerque in U-Haul to get her and her things. I don't know what kind of guy he really is, though. We never had children together which I guess is a good thing. I am working on adopting on my own. She did thank me for everything I've done for her after it was finalized, and apologized for everything she said and did to me, and even after she admitted to me over the phone that she got remarried, she tole me she still loved me and will always have a special place in her heart for me. I told her I felt the same way even after everything she said and did to me. I was so tempted to drop the petition for divorce, and even ask her to stay and try again but as a couple living separate and not remarry until I adopt on my own and it looks like she reformed completely and permanently; not just temporarily and then relapse like she had during the marriage more than once. Her kids love me, her family loves me. I know we can still be friends even long distance. She told me I was still family. But it does break my heart to see how she ran into her 3rd marriage that quickly. I know I could have been a victim of much more if we tried again this quickly, but it still isn't easy. I do sometimes feel guilty for not being patient enough for her to change. I know only God can change someone and He gives free will. I prayed and still pray it happens for her. I do want her to be happy and successful. I just wish I could have been the one to make her happy, and full time, not just part time like during the marriage, no matter what I did for her. The only thing I could suggest to anyone struggling with the loss of a marriage which I do regularly is find and attend church-ba<x>sed support groups for the divorced, separated and widowed in your area. In Albuquerque, I attend a group called DOVES that the Catholic diocese here puts on. They are every-other Monday or Tuesday depending on location in the city/metro area. Other denominations offer support groups like that to. You'd just have to look up the offers in your area. God bless everyone. Thanks for listening everyone. I know others can relate.

I wish I had advice, but I don't; just a story. I also divorced my wife of 2 1/2 years due to me doing everything I could to make her happy, but her bipolar disorder and alcoholism just too much overtook the amazing side of her and turned her into someone scary and very mean; like you said, verbally abusive, belittling, and now that I find out the truth that she moved from Albuquerque to NW Arkansas that the man she said was a married friend from High School she actually married two months after the finalization of our divorce, that she may have also been unfaithful. She went to visit him more than once during our marriage. I met the guy when he came to Albuquerque in U-Haul to get her and her things. I don't know what kind of guy he really is, though. We never had children together which I guess is a good thing. I am working on adopting on my own. She did thank me for everything after it was finalized, and even after she admitted to me over the phone that she got remarried, she tole me she still loved me and will always have a special place in her heart for me. I told her I felt the same way even after everything she said and did to me. I was so tempted to drop the petition for divorce, and even ask her to stay and try again but as a couple living separate and not remarry until I adopt on my own and it looks like she reformed completely and permanently; not just temporarily and then relapse like she had during the marriage. Her kids love me, her family loves me. I know we can still be friends even long distance. But it does break my heart to see how she ran into her 3rd marriage that quickly. I know I could have been a victim of much more if we tried again this quickly, but it still isn't easy. The only thing I could suggest to anyone struggling with the loss of a marriage which I do regularly is find and attend church-ba<x>sed support groups for the divorced, separated and widowed in your area. In Albuquerque, I attend a group called DOVES that the Catholic diocese here puts on. They are every-other Monday or Tuesday depending on location in the city/metro area. Other denominations offer support groups like that to. You'd just have to look up the offers in your area. God bless everyone.

My wife got frustrated with our marriage of 10 years with three kids and decided to be with her ex-boyfriend from age 13. We have been divorced for over a year and she seemed to want to try getting the family back together but she could not regain feelings for me - as hard as she tried. I see her frequently and she has decided to go back to the old boyfriend once more. He is always there for her. My kids and I are devastated (more me) and I know I will forever hope our paths come back together. I know from reading comments like these it is ok to remain hopeful - but I need to enjoy life now with my kids when I have them - and let new love in.

my beautiful wife divorced me 3 years ago,and i still see her every day,we were married for 23 years and had 3 wonderful children,at the time i did not care,but im more in love with her now than i ever was and despite all the trying to win her back,she just wants to be friends,i miss her so much it kills me,yet we still do things together,and are going abroad at the end of october.thers nothing phisical between us,but there is still something there,but she obviously does not feel the same way,im not the same man i was then,she even said that,but i wont give up trying not while i have breath in my body,i just cant seem to stop loving her,and would give anything to win her heart

