I Envy Too Much

I am easily envious to the people I know, especially my friends. Whenever there's something good happened to them, I am always envy and deeply enraged by that. Maybe because I feel, I am not as good and as smart as them. I am lost.

My life isn't that bad but I couldn't restrain myself from being so envious. I try to be big-heart and accept that my friends are on a better performance than me but it is so difficult. I envy everything about my friends.

Recently, I have been envious about the exam results. This semester, the exam results have been posted. I was disappointed with my results when I thought I have tried my best. When I see my boyfriend's results (we are classmates), I was quite shocked, since he got good grades when he wasn't study that much. He was so carefree.

It was a bitter thing. I tried to accept and even congratulated him though. I was deeply disappointed and envious.

I want to stop from being so envious since I was the one who suffered. This is so sickening and terrible. What should I do ?
autumnmelody autumnmelody
22-25, F
1 Response Mar 21, 2013

I completely understand. Look - it was just an exam result, but this is a big problem. You need to work on your esteem, and see your best qualities. Everyone has a special quality, that only they possess.

For example, I got incredibly jealous of people who could sing so carefree, talk well, physically fit, beautiful without effort, and it made me feel like crap, and I felt like a crumpled ball of paper, when they were the final project. I was even envious of the littlest things.

I never appreciated my gift to draw. I thought 'oh well, everyone can do that with practice!" It was later I realized that no, not everyone can draw!

Love for you to email me. I'm here x