I Am Divorced

Starting Over After Divorce

By: faith7777

Written on February 20th, 2013

Wow I can't believe I'm starting over....in my upper 30's. My husband had a string of afairs, took everything we had in exchange for full custudy of our only child. I know I can do this but I have no idea how to make new friends and just move on. I have a good job and a great kid, but that takes all my time. I feel very alone I don't know what to do at this point. My ex has dated everyone in town and it's just uncomfortable to be out. He seems to be friends with everyone and I have no one. Does anyone feel this way. Does it get better? Just looking for some hope. Do women in the late 30's early 40's really have a second chance...I'm buying a house and work seems to be going well. I just have no personal life at all. I would love to feel ok again. My child is only 10 and has had such a hard time adjusting to this. He seems so sad and angry sometimes. It seems like its getting a little better but I really wish I could help him more. I feel like a joke. People tend to point out how well hes doing and how happy he is. It's almost like he's done a great thing and is being honored. I have just a few people around me who know how he really is and try to help me understand but I'm not sure they do. I beleive in god and I think thats the only thing keeping me sane. I feel so hurt and alone. What happens now....

repost from March 2012

By: faith7777

Age: 36-40 , Female

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13 responses

lostinmyownhome

What happens now is, you start enjoying your life. I am in a similar situation, been divorced for one year, after a three-year separation. I am happy, but, like you, I do not have a personal life yet. If time allows, start getting out of the house, socialize when you can. I wish I could volunteer, or take a night class, but work will not allow it. I work a lot of overtime, and have a mandatory 24-hour on-call schedule to keep. I know it doesn't sound easy, but start doing things that make you happy, spend a lot of time with your son, do things that make him happy. And remember, happy people are attractive people. Good luck to you, I hope you start feeling ok very soon.

Mar 10
2 likes
- faith7777
  thank you for understand... I wish you all the best as well. Hang in there..
  
  Mar 10
  1 like
extrbusydad

It does get better,put your faith in God,watch over your boy.I,ve been through the same sorta thing with my ex (in a small town) ,eventually people forget the drama ,and move on to the next new drama that comes up.

Mar 10
1 like
GodisLOVE19

im 22 going thru divorce, :( but heck in God's Love We can Do it! :) <3

Feb 23
1 like
- faith7777
  yes we can... thanks
  
  Feb 23
  1 like
tymetorelax

Just keep the faith, it will get better! Keep smiling and you will be alright..sounds like your heading in the right direction.

Feb 21
1 like
- faith7777
  thank you, I do feel better about it all the time. It's just been a wild ride....lol..
  
  Feb 21
  1 like
2momcrew

I agree with Sadgirl121. Find stuff to do. I became part of a group I never would have thought I'd be a part of--roller derby! These women are awesome and I know they have my back. My ex did terrible things to me. He tried to take my friends. They finally figured him out and I now have a whole bunch of friends, both old and new. Shoot me a message. I understand you. One day at a time.

Feb 21
1 like
Sadgirl121

Also try and find time by eg dropping things of ur to do list, it doesn't matter if 1 day u guys just eat sandwiches in the evening or the house doesnt get cleaned....plus c if those close to u can help

Feb 20
2 likes
- faith7777
  Thank you
  
  Feb 20
  1 like
Sadgirl121

I am sorry to hear u feel isolated. I am 33, no kids, out of a10 year relationship, 8 being married...
He bought me a puppy prior to breaking up with me, I can't bear to part with this innocent little soul - I know it's a dog...
Felt like u did, still feel like it, I think it takes time, u have to initiate contact with ppl, make a list of old friends u lst contact with and try and get in touch - u will probably be surprised that some will b happy to hear from u, add to this activities u like (d) and c if u can join groups to get in touch with ur old hobbies and meet like minded ppl
I am at the start still and it hurts to b single and to know ppl r more important to me than I am to them as they have their families...but that is life....
Try an activity with ur little boy even just evening a week, maybe until u have found something u want to regularly do...it will give him experience of trying loads of things, confidence to walk into a room full of strangers and u both will get to see sides of each other u may not know about plus finally a routine of doing x every Monday night....gradually add in more and I really pray for u both it will work...
Sorry if I preach, state the obvious or stupid, as I said I have no kids but I came out of a relationship where I now realise he cut me off from family friends, then told me I have no friends, no hobbies, and I am ugly now and all I di pd was teach him how to read more books....I am a rubbish cook, housekeeper, everything....he tried his level best to break me....funnily enough I now realise but not quite believe that I am soooooo much better than him

Feb 20
2 likes
- faith7777
  Thank you, and I'm sorry to hear your going through the same thing. I had actually wrote this back in March of last year.... posted it for awhile and then deleted it after I trusted the wrong person...it was like feeling the rejection all over again.... I will take your advice to heart....try some new things. I just really need to watch who I trust, but lesson learned... thank you again.
  
  Feb 20
  1 like
- Sadgirl121
  Oh ok, I hope things have improved for u since then. I also have trust issues ;-(
  
  Feb 20
  1 like

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