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What If Its Not Like This.

Sometimes i wonder what if i wasnt born in this family? what if its richer?
What if i wasnt born with this face or body? what if its skinnier, prettier?
What if i wasnt born with this brain? what if its smarter in a nature way?

I honestly regret for many things in my life. i know i shouldnt, and no one shouldnt. But, as a human sometimes or even manytimes i feel i wasnt really lucky.

Im not lucky for having bipolar older sister.
Im not lucky for having mom who always demand me to be as tired as she is.
Im not lucky for having father who jobless n brainless.
Im not lucky for not having boyfriend for 5 years.
Im not lucky for not having skinnier body.
Im not lucky that i dont have car.
Im not lucky for not knowing my passion.

My life should be easer that this. Im dying livin in my dreams about the life i want to live! Its not i never grateful for what god has given me. But why my friends got better? Why they can have boyfriend i dreamed of? skinnier body without diet? mommy that always understand them? money whenever they asked?. This isnt fair actually. This is not.

I just want to get a better life. I wanna get out of this house and create my own life. i want partner. I need partner. I cant wait to get my own job and payed so that i can have my own money. Im tired to be in this house. Im sick of always demanded but never respected. Im sick of everything in my life! This is sucks and im dying! I wanna get out!!!!
boogeypals boogeypals 18-21, F May 21, 2012

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