For years I knew my husband was abusive. I listened to all these voices in our culture that say things like "no one's perfect", "you should see what I have to put up with", "part of what women put up from husbands" and other stupid comments.

My husband has almost never had more than a minimum wage job. He was very controlling. I went back to school and got a career and made money for us. He liked spending my money but complained constantly that I was not domestic enough for him.

In his family women are perfect housekeepers. Some of them can barely read or write, but who cares - they know "a woman's role". No one has ever graduated from college in his family.

We were living in a drug infested neighborhood. We heard gunfire every day. He didn't think anything of this. But I said "our family cannot live this way". When I got a better job we moved into a safe neighborhood.

None of that was good enough for him. His controlling abusive ways are disgusting. Of course, all while spending my money.

I wasted a lot of years with this monster. Don't do this. If you see these patterns, get a divorce and don't wait. I am still young enough to do something with my life but just barely.


celestial celestial
46-50, F
7 Responses Jan 30, 2007

In fact, primary reason of your divorce is Money. It is all about MONEY. Every woman expects her husband should make more money than her. Your frustration grew up day by day , because he spent your money.Controlling ? But, I think it is the secondary reason. These days , most women marry for money. It's true :)

Your story is an echo of mine... I so understand and share your feelings. Good for you for getting out.

Morning Celestial, <br />
Be very proud you have come a long way. I also had an x husband that was very close to what you are saying. I have been divorced now for about 6yrs the only thing is he has brain washed on of my son's to believe in what he did was right. My son I don't really get to see that much of him for he seems like he is always busy and now married it's even worst. Try to find another woman to be friends with for it just always seems like men want to be friends more then woman. I live in the state of Delaware and still looking for a good friend to chat with and meet up just maybe to go out and have a cup of coffee, lunch , etc.... I do feel I need that for I do not trust men anymore.<br />
<br />

Thanks for your feedback and support<br />

Hi<br />
<br />
My name is Tom Nicholson and I am in the process of creating my website - www.share-my-story.org.uk and would appreciate you would consider including your stories. I will also include a link to your web page and any other info we think could be relevant. If you visit my website you will hopefully appreciate my vision and I want stories like yours to help realise this.<br />
<br />
Best regards<br />
<br />

sounds good Tom. Good luck with your work.

Fantastic and well done you!! Let him go rot.

What an awesome lady! I am proud of you! I am sure your sharing this will help so many others! <br />
You are not old! God can make up for you the time you've lost, you'll see, do not be discouraged, remember the first miracle was all about the best being given last...I admire you, your children and friends surely must be so proud of you! May your week be beautiful!