Estranged From My Family After Years Of Abuse

All through my life, I have been the family scapegoat. I have been blamed for all the things that have gone wrong in my family from domestic violence between my parents to the failures of my younger siblings. I have been abused verbally and emotionally and generally withheld love. My mother has accused me of being a prostitute and of sleeping with my biological father (her husband). None of the accusations have any basis whatsoever but it appears that my siblings and family friends believe them.

In 2009, I was driving along a busy road with my mother and we got into a heated argue. She struck me on the head while I was driving and I asked her and my younger sister to get out of my car. I did not speak to her again for months after this.

Four months later, I recieved 50 answer machine messages from her with abuse and accusations. Most notably she said that she would drive me to suicide. I reported this to the police and she was arrested and given a caution.

In the meanwhile, I noticed that other family members and family friends had become extremely hostile towards me. I did not understand why but ignored it. My younger sister told me that my mother had been telling everyone that I had repeatedly struck her in the face and that she was suffering from headaches and problems with her eye as a result.

My mother went from doctor to doctor with this story and they could not find anything wrong. No obvious injury or reason was found for the pain that she was feeling.

In 2011, (two years after the argument that I had with my mother in the car), it was found that she was actually suffering from cancer and the pain and migraines were symptoms of sinus cancer. In short, this diagnosis proved that she had been lying all along about the cause of her pain. She had wrongly accused me and had turned everyone against me.

My mother died earlier this year (2012) of cancer. Immediately after the funeral, I was viciously attacked by my two brothers (aged 24 and 37) and the family helped them cover up what they did and lied to the police to make it look like I am the problem. Nobody seems to understand the impact that this has had on me and i have been told to move on and forget about the incident because my brothers are grieving "their" loss.

I still am not able to understand why a mother would scapegoat her daughter and let everyone believe that the daughter was the cause of her illness. I have finally realised that there is no love in this family and I am now permanently estranged from them.
Truth77 Truth77
31-35, F
1 Response May 21, 2012

I'm so very sorry you experienced this throughout your childhood and adolescent life...Your story hits home in so many ways for me as I've faced similar behavior and treatment from my mother, sibling, and father who is divorced from mother...the worst was yet to come when my mother married her second husband...that's when the real abuse began...verbal, emotional, and physical...how can a<br />
Mother blame her only son for the abusive treatment recieved from her crazy husband? It's a sick, and scary world that we live in and unfortunately that doesn't exclude family members...I hope you will get through this and please remember you're not alone.