I Am Experiencing a Reality Check
I didn't realise how different it would feel to be entirely in control of my own day. I know that sounds really dumb, but when you have your parents to wake you up in the morning and to cook meals for you and wash your clothes and all that stuff, you don't realise how much work it really is to look after yourself.
I guess I just got used to having people around me all the time. I got used to waking up and having breakfast already waiting, and coming home and seeing my clothes neatly stacked up all freshly laundered, and my dry cleaning picked up, and my favourite foods in the fridge.
I had a really bad argument with my parents and they told me to get out. I'm staying with a friend at the moment, sometimes with other people as well, and it's a bit of a shock. I guess because it's so different. The friend I'm staying with is really different to me in terms of lifestyle and attitudes and learning to adapt to her routine has been hard. I feel like I'm intruding, even though she says I'm not. I try to help out by tidying up and picking things up at the supermarket and all that but I never realised how much work it takes to keep a house running smoothly.
She wants me to move in officially but I don't know if I should because I'm not sure about about things like leases and bills. What if she falls out with me and I get told to get out? I really don't want that again. It's scary to not know where to go or what to do. I just want things to be stable again. We get along though and I really like her. It's just weird for me to have to wake myself up, get everything done and get myself ready for work (and there on time). I never really appreciated all the help I got until now.
Mostly I miss my pets. I used to have all my pets asleep on my bed in the evening and I'd lay among them and it felt really nice to fall asleep like that. They were sort of my real family and I got used to that, but now I go to bed and it's just me in that bed all alone. Nobody and nothing to cuddle and that's the worst part of it all. I went to my friend's room last night and asked to sleep in her bed. She said yes but I don't think she really wanted me there and things were weird this morning. I'm just not used to being all alone, it's such a strange feeling =(
I guess I just got used to having people around me all the time. I got used to waking up and having breakfast already waiting, and coming home and seeing my clothes neatly stacked up all freshly laundered, and my dry cleaning picked up, and my favourite foods in the fridge.
I had a really bad argument with my parents and they told me to get out. I'm staying with a friend at the moment, sometimes with other people as well, and it's a bit of a shock. I guess because it's so different. The friend I'm staying with is really different to me in terms of lifestyle and attitudes and learning to adapt to her routine has been hard. I feel like I'm intruding, even though she says I'm not. I try to help out by tidying up and picking things up at the supermarket and all that but I never realised how much work it takes to keep a house running smoothly.
She wants me to move in officially but I don't know if I should because I'm not sure about about things like leases and bills. What if she falls out with me and I get told to get out? I really don't want that again. It's scary to not know where to go or what to do. I just want things to be stable again. We get along though and I really like her. It's just weird for me to have to wake myself up, get everything done and get myself ready for work (and there on time). I never really appreciated all the help I got until now.
Mostly I miss my pets. I used to have all my pets asleep on my bed in the evening and I'd lay among them and it felt really nice to fall asleep like that. They were sort of my real family and I got used to that, but now I go to bed and it's just me in that bed all alone. Nobody and nothing to cuddle and that's the worst part of it all. I went to my friend's room last night and asked to sleep in her bed. She said yes but I don't think she really wanted me there and things were weird this morning. I'm just not used to being all alone, it's such a strange feeling =(