I'm Just Not Like Them.
I haven't spoken to my younger sister since just before Christmas.
My dad was planning a dinner, and since most of my sibs live in one city, he wanted to meet there. I live over two hours away, and was working the date in question... and since I work retail management, during December, my workload triples. I deal with over 10000 people a day coming through the doors, and find that I'm just not up to travelling after that.
I told my dad and sibs that I wouldn't be able to make it, because 2 hours travel each way for one hour of dinner was just something I couldn't do that time of year. My brothers and my dad understood, but my sister took great offence to this and sent a nasty email about what a horrible, ungrateful, selfish person I am.
Since this email was right on the heels of several nasty comments she'd made on photos I had posted on facebook, and several snide comments made to friends & family about photos I'd posted, I removed her from my friends list and blocked her access to my albums. I get so stressed in December, and was so tired of everything I did being criticized by her, even if it was something that didn't involve her. If everything you did was fodder for someone's snarky conversations behind your back, would you still allow that person access to your pics?
3 days later (when she realized she couldn't see my pictures and comment on them any more) I got another nasty email from her about how I've always been jealous of her, mean to her, and how I've have picked on her her whole life.
My mom suffered from chronic depression when I was young, and ranged from abusive to completely lethargic. I looked after my younger sibs all through my teen years- did the grocery shopping and cooking, laundry, took them to school and left school early to pick them up... made sure they had a cake and presents on their birthdays, all the things a mom is supposed to do but our mom was too tranked up to bother with. I've never been mean to her, and gave up a lot of my own youth for the sake of her and our brothers. When Mom kicked her out of the house, I let her come stay with me and helped her get a start in her own apartment. As far as I can tell, I've never been anything but good to her. I have no idea where she gets this persecution complex, but I figure that since I can't convince her otherwise and all she does is create stress for me when I am around her, I won't be around her.
I still care about her and I wish she could be happy, but I think she probably isn't. If she was really happy, would she be so obsessed with criticizing someone else's life?
I'd try to make it better if I thought it was possible, but she's always so convinced that she's right. I just don't have the patience required to try to convince someone who refuses to admit the possibility of being wrong, so I stay away from her. I've sent birthday and Christmas gifts and a few cards so she knows I think of her and that I care, but I feel it's my right to not allow someone who does nothing but spout negativity the chance to be a part of my day-to-day life.