I Am Emotionally Torn

Him

By: freeangel

Written on April 21st, 2010

i do not like to speak ill of anyone but i need to vent. my ex is in hospital and i feel really bad for him. i have no feelings for him but i do not like to know anyone is suffering. he wants me by his side. that makes me so angry i could scream. the reason being.the whole time i was with him he ignored me when i needed medical help. he would wait till i passed out in pain or could hardly breathe and even then he would stand over me.sometimes i had to ring them.he never came with me.he knew how scared i was with doctors.he hurt me in such a way earlier this year i was in hospital and they insisted i should place charges i did not.i do not like to regret things but i regret not doing this.the reason why is because he has and still ignores what he did to me.still not a sorry.i was crying in pain with no one by myside i drove myself to the hospital.i nearly passed out along the way. i need ed stitches in my foot he refused to drive me and knew i was not allowed to drive he got a bandaid. blood was poring every where i grabbed a towel and drove myself i felt so ill. i got three stitches.luckily it was not my driving foot.now he feels the same pain i felt when he physically hurt me and i ended up in the hospital.he has family running around for him and he wants me. he makes me so mad.yet i can not help but feel bad and feel i have a resposibility to him. i explain to him how he is feeling the pain thats how he made me feel . i am scared he is in such a bad way i do not want to give in and go there i am torn. today has been so emotional and i feel like a ***** for not being by his side .i also can not look at myself in the mirror any more i hate myself.he has done so many awful things to me i am so mental to still care for this person.

By: freeangel

Age: 31-35 , Female

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11 responses

freeangel

thank you that is so sweet of you to say thank you for the comment

Apr 24, 2010
1 like
Thunderwalk

You have proven that you are a lady , walk away gracefully and say goodbye with your head high. Do not pity this person, there are to many of his ilk , cowardly, childish , men who deserve no quarter. You are stronger , better, for this experience he cried like a child . Now as any good parent would do when a child as crocodile tears , ignore it you have no time for these games. I respect moon lit night 30 opinion , but I must disagree in this matter , I believe you handled yourself like a lady.

Apr 24, 2010
1 like
freeangel

it turns out it was not surgery even though he tried to convince me it was, it was a procedure i have had before nothing to it. he forgot i have gone through the samr thing.bloody ex. a visit will help in and he will feel he has control i will not go.

Apr 22, 2010
1 like
cheerfulchuck

I think that you feel sorry for him because you are a good person and have a past with him. You don't have to like what he has done to you, but you don't need to have bad wishes for another person if it can be helped. I don't know that you should go and be by his side throughout his stay, but a visit could do wonders for a persons soul. I think moonlitnight30 is giving good advise where I would add to look inside yourself and I am sure you will do what is right for your situation. Best of luck...

Apr 22, 2010
1 like
freeangel

my ex is having surgery done right now. i do not know why yet. i can not help but feel sorry for him.

Apr 22, 2010
1 like
freeangel

get results today i am crossing my fingers for him.

Apr 21, 2010
1 like
frostbittensoul

karma?

Apr 21, 2010
1 like
freeangel

he might have cancer though

Apr 21, 2010
1 like
freeangel

he feels pain and wants me there what a joke. i am so upset. i have been in hospital in the same pain and he ignored me and he caused that pain i had no one. i know if i go there he will think he has control over me again. i refuse to give in. my heart and head is torn but i know the right thing for me.not to go.

Apr 21, 2010
1 like
frostbittensoul

dont go to him,that part of your life is over.he needs to move on.you have such a big heart,its one of the many thing i love about u.stay strong and dont give in.STAY AWAY,he will only hurt u again

Apr 21, 2010
1 like
Sammael

don't go at his side, you will validate what he's done to you earlier. He may think about it and by miracle may repent ( I have a doubt about it).

Apr 21, 2010
1 like

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