Still Love My Ex Wife

Where to begin ? Well let  me start like this in life you get a chance at meeting people who can change your life make it better then it was or make it alot worst.When i met my irish angel it was love at first sight the color of her eyes her touch they way she felt in my arms !That was 14yrs ago and i still smell her perfume right now the texture of her hair any ways u get it was in love still am!Well she was married at the time in a mixed marriage[her white him black] 2 small children 8-2 yrs i met her at a friends wedding i myself was in a 6 yr relationship we danced had fun talked ect.Next day she called told me she had a great time and i said as well we should stay in touch! a week went by then on a saturday i got a call from her it was the first and last call i ever needed from that moment i started to fall we started a phone thing which led to a meetings thing at the time i did not know her husband had become ill he had an anurizem brain. And past well she called we talked[3hrs] u see i lived across state the following weekend as luck would have it it rained her roof leaked she called i came and never left!!theres  more but thats the pic in short now where im at now over the next 10 yrs i started a semi succuessful biz  but with a bad accountant and me always working not paying attention to both my marriage and my biz.Things started to slip she stuck by me the days i was a ahole verbaly&sometimes i got out of control [u get the pic] she ask me to get counseling but would not to prideful thought well i can do this on my own!!! biggest mistake well second biggest mistake first was not listening to the women who loved me! so in to are last yrs of being together the kids are now 22-19 one decided to date a drug dealer low life dropped out of college so that was a hot topic kicked her out many 3 times the third she never came back moved in with him in the inner city.Begged for her to come back she wanted to start her life with him[well now she has she just had my first grandchild]the kid was not there for her she needs to figure this out on her own life lesson! theres more but later when i wrap it up.

Now my youngest daughter[step] she is my hellen my thorn if you will !!both of my children an my ex are my bouqiue of beautiful roses i love them so.But the youngest is very head strong i taught both of them to say what you mean mean what you say and stand up for your selfs!Well one day while droping off one of her girlfriends she hits me from left field dad how do u get girls to like you? well what  boy needs help no dad i like [the girl i just dropped off] so an so WHAT!!!!! train wreck in my head !!! what i said to her was excuse me !!!! well that day was hard we struggled i said something later that i did not mean and told her later i did not mean it and i respect her and its her choice! MORE LATERNow on to the end that made my wife my ex my children not want to talk to me right now ect.Well as men we sometimes dont see the big picture untill its to late my ways an actions were not right and i see that more clearly now i  excused her of cheating so many times call her n-lover all the crap that men sometimes do when there out of control this was the verbal.Now there where 2 men that where calling the house looking for her dead husband but they would call and ask for her aswell even though i we told them hes gone .Well then she took a night job part time at are lodge this started a big period of resentment for me if she was not working she was up there playing cards or running here there everywhere with friends! So this perpetuated the spirirel out of control she all the way until i left wanted to save the marriage but now shes see someone else he does not ***** or you know first stages of a relationship i will leave it at that you see she started dateing him she sayes 6 monthes after are seperation she stay with him alot or so it seem she is with him she tells me things that rip me in half [shes my soulmate] theres more but if folks want will tell the rest later.Now onto my kids since leaveing everthing i fortold yrs ago has happened young kids have move into the home dope partys wifes never there ect. my youngest moved out started a life with her girlfriend is working ect love them girls!! i went to jail for a domestic assualt and fa on my wife for 8 monthes have a yr long ppo up in april   you see i lost control though my wife was cheating my daughter dateing a dope loser my youngest telling me she was gay my biz was rough [although i had 800,000 in work comeing in before this all happened] lost all that we talk on the phone she says she still loves me but only wants frienship nothing more then she will text me and say give me time so i dont know we still get hot when we talk only because of him.iIdont even know if theres somebody i believe there is but who knows she seems like she confused then she seems certain i dont know .

I love them and her shes my soulmate we make mistakes she says she gave me to many chances and is not prepared to give me any more right now just friendship.But the person then is not the man i am now im takeing classes ,counseling ,marriage,and working on me inside and out going to church totaly have done a 180 its along journey to retrust but i know i can do it takes time i know  already told her i can forgive as she has told me we never can forget i will work hard on that and to be a better man for my love for her and the girls is pure im affraid the longer she with him the less my chances are  it my first marriage . Thank you for listening any thoughts will help greatly are divorce was finall 1-11-10 i would love to have her back in my life any help would be really accepted thank you.   

Tiny64 Tiny64
41-45, M
2 Responses Feb 23, 2010

Have you checked out EXaholics.com? They're a great resource.

just read this. How are things coming along for you? Your post was a bit hard to read, I read it twice and i'm not sure i got the entire story straight. Did she give you another chance?