Taking Time Away WorkedAs an adult I can see that my mother had a tough life. Becoming pregnet in high school, marrying a abusive alcoholic, and one of two of her boys born with down syndrome.
The abuse she received from my dad she took out on us kids. I reported it at school but during that time period it wasn't abuse it was discipline. I still don't understand how black eyes are seen this way. This led to an abusive first marriage. When I divorced him, no one understood. I was told it's not that bad, you made your bed you have to lay in it. I'm in the process of divorcing my second husband, who was only verbally abusive. Once again my mother told me I should stay with him, he doesn't hit you, how bad can it be.
A few years ago, I went to each family member and told them how they hurt me and I would no longer associate with them. It was great, so freeing. Even though we all lived in the same town I kept my word. In the last year My parents health has gone down hill and I almost died.
My father has turned bitter and more verbally abusive. After an hour with him recently, ive decided to avoid him again. I'm proud of myself that I didn't allow him to reduce me to tears. I'm sure I won't feel guilty when I go to his funeral.
I'm proud of my mother, not only has she dealt with I'll health but the death of my step father. She has apologized and explained why she did the things she did when we were kids. She wants a second chance to show me how proud she is of me. She will continue to give her point of view but she realizes that I will do what is right for me.
I'm so glad I've stuck up for myself and came out the other end with one parent.
Badina 46-50, F 3 Responses 1 Jun 13, 2012