Big Family

i have 7 sibling ..hae 4sister , 1 big brother , and 1 lil brother .im the second last ...the problem is ,,i feel like i am nothing to this family ..i am transgender ( ftm , well pre op in everything ,still finding way to reach for my happiness ) ..im muslim , and this is the biggest problem for being transgender ..everybody in my family hated me ..like im the disease in this family ..being crying a lot ..i want to be a girl , but i just can ..this is not me ..but they will never understand ..well , they love my lil brother alot ..they said " he's clever " , " he's handsome " , and so on .. all my sister love him so much ..they give full attention to him .. i love him to ,but i cant keep out this jelousy feeling toward him ..he get what he want ..from my sibling also from my parents .. when we are kids , i never get any toys from my parents ..in silent , i played his toys , and take a good care of his toys as i never get anything !! i dont know how to  say , but this make me sick ..f u c kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
iamnotwhatiam iamnotwhatiam
22-25, T
1 Response May 14, 2012

I hope things get better for you.