Wish I Could Undo All the Stupid Things I've Done...

Things I've done in my past make me feel so ashamed and embarrassed I find it hard to get past them and get on with my life. When i meet someone who may have heard about something i've done in my past i'm automatically not myself. That leads me to feeling embarrassed about not being myself AND SO ON. It's become a subconcious thing now. I've done anything terrible, just silly and irrate behaviour that prevents me from waking up and enjoying life because i've got horrible associations with places/people.

I know the person i want to be but rarely am her. I feel that becoming her is impossible because i'm always reminded of my past. Hopefully one day the shame will pass and i can get on with my life but inevitably i do something else stupid and am back where i started!


selfdiagnosed selfdiagnosed
22-25, F
19 Responses Sep 10, 2009

Even if the shame doesn't pass: why you can't be who you are? We can be who we are despite of a moment of embarrassment! You can be yourself, even if you feel embarrased, learn to deal with embarrasment, learn to laugh of yourself. If someone judges the ones we were in the past, well, that's on them, we are the ones who we are now, so we don't owe our souls to anybody else but to ourselves.
Let's say you meet someone who met you in the past and tells you: "hey! I remember the time you were drunk and did this and that" so you can tell them: "that was actually my evil clone, that day I was sleeping on my house :D ", or perhaps: "I didn't only do that, I did way worse, I actually went out naked and roller skated that way :D ", you know silly things so they'll laugh (or get pissed off) and eventually forget it!
The reason why so many people insists (it's because they're ********) is because they think that hurt us or bother us, even because they think it was funny, well, guess what? show them you're fine at it, even if you aren't, that you acknowledge it and can laugh at it. Your attitude might even change.
Please take care!

I've put someone through hell recently, and it happened to be someone who i could of really used as a friend down the line. Sure lots of people hate me for the way i was with her. Selfish, used her, manipulative, embarrassed her, everything apart from emotionally abuse or beat her. COuldn't do that. But treated her horribly and she only wanted to help me. But i treated her like scum and lied to her so badly. Now my head is ******, can't concentrate, enjoy life, go back to how things where, face people everything..... Not only ruined that but ruined a lot of things for myself as well, stupid. Just wait for the shame and everything to hit one day. :/

believe me your not alone..im so ashamed about being passive and afraid of success..it has really held
me back,but I don't know how to overcome

exactly same ........
I know the person i want to be but rarely am her.

Everyone has done stupid things, like me I was so stupid that I made a noise complaint. A lady almost called the cops. But life could have ups and downs. Everyone wishes not to do stupid stuff and just have perfect days where there is no trouble.

Forgive yourself and your past choices...they were invaluable lessons to assist you in learning, evolving and growing. Beating yourself up for this lessons isn't going to do anything but keep you "stuck".

I feel this way some days. I wish I could wipe away the past or something, but it is what it is. Sometimes I feel lost because I'm so far away from where I once was, and from what I'm "supposed" to be, but the people I knew and the things I did are behind me. Moving on is the first step to some modicum of success. Letting go of my past, and realizing it was out of my hands anyway is best for me. I hope, in the future, I can be a more positive, modest person and avoid the problems that vexed my life. I'm happy I made this transition at a young age.

oh my god i get you so bad on this one. Even listening to some song is making me sick reminding a bad thing I've done and I wonder if I could ever forget whatshit I've done...goad ahhh I'm embarrassed just writing this! hold on cause people mostly don't care about what people did, cause they're too busy caring about what they did too...

The fact that you are all on this site, reading the posts, and relating to each other makes you all beautiful individuals. It's the people who have done or said stupid things in the past, but don't have any regrets who need help. We are all humans; we all make mistakes. As long as we recognize our shortcomings, we can strive to become better individuals and be at peace with ourselves.

Not sure if you will even read this, as you posted this response two years ago come November. But I just wanted to say thank you. I've really been struggling recently with some decisions I've made in the past, and to read something like this has been more helpful to me than you will ever know. Thank God that people like you exist in this world.

I know the person i want to be but rarely am her. .... <br />
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very well put, indeed.

