Taking Time Away Worked

As an adult I can see that my mother had a tough life. Becoming pregnet in high school, marrying a abusive alcoholic, and one of two of her boys born with down syndrome.
The abuse she received from my dad she took out on us kids. I reported it at school but during that time period it wasn't abuse it was discipline. I still don't understand how black eyes are seen this way. This led to an abusive first marriage. When I divorced him, no one understood. I was told it's not that bad, you made your bed you have to lay in it. I'm in the process of divorcing my second husband, who was only verbally abusive. Once again my mother told me I should stay with him, he doesn't hit you, how bad can it be.
A few years ago, I went to each family member and told them how they hurt me and I would no longer associate with them. It was great, so freeing. Even though we all lived in the same town I kept my word. In the last year My parents health has gone down hill and I almost died.
My father has turned bitter and more verbally abusive. After an hour with him recently, ive decided to avoid him again. I'm proud of myself that I didn't allow him to reduce me to tears. I'm sure I won't feel guilty when I go to his funeral.
I'm proud of my mother, not only has she dealt with I'll health but the death of my step father. She has apologized and explained why she did the things she did when we were kids. She wants a second chance to show me how proud she is of me. She will continue to give her point of view but she realizes that I will do what is right for me.
I'm so glad I've stuck up for myself and came out the other end with one parent.
Badina Badina
46-50, F
3 Responses Jun 13, 2012

You were apt to marry these abusive men because that's what you were raised in=--stay away- no peace will come from them

Don't let them they are spoken not by real love and should not be given value.They are seeds planted with hope they will destroy the whole garden..don't let them grow then he wins.

Thanks next time his negative words come into my mind I will imagine grabbing weed killer.

;-) plant a new flower while your at it

One parent is better than none :-) Verbal abuse is like getting hit in the heart.Emotional battering is assault too

Sometimes I think verbal is worse. A bruise heals but the words stay forever.