By: An EP User
Written on February 6th, 2013
I am planning my strategy to leave a 5 year relationship. He yells at me my children throws stuff, most of the time the yelling at me is because someone else did something to make him angry. I see him get excited if the kids do something they aren;t supposed to because he feels justified in yelling at them when this happens. I have even seen him wander around just looking for a reason to be mad, just about everyday when he walks in the door, it is the first thing he does. This is just a small piece of the day to day stuff I deal with, like always waiting on the other shoe to drop the constant feeling of being on a roller coaster. Right now he is being as nice as possible, I think he is suspicious I am planning on leaving. My problem now is I plan to get all of mine and the children things one day while he is at work and not tell him. My guilt for being so sneaky is causing me serious anxiety. The reason for just running away is because the last time I left he was there crying and pleading and promising and I caved, I know it will probably be worse this time since this last year he has spent punishing me for leaving him the first time. So I would like to get some advice am I wrong for just taking off with out a word? I feel sneaky and horrible about it like I am not acting like the adult I am. I know my children are suffering from this relationship and I can not let it continue but I am to scared to look at him and say I am leaving because I believe he will get angry and yell and scream. I am at this point unable to deal with it. Anymore when he starts yelling if feel panicked and my hear starts racing like if I don't fix it something horrific will happen. I am always re-thinking everything I do to make sure I have left nothing out of place so as not to make him angry. Help with suggestions please.