Divorce Survivor

My wife filed for divorce a few years ago, thinking that she was just going to kick me out of our family and get sole custody of our kids. Not happening! I fought for a year and a half and she finally relented and agreed to a 50/50 custody arrangement. I spent my life savings on the lawyers and had to borrow money on top of that. I got to keep the house, since the mortgage is upside down she didn't want it. I also got to keep the IRS debt and pay off her credit card, plus pay generous child support because she makes less than I do. Thanks!

Now I am just trying to survive. I wear old ripped clothing and eat PB&J sandwiches and rice so that I can afford the kids' day care when they're out of school this summer so that I can work. Meanwhile the ex has a new car, new TV, smartphone, cable, la de da! I don't want any of that stuff, but my god I could put that money to so much better use... I could put it in the kids' college fund, for one thing. I could enroll them in activities or sports. They don't get to do any of that stuff as it is because we can barely eat and she'd rather [Laudatory terms as required by divorce agreement]. The kids need new clothes and I haven't even figured out where that's going to come from yet, but I'll make it happen somehow.

I don't even blame my ex-wife for this... she's [Laudatory terms], but the real problem is the system. The system has made me an indentured servant so that she doesn't ever have to have a moment of discomfort in her life. It is absolutely infuriating. I can't regret marrying her because it produced our two kids. But if I knew then what I know now, my god I would have made sure I had some money stashed away. Like anyone else, I thought it would never happen to me.

But you know what? I am going to work my way out of this. I am [Laudatory terms] than her. My kids will know what honor and dignity are because I stood by them when times got tough and I never broke the law or shirked my responsibilities. And no government nanny was there to take money out of other people's pockets for me. I am doing this on my own and I am proud of it. I hope my kids will understand this someday, but even if they don't it means something to me. It's what keeps me going.

Note: original version edited for laudatory terms.
insanitypepper insanitypepper
2 Responses May 10, 2012

Edited for laudatory terms. Thanks for the kind words everyone. As you can see I have some bitterness to work through but it feels really good to rant every once in a while. <br />
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The child support, at least in the state I live in, is ba<x>sed on how much you make as well as where the kids spend their time. Not sure if it's like that everywhere, but yeah it's a royal screw job. I could have fought it, and who knows maybe I could have gotten it reduced but you have to pay lawyers to do that and I was out of money.

Guess I don't understand the child support issue if there is a 50/50 custody, but heck the courts have been sticking it to men for ages. Yes, it is hard to keep your cool when she is living large and you are just hanging on. I have seen the same situation with single divorced mom's. I have been in your shoes twice. The kids are all grown now and on their own, I still help some when a crisis happens in their life. You will get there in time. <br />
I wish you the very best.