17 Yrs Of Abuse

I am truly sorry you are going through this, I understand all to well. Minus the alcohol my husband has been the same to me. I am doing something about it, you can to. I have learned I make the choices for where I am in my life, if I son't like where I am I am leaving , you can to. There are people out there who will help you, look you will find them. Above all do not blame yourself for his actions, you are worth more, he does not respect you because if he did he would not treat you as he does. I have learned to love myself more, you can too.

My sympathies are with you. there are such psycho men in society who don't realise that they are sick and need to change a lot before deciding to go for marriage. if they cannot change they can spend their life correcting themselves and getting married will do no good to the lady he marries or the children they will have .



again i symathise wih you.



asad.

You sound smarter than me, I left after the same amount of time and after the same kind of treatment, but my husband changed the locks on OUR house. The house that I worked so hard to get built when he said we couldn't do it. Interesting how important it became to him once I left because he wouldn't even think about building one when I used to ask him while I was with him so I organised it myself. And he took it away.



As soon as I left he changed the locks on the house and threatened the kids that if they came with me they'd never see him again. Of course they stayed with him, they didn't want to "lose" him - and they lost me instead because he made sure that they learned to hate me and he prevented me from seeing them.



The law did nothing to protect me no matter how I pleaded because (said the Magistrate) I had no bruises to prove he was violent - after me being in the refuge for about a month.



So he held out in the house with the kids long enough that I realised I couldn't stay in the refuge any longer and had to move into a cheap flat and the showdown I'd been trying to orchestrate was a fizzer and he won. I lost. That was the end. My life was over with my kids.



I continued to work all through this and then the bastard had centrelink garnishee my wages, even though I'd been voluntarily paying him money to support the kids.



He seemed to know just how to hurt me the most. Not only had I lost most of my possessions and my precious children but also made to feel like I was a bad mother who had to have her wages garnisheed because she didn't care less about them.



Well he did such a great job bringing up my babies with hate and anger and fighting in the house that they have grown up to be alcoholics too, just like Dad, and one is even a drug addict and a sociopath! He must be spinning in his grave with pride at what he did to my family.



I don't know any of them because they were taught immediately that I left that I was rotten, no good, didn't love them and selfish and they turned their backs on me.



Now he's dead, but they still won't come near me because he did such a good job of bringing them up to believe that I was no good.



So they've turned out to be great members of society, he'd be really proud. They must be ready to go out and bash their wives and drive their kids insane as he did to them. I mainly have our local legal system to thank for ruining my life. Do I sound a tad bitter?

Seriously you shouldn't blame yourself and you need to stop feeling sorry for him no matter the amount of love you may have left for him.Sometimes people need change to realise that there is so much more to life and its often only when you know you have lost something that you can force yourself to see the error of your ways or the mistakes you have made.Maybe after a month of him waking up alone he will actually be sorry.