My Life Is
I used to have a eating disorder. My parents found out and i swore i would never do it again. I stuck to the promise but im still scared of the amount of calories i take in each day, the amount of excerise i dont get because im not alowed to exercise at the gym anymore cause im not allowed to "diet" anymore. Just cause im scared to eat dosnt mean i still have bulimia or anorexia it means that i quit cold turkey and its extremly hard to change your thoughts on something. Do you know how hard it is for me to eat a vegitarian meal(forgot to mention im vegitarian/vegan) for me now. Not to even go in to detail how my family thinks im a burdan on them/ just a dissapointment to them. They told me to my face " mackenzie, you are a disspointment to this family" and im now emotionly unstable. I cry about my bad habbits that i had. I laugh at nothing. I become depressed so easily. And is it bad that the person i trust is my ex/best friend. I can trust him with anything, i love him. I cant walk into a room without being asked by my mom saying " what did you eat today?" then i say what i had( which to them isnt alot but to a person whos ****** up in the head about food it is alot) and then we get into a HUGE fight, just because they dont get what i have delt with about girls being mean and guys making fun of weight. I lost it all as i grew but then i got affraid when i gained 3 pounds. Soo thats how my bulimia started. But just because they dont get me dosnt mean every single day should be a battle. Im considering suicide at the momment, help me... No SAVE ME.