Today Is Brand New!!

I have finally made up my mind and will not drink anymore.  I pretty much made the decision on 02/01/10 but had wine last night and now know this time it is for real.  I do not really enjoy drinking I do not get drunk at bars or parties, I just need to stop for me.  I know I will be a better person to myself if I stop drinking and I think I deserve that now.  I am forty years old and have made some really big choices in my life, but I think this is the biggest, and hardest for some reason.  I always feel better if I do not drink.  I have never told anyone that I worry I may have a problem.  I am married, with a family, have a full time job, and am scared to death that I cant do it on my own. So if I write it out I am at least admitting that I am willing to stop and trying to stop.  I do not drink in the morning or every night.  It is just when I drink, I drink a lot (I hate that).  I know i am rambling and I am sorry about that, it is just how everything is coming out right now.  Anyone with suggestions or who is in the same boat please feel free to respond.  I am taking it one day at a time.

memekai memekai
36-40, F
1 Response Feb 12, 2010

me too. same everything. except i'm two years older than you. when i drink i drink WAY too much. turning into a sloppy old drunk so i'm quitting. i have a family too and a full-time job and am married as well. my husband hates it when i drink. my kids probably do too. i spend too much money, drink WAY too much...there's no way i drink just a little anymore. time to get serious. I am working out a lot and doing a health kick. that helps a lot because you really can't do both. those goals don't match. also gives me something else to focus on and use to get release. i'm also a crappy person when I drink. it changes my personality a bit and brings out all the negatives, overrides my good qualities.