How Do You Stop Loving Any Way?
It is clear that for whatever reason, beyond my control, that my ex-wife chose not to be married to me any longer. I still work with her, and my heart melts each and every time I see her in the morning. I guess my point is, even though she has rejected me, started seeing an old flame right away, has been honest to the point of brutality, and wants a lot of space between us, I would still do anything for her. Her appearance is still angelic to me, I love to hear her on the phone, I got the chance to rescue her from being broken (automobile trouble) down in a parking lot the other night and it made my day. I know I am dealing with some codependent behaviors and identity issues along this journey, but true love it was. I was enamored with her brilliance and beauty for three years before there was ever a chance of "we" and after 8 years of a wonderful relationship, I am right back where I started. She obviously does not feel the same way, so it feels very unfair for me to still be so dedicated in my heart. I know I have to get beyond this, but my question is. How do you deal with the place she holds in your heart and ever be fair and equitable to another. I think it will never be the same, but I hope for as good, the problem is, I'm afraid of what I might do in the future, were she to ever call on me. I was afraid I would spend the rest of my life missing her when I thought there was no chance, and now I am afraid again. Maybe she is magic, maybe she is my kryptonite. I still adore her as much as ever. Is this real, am I an emotional sucker, can you fall out of love with the one and only? They say time heals, I wish I had a fast forward button. I'm afraid she will always be my beautiful angel.