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Married And Confused

 I have been married for 10 yrs this the 2nd marriage for both of us. I have 2 children from a previous marriage.
my current husband after being together for a yr shared one of his sexual fantasies with me which was participating in a ********* with another male he said he would like to see mewith another man. i was appalled and said no but i have come to learn i that have a co dependant personality and am always finding a need to please others this stems from my childhood i d0 not want people to be unhappy with me or disappointed. so i agreed and thought i did what he wanted he should be happy. I told him i would not participate again and di not.  My marriage was a living hell for the next 8 yrs my husband was possesive, controling and was always accused me of cheating. i have been isolated from everyone I knew. I could no longer take it and didnt know what to do so I decided to resusitate his fantasy and I did he was no longer as mean and controlled and the accusations stopped but I now do not take my marriage seriously and often think of being unfaithful and I now have mustard up the courage to ask for a divorce. i have lost 10 yrs of life. I am 39 yrs and want my freedom he now regrets everything and begs for forgiveness. I do believe he has come to realize his mistakes and is genuinely sorry and makes me feeling guilty for not wanting to stay i honestly cant say that i no longer love him but I want my space i want my freedom. your thoughts please.
lost in marriage 
liveoutloudoxox liveoutloudoxox 36-40 1 Response Oct 7, 2010

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Get out now.

You can seek counselling for your co-dependency- It is not a permanent trait so, you can be taught how to shed it.

Be careful in your next choice of partner and don't let anyone humiliate you. Try always tyo say No. You will be teaching your children valuable lessons.