I love my ex Soooooo Much and its been 2.5 years since our divorce and I recently saw her and my friend spoke not nice about her i fought with him i still and all my life will adoreeeee her to death. I wanna die and go to heaven so i can be with her again. :(

Your story is similar to mine. My wife and me have been quarelling and remained ourselves separated for 12 years but we could feel that we are missing one another. We have 3 children. At one stage we have decided to reconcil ourselves and now back to our previous married life. But the precious and golden time which was elapsed in between can not be taken back. Therefore my sincere advise to you friends that try to save our marriage. FIRST WIFE IS ALWAYS THE BEST AND FIRST HUSBAND IS ALWAYS THE BEST !! This is an universal truth. Good Luck..

i've been with my wife (ex) 23years!..now i'm heart broken. i've been with othier girls.but its not the same!..she left me for a boyfriend that she had when she was 15years old an he was 19teen ....we were just divorced like a month ago....an she still lives with me an still seeing him...my mind goes pretty crazy here at home...i dont know what to do....could somebody out there help me!?....i pray an pray to god to get her out of my heart!

I can relate.

Wow. I'm looking at these comments and I'm seeing 8 years, 9 years. It's only been four months for me and the divorce was just finalized this month. God! Is this what I'm in for? I don't want this!

Wow. I'm looking at these comments and I'm seeing 8 years, 9 years. It's only been four months for me and the divorce was just finalized this month. God! Is this what I'm in for? I don't want this!

Boy can I relate to this, I am scared that my feelings for her will get in the way for the rest of my life. I'm sorry I can't add anything positive at this point, as I am in the same boat. Best of luck to you, let me know if you figure out how to turn it off!

Hi lifegirl,thanks for your comment.Good luck to you aswell.

Don't forget to enjoy your life though JAL, don't put it on hold.<br />
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:-)

Thanks for the comments...<br />
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bebitz,I feel for you.Your love for your late husband will I am sure be with you always,and hes memory will always live on in your heart.<br />
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womaninbliss,thanks for sharing and I agree with the saying never say never.<br />
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Both of your comments are very positive.A lot of people would just say move on,but love is so strong. I will never give up in being back with her.

I meant to add the time span involved, it is 19 years since we separated and 15 since we divorced.

I relate to this very much. When my first husband and I separated after 13 years, we said that it was just a trial and that we were just testing the ground. I moved in with my lover shortly after that but still used to see my husband from time to time, spending the night together occasionally. Months went by, then a year and our meetings became less frequent. After about a year and a half I moved abroad with my lover and two years later became pregnant. It wasn't until I was pregnant with my lover's child that my husband really took it on board that we wouldn't get back together. He became depressed and we hardly had any contact at all. Some years later he met my daughter and seemed to have come to terms with what had happened. He had met and married someone himself too at that stage. A few years ago, he started texting me again - usually in the middle of the night - usually just three words - I love you. <br />
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He's stopped now and I don't really hear from him any more, only just to let me know any family news or to wish me a merry Christmas or happy birthday.<br />
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I have no conscious intention of ever getting back with him. However, I could imagine a time in the future, if we were both alone, when we might get together again, for companionship and who knows what else? <br />
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I think a strong bond never truly dies. We were both first loves and teenage sweethearts and shared so much. I considered myself to be privileged to be loved so much by someone, and truly sad that I couldn't reciprocate when he needed me to.<br />
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Human beings are complex creatures. Never say never. But I would say to JAL not to put your life on hold. Enjoy what you have. If you are meant to get back with your wife, it will happen in time, but don't wait and miss what the rest of your life has to offer.

I can really relate to your story, I am not divorced, I am a widow and still in love with my late husband. I have also dated but it really never works out because of my feelings for my late husband. It must be so hard for you seeing your ex-wife so often and not being able to hold her or tell her how you feel. I know others would say to try to move on but love is hard to just turn on and off. If you still love her maybe there can still be a chance to get back together, even if she is with someone else, you never know what life holds in store for you. Hang in there.