i have this problem with choosing people in my life to be friends with that are completely self absorbed. i think the reason i do this is because of the relationship i had with my mother. in that relationship i was always working overtime for her acceptance and approval. but of recent years, i guess because of growth, i have realized that these relationships are toxic to me and though i still put myself through a lot of crap, i am no longer willing to be the only person in the friendship. this morning i ended a friendship i have had off and on for over 8 years now. in the beginning of the friendship i was always the one with the shoulder to cry on - and man was my shoulder wet! i would always pick her up to go out to lunch. she could never meet me anywhere, never listen when i needed and ear... so i pulled away for over a year. i met her again and at first things seemed a little different but then it was back to the same old story. i had twins a year ago and i asked her to be at the birth - nope. she would come to visit and would only talk about herself while i am trying to take care of 2 infants. she always commented on how i had it so good because i had a house, husband, and kids in a manner that screamed, "you have no problems so don't bother me with any!" In the last 6 months i have talked to her very little because of these things and other reasons. she called me the other day and left a message about getting together. i decided that i would have to address these things with her if the friendship was going to continue. so i called her this morning and she basically could not be bothered to listen - she said she already had too much on her plate. i said fine, good luck to you then. it is finally clear to me that this is not a friendship and i need to move on for good this time.