You might want to check out the Bhagavagita. In it they talk about how if one punishes and judges themselves for their shortcomings and feelings all it does is create a snowball effect and soon you find yourself unable to see yourself for who you really are: light! We are made of light. Now it's just a matter of realizing it. LOL I laugh because sooooo easy to say...!! I tend to forgive myself in advance for all the stupid things I'm going to do. Not that I go out of my way to do stupid things but it happens out of ignorance. I learn and move on. I don't dwell. The fact that you are suffering from the deeds you've done is already punishment enough. Now it's time to start healing so that you can learn why you did those self-abusive things in the first place and catch it before you do it again. Replace those tendencies with other more self-empowering choices. We all lose our innocence some way or other and now it's about getting back to it.

The same thing happens to me. I totally understand how people/places associated with those things I feel like I revert back to how I was. I actually end up not wanting to see any thing/place or have a relationship with anyone associated with those things I can't seem to let go of .The way I deal with it, or am trying to deal with it, is I try my hardest and as often as possible to analyze my beliefs and see how they hold up under the light of truth. When I completely remove myself from the situation, I'm able to reflect on those things with truth in my heart. If your desire for the truth, no matter what it may be, over anything else, you can often find that many of the things you feel bad about are built on lies, misconceptions, and assumptions. Having that realization from a different angle than i'm used to has help me with a lot of my problems. Weed helps with this, lol, but I truly believe it is esoteric. So.. if it's not for you, please don't hate.

Humm....I am tempted to watch the Lion King now lol.<br />
But to the original poster, I say good luck on your journey toward your best self. You've taken the first step by envisioning who you want to be, and you can get there as long as you have that vision. I am dealing with similar issues, too. I am working on convincing myself that most people truly are too busy too tired or too happy to dwell on whatever we've done. So we shouldn't hold these grudges against ourselves. It all just isn't that important. We want to give it importance because life is about the meanings we give things, but in the end it just isn't that important. You have more to gain from giving meaning to that which brings you joy.

Just saying but The Lion King has fantastic lessons on dealing with shame and mistakes in the past. You may think that I'm being stupid but I am %100 serious. Watch The Lion King and in 2 hours I guarantee you will have better methods of dealing with your past.

Ok i feel the same. i just dont know what to do with my life. im not suicidal. just lost hope. joined here to share and maybe some answers. my past is todays total. not athing left. so ya good luck and if you find answers please share w/Verno

As do i, thanks so much for the great advise guys. I feel better just reading what you said.

Yeah, everyone is right. I like all the answers above.

We are all humans. I doubt there is anyone that can honestly say that they have never said or done anything which they do not regret. My list is so long that I'd have to publish it as a book. <br />
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What could you have possibly said or done that could be so bad? Tell lies? People lie everyday as a matter of social intercourse. Just imagine the wife that gets a new haircut and her husband hates it. Pity the husband that fails to lie. His life will become a living hell.<br />
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Short of a criminal act, there is nothing you could have done which has not been done (and forgiven) before. Life is way too short to live in your personal pot of pity. The longer you remain in that position, the less time you have to enjoy life. <br />
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Whatever you have said or done, dust yourself off and get back on your horse. No one can put you back on, you have to stand up and climb on the horse yourself. Once you're back on, you are free! Your life is what you choose to make of it.<br />
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I wish you the best ... you can start by looking in the mirror and realizing the true potential of the person you are seeing.

Inspirational, Thank You

What about people who have done something criminal or whatever. Are they doomed then? Do they ever get to move? Their mistake may have been a bad one but they do still recognize it was a mistake. Does it make a difference or do they not deserve a second chance or to move on?

The past is the past. No one cares. It's what you are today. I haven't been an angel in my past myself. There are a lot of things that I did but I figure that it's the past and who really remembers it. Just be the best you can be now and things will get better. I sometimes think of things that I'm ashamed of but I take a look at myself today and am proud of what I've become. We all do stupid things. You can't forget it but you can forgive yourself for it. Be good to yourself.

This is the best thing I've heard :) its made me feel so much better about my self, Thank You!