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I am divorced. I am a single mother and, this is my story.

My marriage was honestly D.O.A. It had all kinds of wrong written all over it but I thought I was superwoman and I could conquer the impossible. 
It took me forever to realize I had married the wrong guy, it took me another forever to make up my mind to leave him.
It has taken me a long time to get over the separation plus the divorce.
I´ve had to battle to overcome depression, anxiety and social pressure. I thought for a while that was not going to be possible.

But time heals everything, yes, even the deepest wounds and now I feel I made the right choice.

I can´t imagine how I put up with that misery for so long but 
, the ever famous hindsight is letting me see where I went wrong and why I should never miss having a man like that in my life.

It´s been quite a long story but with a Happy Ending. 

underconstruction underconstruction 41-45, F 46 Responses Jan 17, 2008

Your Response


That's amazing good story welcome to the single world lol

Finding self is the beginning of all happiness. We too often attempt to define ourselves through the eyes of others. The problem is you can't force yourself into a mold that was not meant for you. Nor can we ever expect another to change their mold to fit us. We have to first be who we are and allow others to accept and love us as we are. That is where happiness begins. I love that name UnderConstruction...

Congratulations to the new you. I went through the same process. I didn't want to leave but absolutely knew I had to for my own sanity and piece of mind. I had the ups and downs just as you did.....I am in a great place now in life and looking forward to the future.

I've been single since febuary. I wasn't married to my ex but I was with her for fifteen years. I want to move on but I have no friend's except the ones I have here. I have made myself over into the man that I used to be plus the man I am know. I'm a heck of a lot stronger mentally and physically then in the past. What do you recommend construction? Do I keep working on me ?

I am a new man know and feel great. For once in my life I'm bettering myself for no one else but me so I can be a better version and a better dad.

Yes,time does heal a lot:)
Glad you are in a happier place!

Here's to a happy and fulfilled future!

Most marriages are cages for marriages where they put love, good that u escape

Hi miss,

How are you? How's life going?

may i ask what is it like being a single mother?

WHo fixes things at your place? :)

Very happy ending, im glad that you have sorted things out in your life and that your moving on, have an awesome life and what ever you do just be you. See you around.

That's wonderful! What made you finally decide to take the final step to leave and that it was enough?

Divorce can be hard but when you realize you deserve a better, happier life and build the strength to go through it to better yourself and your life it does set you free...Enjoy your life and find things that make you happy, Never put yourself second....Congratulations.....!!!!!

Happy for you to made a wise choice eventually.How's everything going Ma'am?Hope all fine.

I'm glad for you... and best of luck for your new life. I can see that this story was written in 2008 and I hope you are doing better now.<br />
<br />
However, there is something that bothers me - the plate about two comments below me... is he for real?

You are inspiring I could not have said it better. It seams that there is a pattern and in between is a void that needs to be fixed hopefully at start up. Human whisper

I'm glad you were able to move on! My marriage was DOA also... and I wonder if I will ever have the strength to leave.

I am so inspired by your story. I am in a relationship with someone i need to get out of. And yes i had my moment of clarity a while back, like what am i doing. I see my future ahead of me, but i have not yet found the strength to move on. Its my fear that is holding me back. Fear of what ifs, and because he is bipolar, im afraid to leave and he is going to find me or something. I know i have the courage, its just being blocked. I don't say i wallow in self pity, i know i am responsible for my own actions. But is he, no. He is not responsible and has no compassion or no love only for himself. I see that, have spent years trying to help him, but only found myself drowning in his misery. I am bringing myself out of that whole step by step and i give you so much credit for being strong and leaving. I will be there sometime and i hope to share my story as well, and hopefully be able to inspire someone to make their life better. Congrats!

awesome, congrats on your new, happier life!

I'm glad that you made it through the rough times you lived in terrible marriage then being a single mother. I am striving to save my newly marriage and make our baby live in healthy envirenment but my wife doesn't care

This is great! You made it out!! I am going through that too! It has taken me the last three years to decide to leave! I can't believe it, because I should have never believed the lies. Good luck and I hope you find the happiness you deserve!

Yes Superwoman we all make mistakes. Some take longer than others to make an adjustment. The adjustment takes some getting used to. You are far younger than I in this respect and should work out real nice for you. <br />
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I am still working on the adjustment. Gettin' better.

Thank you and repeating the appropriate title to this story :<br />
<br />
YAY !!!!!!!!!!

Thank you all for your kind words and good wishes.<br />
<br />
I am certainly in a much better place now and as time goes I realize leaving that unhappy marriage was the best decision I could have ever made.<br />
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All my best to you all as well :-)

You go GIRL! My marriage started on the wrong foot, started limping and collapsed recently. I'm emerging from the rubble though and it's weird to say this but I NEEDED this soul shaking experience for me to grow up and face all of my issues. I'm such a different person now and working towards being spiritually stronger instead of cowering in the face of truth as I once did. With every day that passes, I leave a little bit more of the fear/anxiety/darkness behind and gain a little bit more love/optimism/light. Everything is going to be okay after all :)

I'm glad you're happy, I think you're an inspiration, more people should live for happiness rather than routine

CONGRATULATIONS!!!... for your successful journey so far!!!

Good for you,move on and don't even thank of going back. It would kill you and your family. I thank it is good to take your time no matter how old you are. I too went through that for only 3yrs. and got a divorce with the help of my boss and good friends. Enjoy your life!!!!!

Way to go Ms.underconstruction, u have a strong foundation now :) good luck from now on, things will only get better for you.Love and peace :)

Yea! Good for you.

Well I guess that describes mine too - bad start and no recovery, and now no intimiacy either... after 5 years, only 2 living together, it really feels over...

Thank you all for your encouraging comments :-)<br />
<br />
Yes, by D.O.A I meant a relationship not a person and it means exactly Dead on Arrival (as in , my marriage started on the wrong foot and then it all went downhill from there).