2 Yrs and 2 Months and 17 Days Divorced

My divorce was final on Dec. 1, 2006.  If I didn't share a child with this man, I would never talk to him again.  We share custody and placement.  I divorced him for being abusive towards me, among other reasons.  Turns out he is a good father, but was a lousy husband.  He has been irresponsible with his finances still.  But he is figuring out he has to show up at work in order to get paid.  He recently got an eviction notice for two water bills he failed to pay last year.  Now it's the management company that charges him, not the utility place.  They recently bombarded him with two water bills for this year.  Now my ex does not make a lot of money.  He is lucky to pay his rent and have gas and food.  Now I do have my opinions on his shopping habits or his eating out habits, however I can't fight with him on this.  Sometimes people never change.  Okay, my deal with this eveiction notice is that if he got evicted he would have no options.  I know he does not have the money to find another place, and no friends to move in with.  So would I want him to live here until he was able to get another place?  Not in a MILLION years.  If he had no place to live then he would have no place to keep my daughter over night.  I would be out of luck and would have to have her full time.  I have fibromyalgia and do not always feel well, so sometimes having my very active 5 yr old is challenging.  So what did I do?  I gave him the money to pay the bills that caused him the eviction notice.  And as I was handing him the damn cash for the water bills, he told me he was gonna have to go grocery shopping with money he didn't have to spend.  So what did I do?  My dumbass gave him grocery money too.  I can't help but kick myself in the *** for marrying him in the first place, having a child that binds me to him until she's 18, and then giving him money to help him out.  I feel like sometimes I have limited choices with dealing with him.  So this time when I gave him that chunk of money, I told him I owned his ***.  I told him that whenever I need the garbage taken out he was gonna do it.  If I needed heavy things moved, He was gonna do it.  If I needed him to take our daughter an extra night, he was gonna do it.  So where does this leave me?  I am still kicking myself in the *** for the money thing, but atleast I can get him to take the garbage out for me.  So was this a win win situation, or was it a situation where he won and I lost? I honestly don't know.

 

starprincess starprincess
31-35, F
1 Response Feb 17, 2009

What a moving story starprincess, and you have a good heart. i would not have kicked yourself in the butt for helping him out. it hard to get out of a marriage for both parties. i would'nt help him all the time mind you but it was not bad that you helped. he really needs to step up and take care of himself before he turns into a user.