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Jan 17th, 2008
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I
am divorced. I am a single mother and this is my story.
My marriage was DOA .It had all kinds of wrong written all over it but I thought I was superwoman and could conquer the impossible. It took me forever to realize I had married the wrong guy, it took me another forever to make up my mind to leave him. It has taken me a long time to get over the separation plus the divorce. I had to battle depression, anxiety and social pressure. I thought for a while that was not going to be possible.
But time heals everything, even the deepest wounds, and now I feel I made the right choice. I cant imagine how I put up with that misery for so long, but now , ( the ever famous hindsight ) is letting me see where I went wrong and why I should never miss having a man like that in my life.
It´s been quite a long story, but with a happy ending.
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  | Posted Jan 23rd, 2008 at 4:29PM Just because you got it wrong with one man, doesn't mean that there isn't someone with whom you could get it right. Don't stop looking. +3 nods   |
 | Posted Mar 31st, 2008 at 7:36PM I don't really know you personally, but from what I can tell you are a very smart strong minded person. I hope nothing but the best for you UC. You are such a great person. |
 | Posted Jan 28th, 2009 at 11:32AM Five Important Tips For Women. 1. It's important that a man helps out around the house, and has a good job. 2. It's important that a man makes you laugh. 3. It's important to find a man you can count on and will never lie to you. 4. It's important that a man loves you passionately, satisfies you completely, and spoils you with expensive gifts. 5. It's VERY important that these four men don't know each other. +8 nods |
 | Posted Jan 30th, 2009 at 1:20PM It sucks that it takes us so long to realize something quite obvious but at least we do eventually. Congrats on your bravery! And you're right, time works wonders although the scars never fade. Nevertheless, going through difficult times & still surviving gives us confidence in the future - we know now that no matter what happens, we can make it sooner or later. +3 nods |
 | Posted Jan 31st, 2009 at 11:08AM The worst mistake is to fall into self pity. I have been there going on three years since the divorce, and I want to tell you it does get better soon. |
 Feeling sick | Posted Jan 31st, 2009 at 11:17AM Thanks misasja, yes time indeed works wonders !!! and its very nice when we look back and realize we have come such a long way !! GND, I think it was Wilde who said; Ah!! self pity, the only kind of pity that really counts !!! But you are right fallling and staying in self pity mode doesnt help. We should just throw a pity party once and move on..... if it just were that easy !! |
| Posted Jan 31st, 2009 at 11:25AM I wish it had been. I took a year of my life. Then one day you realize WTF am I doing, and get up on the rode again. I would have done it differently but **** we are all human and as much as I would have loved not to feel hurt it overcame me. |
| Posted Jan 31st, 2009 at 11:27AM I think that we fall into self-pity because we don't recognize our responsibility for our life & actions. We blame something or someone else outside of us for the cause of our misery. As soon as we realize that, first - all the challenges in our lives are gifts & opportunities to grow; and second - we need to acknowledge the reigns in our own hands - self-pity will be inappropriate & waste of energy. We don't accept the idea that whatever happens is our own making & that takes the responsibility off of us, which in turn makes us pity ourselves & feel more & more miserable. |
Feeling sick | Posted Jan 31st, 2009 at 11:33AM I totally understand, been there......done that. Other people handle it differently. I was just too sad and overwhelmed for a long period of time but once I had my moment of clarity things changed, and they changed for the better. Looking back on it I owe this sad episode of my life the strength and courage I have found in myself and the best gift life could have ever given me, my darling little daughter. |
 Feeling shocked | Posted Jan 31st, 2009 at 12:06PM I'm glad you're out of that mess. You and your daughter are better off, as you know. So many people don't get that moment of clarity, and sometimes when they do they don't have the strength or means to do anything about it. Self pity is fine - for a bit. Wallowing is fine - for a bit. But if there's a way, then it's time to move on. +2 nods |
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