That One Time At My Last Job

I just found this email that I CC'd my personal address on after emailing it to a former coworker and it set off a random memory of a day that was both irritating as **** and kinda funny. I'll spare you the whole story, but it was a woman who claimed to be in chemo, and her daughter had ordered something from us as a gift for her.  The call got escalated to me, I did some preliminary research, took down her information, and got off the phone on the pretense that I'd contact her once I found something.  

This is the email I sent to the CSR I had contact her back: 

"[coworker] - Can you give [customer] a call back and let her know that I have absolutely no record of this order.  I checked with [contact at external processor] and they have no record of it as being processed, or even hung up on their end due to NSF or an invalid CVV.  I can't find anything in our merchant reports, anything on our bank deposits, anything in our sales database, nothing.  There is nothing under her name, under her daughter's name, or under her daughter's maiden name.  She said she spoke to her daughter, but her daughter did not have an order number or a confirmation email.  This order never happened, but we'd be glad to place an order for her or her daughter if they'd like to place one via phone or on our website.  Normally crushing the spirit of a dying woman is my thing, but I simply do not have the time today."
DoctorBastardo DoctorBastardo
31-35, M
Oct 20, 2013