Scattered Thoughts Crashing And Crushing Me....

Constant thoughts come crashing in from all directions, some are good most are crazy and irrational. Is it a addiction or my way of existence and coping with my fears? May be its both. May be I am just so use to to living with constant crashing thoughts that I don't have any idea, as to what it means to have a quiet mind. A quiet moment. An ability to sit still and enjoy the pure silence. A perfect moment of solace and peace without any internal unstoppable stimulus or irrational thought. These thoughts get harder and harder on some days as if someone is constantly knocking on the door wanting to crash into my private space. Invading me and overpowering my sanity. I want to scream and yell stop, stop, go away don't knock, don't you dare break open the doors and invade me. But I give in as I these thoughts hit me harder, my pushing these thoughts exhaust me and they eventually subdue me to their relentless force. Then I am just lost from one thought to the other. Just like a swinging pendulum of a clock, I swing from one thought to the other. Yes! they are crazy thoughts, some are sexual, some are depressing, some are positive, and some just way too dark. But at the end of the day I reach no where, its a existence of an unquiet mind with scattered thought process. 
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26-30
1 Response Dec 16, 2012

It seems that you are thinking that you are helpless to do anything about this and about depression, that you have no idea of the strength you could bring to bear to help yourself. You could. It's possible.