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Married And Confused

 I have been married for 10 yrs this the 2nd marriage for both of us. I have 2 children from a previous marriage.
my current husband after being together for a yr shared one of his sexual fantasies with me which was participating in a ********* with another male he said he would like to see mewith another man. i was appalled and said no but i have come to learn i that have a co dependant personality and am always finding a need to please others this stems from my childhood i d0 not want people to be unhappy with me or disappointed. so i agreed and thought i did what he wanted he should be happy. I told him i would not participate again and di not.  My marriage was a living hell for the next 8 yrs my husband was possesive, controling and was always accused me of cheating. i have been isolated from everyone I knew. I could no longer take it and didnt know what to do so I decided to resusitate his fantasy and I did he was no longer as mean and controlled and the accusations stopped but I now do not take my marriage seriously and often think of being unfaithful and I now have mustard up the courage to ask for a divorce. i have lost 10 yrs of life. I am 39 yrs and want my freedom he now regrets everything and begs for forgiveness. I do believe he has come to realize his mistakes and is genuinely sorry and makes me feeling guilty for not wanting to stay i honestly cant say that i no longer love him but I want my space i want my freedom. your thoughts please.
lost in marriage 
liveoutloudoxox liveoutloudoxox 36-40 1 Response Oct 7, 2010

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Get out now.<br />
You can seek counselling for your co-dependency- It is not a permanent trait so, you can be taught how to shed it.<br />
Be careful in your next choice of partner and don't let anyone humiliate you. Try always tyo say No. You will be teaching your children valuable lessons.