i do not like to speak ill of anyone but i need to vent. my ex is in hospital and i feel really bad for him. i have no feelings for him but i do not like to know anyone is suffering. he wants me by his side. that makes me so angry i could scream. the reason being.the whole time i was with him he ignored me when i needed medical help. he would wait till i passed out in pain or could hardly breathe and even then he would stand over me.sometimes i had to ring them.he never came with me.he knew how scared i was with doctors.he hurt me in such a way earlier this year i was in hospital and they insisted i should place charges i did not.i do not like to regret things but i regret not doing this.the reason why is because he has and still ignores what he did to me.still not a sorry.i was crying in pain with no one by myside i drove myself to the hospital.i nearly passed out along the way. i need ed stitches in my foot he refused to drive me and knew i was not allowed to drive he got a bandaid. blood was poring every where i grabbed a towel and drove myself i felt so ill. i got three stitches.luckily it was not my driving foot.now he feels the same pain i felt when he physically hurt me and i ended up in the hospital.he has family running around for him and he wants me. he makes me so mad.yet i can not help but feel bad and feel i have a resposibility to him. i explain to him how he is feeling the pain thats how he made me feel . i am scared he is in such a bad way i do not want to give in and go there i am torn. today has been so emotional and i feel like a ***** for not being by his side .i also can not look at myself in the mirror any more i hate myself.he has done so many awful things to me i am so mental to still care for this person.