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Estranged From Family And The Holidays

I've got two younger sisters with families of their own.  Our parents are still living.  We all live the same area and both sisters and Mom keep in touch on a daily basis.  For several years, if I wanted contact I would have to call them.  And now, with the holidays approaching, I feel like a stranger at family gatherings.  I don't want to go this year.  I'll end of standing around and listening to the others talk and carry on.  I don't know their little inside jokes or the shopping and parties they've gone to together.  There's nothing for me to share anymore.  Wonder if I should just cut myself off completely and quit trying to be a part of the family.  I am divorced with one daughter.  I'm certain to hear that it's my fault she doesn't wish to be a part of them either.  I get so blue around the holidays.

blue456 blue456 51-55, F 2 Responses Nov 23, 2009

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Goggos, I do sincerely hope you are doing ok. I realize the holidays are a hard time for so many of us. And after so many years, life will never be the same. As long as we are here for each other...........

I am going for my 4th year been the one that just does not get invited to family gatherings - It hurts but you know what ... like everything it somehow becomes a memory